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Devils_candY

Devils_candY

Afraid of life... scared to sleep...
Oct 23, 2020
46
Im a self described psychonaut. To you who don't know what that is, it's a person who explores the world of psychedelics whether they be lysergamides, Entheogens, or tryptamines. I live the world of self discovery through the use of psychedelics. I've been experiencing life through the psychedelic experience since my early teenage years. I find them healing, transcending in nature. They have profoundly changed my life, although haven't cured my suicidal mind, but I regret not ever one trip.

Today psychedelics like lSD, Psilocybin, Mescalin, Ketamine, MDMA, Aboga, Kambo, Ayahuasca, amongst others are being studied and applied as useful psychotherapy tools. MDMA for instance was originally developed as an antidepressant, now it's being reconsidered, lol. LSD, originally developed i think for allergies?(I think) is now being considered for healing trauma and helping PTSD patients and Depression patients.

See psychedelics are extremely good at helping you work out past emotional baggage and past trauma. Common tryptamines and Lysergamides help the hippocampus develop new habits and can increase serotonin receptor growth. Two things that don't happen past the first couple months of life. That way we are encouraged to grow and become better people. In short, psychedelics make you into a more articulate, more caring and more thoughtful person. They'll make you a better person.

Unfortunately psychedelics won't heal a suicidal mind, but I have found that on my worst of days if I dose I will feel better that day and the next. Usually. I dosed yesterday and today I feel really bad... but i think I was triggered last night by a guy I know... other news... ya.

They're is a third class of psychedelic that also works on the psyche. Although in a completely different way. This class, called Entheogens, is a harsh mama. Well to be honest, it's just more intense in nature. If you're not an experienced psychonaut, do not attempt to ingest any of these. Best part about this class? They're generally legal to purchase in much of the world. You just have to purchase them off shaman websites, and promise not to use them for human consumption. These Entheogens range from generally harmless like Ayahuasca and Amanita Muscaria to evil ones like Datura Ferox and Aboga. If you're looking for a profound spiritual experience, you'll find it here. One Entheogen that is also classed as a tryptamine is 5-MeO-DMT, the world's strongest hallucinogen. It's also called "The Spirit Molecule" due to its ability to get u in contact with spirits and higher powers and higher planes. It's only about a ten minute experience but it's an experience that'll change your life forever.

Im posting this in suicide discussion because of this reason. Psychedelics can heal wounds and I know some people are having suicidal thoughts compared to a suicidal mind. There's nothing wrong with either, and their not better than each other. Both are valid and serious. A suicidal mind does not mend, and suicidal thoughts/tendencies/ideations can eventually be eased. Im not saying it's worth going through the process that may take some years to mend a tortured mind. What im saying is it's possible and this is one way to do it. On the other hand people with a suicidal mind like me can still find psychedelics useful and a much needed distraction to a very ugly existence. Even y'all with suicidal thoughts can use it for the same. Psychedelics don't discriminate. Trust me, I understand completely how dark it is in this world, but perhaps give yourself a welcome retreat. I know the pain in every one of you is real, and I support all of you in what you decide it best for you. You are all beautiful in your own ways. Im coming to my personal end, very very soon... I really enjoy you guys.

So ya. I can show anyone how to get psychedelics of any sort online or the dark web if you'd like. Ill never ask for any money or any personal info. Don't worry. I don't promote drug use, or especially abuse. Like anything, use psychedelics responsibly. They can be very harmful is misused or abused. Never use the same class of psychadelics 2 days in a row. And always remember the cardinal rule of tripping, positive places positive people positive atmosphere.

P.s. im not judging anybody. Everybody has their reason for being here, and every reason is valid. All I ask of anyone here is to not hurt each other. Be kind, understand one another and more yet, show support. You never know when just saying the right thing to someone could mean the difference between life and death for them. Trust in me I know a lot of people who've helped me simply by being there when I needed to talk... you guys know who you are. Thank you. Some don't know who I am, I still thank you. You all have hearts of gold. Put them to use here. Love y'all!

Here's a video about psychedelics and mental health I found interesting.

 
W

WornOutLife

マット
Mar 22, 2020
7,165
I agree. Tripping helps!
I had a great DMT experience some months ago! It felt as if I had found out all the mysteries of the universe lol.

Then, a few days later, I was suicidal as usual.
 
NodusTollens

NodusTollens

Nov 17, 2020
989
I haven't tripped in years, but I remember feeling detached from my body & then mentally it was suddenly like I was sitting in a room alone, having the full scope of why I don't deserve happiness explained to me by a "being" I couldn't see. & I was powerless to stop it. I cried uncontrollably for an hour. -_-

I want to CTB, though recently, I've been thinking about tripping at least once more.

I agree. Tripping helps!
I had a great DMT experience some months ago! It felt as if I had found out all the mysteries of the universe lol.

Then, a few days later, I was suicidal as usual.

That's the unfortunate part about it, returning to reality.
 
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Devils_candY

Devils_candY

Afraid of life... scared to sleep...
Oct 23, 2020
46
I haven't tripped in years, but I remember feeling detached from my body & then mentally it was suddenly like I was sitting in a room alone, having the full scope of why I don't deserve happiness explained to me by a "being" I couldn't see. & I was powerless to stop it. I cried uncontrollably for an hour. -_-

I want to CTB, though recently, I've been thinking about tripping at least once more.



