KenDuh
Member
- Nov 1, 2025
- 32
Today I went to my favourite psychologist, I finally told him the truth, "I want to die, i don't want to do anything more, I'm just coming here because it's this or being hospitalized". We talked for a while, he told me a bit about his life, how he was also kinda lost in the world, we talked about pain and horror, how the life feels not only like a nonsense but a punishment, we talked about the waiting, the time one spends just trying to get better, without knowing if it ever gets better.
He read a book, a man who has lost his soul, he went to a psychologist looking for help, she told him that his soul must be far away, because the soul is slower than the body, and that he must find a good place and wait. He waited in a house far away, feeling empty and even forgotten, he waited. The soul was moving, but it was slow and only after 2 years it arrived. He felt alive again, the same house, the same things, but they all looked different, he started moving slower so he would never lose his soul again.
I told my psychologist, "It could be nothing on the other side, I don't know if I'm waiting for a great life or a horrific ending", he told me that I needed to do some things while waiting (meditating, medicine, and other stuff).
Maybe the worst part about my psychologist is that he's a human and not a god, and that he knows it very well, he won't tell me what to do; he won't tell me that suicide is bad, nor good; he won't tell me if I it's better for me to leave the uni and just stay in bed all day; he won't tell me if I should live or die, he will only make me company and give me tools to not feel that bad, but he respects my life and my decisions, and that is hard, because I would love if he was a god, if he just told me what to do, but it is my life so I got to make my choices and live with the consequences.
He read a book, a man who has lost his soul, he went to a psychologist looking for help, she told him that his soul must be far away, because the soul is slower than the body, and that he must find a good place and wait. He waited in a house far away, feeling empty and even forgotten, he waited. The soul was moving, but it was slow and only after 2 years it arrived. He felt alive again, the same house, the same things, but they all looked different, he started moving slower so he would never lose his soul again.
I told my psychologist, "It could be nothing on the other side, I don't know if I'm waiting for a great life or a horrific ending", he told me that I needed to do some things while waiting (meditating, medicine, and other stuff).
Maybe the worst part about my psychologist is that he's a human and not a god, and that he knows it very well, he won't tell me what to do; he won't tell me that suicide is bad, nor good; he won't tell me if I it's better for me to leave the uni and just stay in bed all day; he won't tell me if I should live or die, he will only make me company and give me tools to not feel that bad, but he respects my life and my decisions, and that is hard, because I would love if he was a god, if he just told me what to do, but it is my life so I got to make my choices and live with the consequences.
