Psychiatry/therapy treats people unfairly who cannot be helped

[noname223]

I have made 3 psychotherapies and were in several clinics over the last decade. Ironically my first therapist thought I had a great and bright future. I always knew this was not true. I can very well remember his sentences. He told me something like your problems kept solvable because you have not taken drugs. He found it somewhat funny I worked so hard that I got a psychosis and did not question why I did it. The truth is my work ethics come from abuse/violence since childhood. But I felt too embarrassed and shocked to talk openly about it after my first psychosis. 4 years later this therapist has given up on me because he thinks I will kill myself due to coming poverty. To be honest I think this analysis is pretty accurate. My second therapist (which were not in clinic) also came to this conclusion.
We were all sure my severe depression was treatment resistant. I urged other psychiatrists to give me different medication. And my mental state improved not sure whether there was a causal connection though.

However concerning commiting suicide this does not really change anything. I am still suicidal and depressed but less. My biggest problem is the future. Bipolar disorder normally processes in cycles. I have sworn myself to kill me if I get this severe psychosomatic pain again. (Not sure if I will go through with it next time but it is clear I will approach suicide more and more with every severe depressive episode. I think this is the inner logic of my suicidality.)

I am currently working with my third therapist on my problems. There were times absolutely no hope was in sight. I failed, failed and failed to recover. I gave 150% of dedication, commitment and energy to find an option how to get a stable income. I argued a lot of my therapist. I had the feeling he always blamed me for my failures. I think he really did that. And I have met other therapists in clinics who did the same. When they don't know any advice anymore they blame the patient. I described this situation once in a pro-life mental health forum. Most comments blamed me. Another user told me I just don't want to get better. I think a lot of people have this attitude. He compared his situation and mine. Told me it was a hard battle with his illness but in the end he managed it. But only because he had the commitment. (and implied I would not have it.)

I now had a tiny success that I might have the chance to get an income. Personally I know this is deceiving and distracting me. But for me it feels so much better to live with this tiny hope and running away from my problems. Kind of escapism. (Many here have expressed they cannot really relate to this behavior.)

The crucial point of the thread is the following. My therapist (who is generally as nice guy) treats me way better after this tiny success. We all pretend I had a chance for an income I just don't want to burst his bubble with some facts. This tiny success won't save me it won't prevent poverty. And pretending otherwise is kind of naive. I really dislike the fact how much better he treats me after this "success". I know it feels nice. But nothing fundamentally changed. I had a little bit of luck not to get psychotic or manic again. My commitment kept the same. But when I failed he blamed it on me. He should have treated me that nicely also after all my failures. I really have the feeling some therapists blame their patients for failures. And if someone can't improve his/her situation it is his/her own fault.

This is especially hurtful for patients who already hate themselves and always blame themselves for their failures. They strengthen this feeling of self-loathing and feeling like a loser. It hurt me a lot when my therapists did that. (Though not all did it ) And when I finally will fail again they will blame it on me. Shall I feel better just because I had a little bit temporary luck? This system is really unfair and hyprocritical!

 

[Nightmare Painting]

This sounds like a terrible therapist; they aren't suppose to be blaming you and gaslighting you because of their own incompetence or society's inability to provide tangible forms of relief.

The people who got "better" already had the resources and ability to help themselves and your circumstances are unique to everyone else's. Not all problems are fixable and not everyone can help themselves or has the resources to do so; blaming their patient is a shitty thing to do.

I left therapy years ago because I'm one of those people that can't help themselves which essentially made therapy completely pointless if not downright alienating and harmful.

 

[noname223]

This sounds like a terrible therapist; they aren't suppose to be blaming you and gaslighting you because of their own incompetence or society's inability to provide tangible forms of relief.

The people who got "better" already had the resources and ability to help themselves and your circumstances are unique to everyone else's. Not all problems are fixable and not everyone can help themselves or has the resources to do so; blaming their patient is a shitty thing to do.

I left therapy years ago because I'm one of those people that can't help themselves which essentially made therapy completely pointless if not downright alienating and harmful.

Maybe I am too sensitive concerning these feelings. Almost noone said it directly to me that it is my fault. But they implied it. And even doing that in a subtle way can be really hurtful.

 

[Snake of Eden]

More people and especially ones with relevant qualification need to come forward to speak about reality of psychiatry and psychology and that it barely helps anyone. They will never be the answer for the mental health crisis. There is nothing they can improve on to be as impactful as they claim they are. There are tons of other more impactful ways to mitigate the crisis of mental health like targeting poverty and homelessness in profound, tangible and quick ways like actually giving people money and homes to live in and yes society in rich countries at least can afford that without it affecting their economies or unemployment rates negatively. It is an a small investment with great yield for future generations to come.