Psychologist-purpose, question

[Nymph]

Do they only listen to you and say a few words from time to time (advice)? I'm not sure if it's gonna help me to just be heard and be able to talk about my feelings honestly. Today I had my first session with someone who seems pretty cool (not like the school psychologist). It was just the first session so we had the "starting interview" where I talked about my whole life so she can understand me better later on. But i don't know, I know it's just the first meeting but I'm not sure if it's actually gonna help me. It's just me talking..how could that help?

 

[JustHeckinKillMe]

That's what I wondered too after my first session so waiting for other replies..

 

[GrumpyFrog]

I wouldn't say I have an overwhelming amount of experience with psychologists/therapists, but from what I've experienced, they start off mostly listening to get a good understanding of your issues, and then they start suggesting solutions, in a sort of "have you ever tried to ABC? What do you think about doing XYZ?" way - they don't give you imperatives like "do this, or else..." and they usually are okay with you "not being ready" to follow the advice, although they would explain why it would be beneficial to you. They might also do therapeutic excercises with you, some are roleplaying situations and DBT stuff, some have to do with creativity, like drawing or creative writing, and some are more simple like suggesting you listen to a certain "speech" and meditate to it. I know psychology/therapy has it's own specialised branches, like psychoanalysis or art-therapy, so if your psychologist specialises in something specific you might have a different experience.
The above is my experience with a good therapist, though. The bad ones I've dealt with just asked basically the same questions over and over without really listening to my answers, suggested very basic things like journaling and excercise, the kind of advice you could've got from wikihow, and then solemnly stated that I am not making any progress.

The things with therapists listening to you is that they don't just employ "active listening" in a way someone on a helpline would. A good psychologist would ask you the right questions and slowly lead you to explore the thing that might allow you to have realisations and conclusions that might help you with your issues. They don't force things upon you as a universal truth, but allow you to come to the conclusions yourself and gently push you towards things that might help you by making you ponder certain topics.

 

[ohhgeeitsme]

I think it all depends on the person and also the therapist and their approach. For a lot of people, simply talking about their problems and verbally expressing their feelings to another person really helps. For other people, probably not so much. I know a lot of people swear by it though. I haven't tried, because I can't afford it, so I don't know. I feel like for me personally, knowing someone is only listening to me because I'm paying them wouldn't sit well with me and may even cause me to feel a little resentment toward them, even if they genuinely care. It would kind of feel like paying for a friend or a prostitute to me, but maybe it wouldn't if I ever gave it a shot. Maybe if I know the person has gone through similar things and actually "gets it" and that's why they got into the field to begin with, that could possibly work. Or someone who not only listens, but also teaches me ways of changing my behavior and the way I think about certain things (like CBT or something). I could see that being beneficial. I'm merely speculating about all of this, obviously. I don't really know either.

 

[Mouse_]

I've been in therapy for almost four years now. In my experience, therapy alone doesn't magically make your problems go away - it's a treatment, and it can be helpful, but it's not a "cure".

The thing is, your therapist is not going to give you direct advice on what to do, and they won't openly express opinions. Their job is to give you the tools to take apart the problems that plague you, giving you a different perspective on your life and thoughts, so that you are equipped to find on your own a solution that works FOR YOU.

Therapy is work. It's hard, and emotionally draining, because it's like opening up a festering wound in order to treat it. It will make you dwell on things that you'd often rather not dwell on. But in the process
1) you will have earned a trusted confidante, and that is precious; you can rant at them all you like and they'll never get tired of you, they will never judge you (au contraire, they will treat you like you're WORTHY of being heard and loved - that was a big one for me), and they will memorize what you told them and use it to make you see certain patterns in your behaviour, which is something a, idk, journal would never be able to do;
2) you will learn a lot about yourself and human nature in general. This can help you mitigate symptoms and avoid certain patterns of behaviour that end up being self-destructive in the long run, when they come from you, and toxic, when they come from other people.

I hope this helps!

 

[Donk]

I'm not an expert by any stretch of imagination but the first session involves understanding client's issues or problems then formulating an action plan which will be the most beneficial to the client. You should give it a few more session before deciding whether your psychologist is right for you.

 

[Nymph]

like journaling and excercise, the kind of advice you could've got from wikihow, and then solemnly stated that I am not making any progress.

Ugh, this is what my school psychologist
told me. The "just go for a walk" sorta bs.

But thanks for the explanation, I guess I sorta get it

I think it all depends on the person and also the therapist and their approach. For a lot of people, simply talking about their problems and verbally expressing their feelings to another person really helps. For other people, probably not so much. I know a lot of people swear by it though. I haven't tried, because I can't afford it, so I don't know. I feel like for me personally, knowing someone is only listening to me because I'm paying them wouldn't sit well with me and may even cause me to feel a little resentment toward them, even if they genuinely care. It would kind of feel like paying for a friend or a prostitute to me, but maybe it wouldn't if I ever gave it a shot. Maybe if I know the person has gone through similar things and actually "gets it" and that's why they got into the field to begin with, that could possibly work. Or someone who not only listens, but also teaches me ways of changing my behavior and the way I think about certain things (like CBT or something). I could see that being beneficial. I'm merely speculating about all of this, obviously. I don't really know either.

I see, my psychologist is payed by my insurance. The waiting list is long but hopefully it will be worth it

I've been in therapy for almost four years now. In my experience, therapy alone doesn't magically make your problems go away - it's a treatment, and it can be helpful, but it's not a "cure".

The thing is, your therapist is not going to give you direct advice on what to do, and they won't openly express opinions. Their job is to give you the tools to take apart the problems that plague you, giving you a different perspective on your life and thoughts, so that you are equipped to find on your own a solution that works FOR YOU.

Therapy is work. It's hard, and emotionally draining, because it's like opening up a festering wound in order to treat it. It will make you dwell on things that you'd often rather not dwell on. But in the process
1) you will have earned a trusted confidante, and that is precious; you can rant at them all you like and they'll never get tired of you, they will never judge you (au contraire, they will treat you like you're WORTHY of being heard and loved - that was a big one for me), and they will memorize what you told them and use it to make you see certain patterns in your behaviour, which is something a, idk, journal would never be able to do;
2) you will learn a lot about yourself and human nature in general. This can help you mitigate symptoms and avoid certain patterns of behaviour that end up being self-destructive in the long run, when they come from you, and toxic, when they come from other people.

I hope this helps!

I see, thank you for the explanation:)

 

[ohhgeeitsme]

I see, my psychologist is payed by my insurance. The waiting list is long but hopefully it will be worth it

It's definitely worth a try! I'd also advise on sticking with it for at least a while before you decide on whether it's working for you. Also, I'm sure therapists are hit and miss so you may not get the best fit for you right off the bat. Anyway, I wish you the best of luck and it's great you're trying to find help to better your situation. It really is a huge step and you should feel proud of yourself for getting to this point.

 

[Nymph]

It's definitely worth a try! I'd also advise on sticking with it for at least a while before you decide on whether it's working for you. Also, I'm sure therapists are hit and miss so you may not get the best fit for you right off the bat. Anyway, I wish you the best of luck and it's great you're trying to find help to better your situation. It really is a huge step and you should feel proud of yourself for getting to this point.

Thank you:)