That's the unfortunate part about it, returning to reality.
I'd you ever trip again look up the 6 S's for tripping. Set setting substance sitter session situation, and read guides on each substance and its benefits and risks. You could be good on mushrooms, a speedy euphoric visual kind of experience, very happy and profound. Or LSD the mac daddy. Asserting his dominance over you creating a control only you have half of. The day looks beautiful but the sun looks dangerous and all the people are staring at me... so ya, lok into it. Don't just wing it. You could easily take to much and end up in the hospital.
 
NodusTollens

NodusTollens

Nov 17, 2020
989
I'd you ever trip again look up the 6 S's for tripping. Set setting substance sitter session situation, and read guides on each substance and its benefits and risks. You could be good on mushrooms, a speedy euphoric visual kind of experience, very happy and profound. Or LSD the mac daddy. Asserting his dominance over you creating a control only you have half of. The day looks beautiful but the sun looks dangerous and all the people are staring at me... so ya, lok into it. Don't just wing it. You could easily take to much and end up in the hospital.
First off, full stop. You're assuming many things in your statement. Next time, phrase a question rather than assuming you know anything regarding my own experiences.

Second, that was nearly 10 years ago. But thanks for the advice, I'll get right on with taking a mind altering substance in my 30s, & acting like it couldn't possibly have a negative impact on me.
 
I

Intheo

Student
Jul 1, 2020
119
I used to be all about using psychedelics to treat the wounds of the soul.
After a life time of depression and suicidal thoughts, I went spiraling down hard (not the first nor the last) a few years back after I broke up with a toxic ex. After wandering around and not knowing where to go, I decided to go on a trip to the jungle and took mushrooms when a friend of mine told me how much it had helped her. I didn't know what to expect, but it was probably the most mind-blowing and life changing experience of my life.

Almost immediately, I was over my ex whom I was still broken up over after a couple years until this point. During the trip, suicidal thoughts came up but in a more detached way that I could observe. It was like my mind was showing me, "look, this shit is still here and you have to deal with it." Other issues such as my fear of people came up. It was overall a pretty unpleasant experience but in the aftermath of it, my mind became more clear, creative, and positive. My love of nature of reignited and I realized I had to travel more and be open to people. It was like all the baggage in my mind surfaced from the bottom of a murky river and I was cleaning it up. I still didn't know where to go, or what to do with my life, but I felt like there was something there beyond the physical reality we live in. A few weeks after, I could almost confidently declare I wasn't suicidal anymore.

I still had a lot of questions about life and existence I needed answering so I figured traveling more and going deeper into psychedelics and my own consciousness was the way, although probably not the ultimate answer (since nobody had that). I thought maybe by doing so I could find my path in life in finding meaning. I admit I had a bit of tunnel vision when it came to this.

Then, I made the mistake of trying to obtain some in my country where they are highly illegal. I didn't think it would be illegal since they are after all, just fungi that grows in nature. I got in a lot of trouble, spent a lot of legal fees, and came close to rotting in prison for several years. Along with all other life plans that were decimated by the virus, the experience broke me. While it wasn't a direct result of me taking these things, it played a part in ruining my life. It felt like the universe was telling me, "Fuck you. You can't be healed." Now I'm in the worst depressive spiral of my life and I constantly think about ending it because I don't know how to climb back from this.

I still believe psychedelics can help people, but for me personally, I have lost trust in it. With my current state, tripping might be too much for me anyway. It is a travesty that so-called democratic governments don't allow people to explore their own minds much less use these things that can help people.
 
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Devils_candY

Devils_candY

Afraid of life... scared to sleep...
Oct 23, 2020
46
First off, full stop. You're assuming many things in your statement. Next time, phrase a question rather than assuming you know anything regarding my own experiences.

Second, that was nearly 10 years ago. But thanks for the advice, I'll get right on with taking a mind altering substance in my 30s, & acting like it couldn't possibly have a negative impact on me.
I wasn't assuming anything. That wasn't a statement. It was a suggestion. I wouldn't tell you to take something you wouldn't be comfortable with. That'd be unfair and even cruel of me. This forum is for the opposite of that and im here to show care and support. Therefore I want you to know I support your decision. Im simply suggesting if you do take a substance again I have a suggestion. Heed the 6 S's and mind which substance you choose and why. I too am in my 30's and twice a week I take heroic doses while micro dosing the rest of the week. Psychedelics can teach you worlds about yourself and sometimes it's not pleasant, but it's healing. I know that better than most. So friend, I don't want you to do anything your not comfortable with. If psychadelics scare you, shy away from them. If you're curious about them, research them, or ask someone like me that knows their qualities. There are psychotherapists that practice psychadelic therapy, it's mostly underground, but it's fairly easy to find them. That's a really good way to try psychadelics since you have an experienced empathetic sitter and usually a beautiful setting. Once again though. I urge you, do as you feel comfortable. I wouldn't ask you to go against that. Especially here. Sorry if I came across wrong.
 
NodusTollens

NodusTollens

Nov 17, 2020
989
I wasn't assuming anything. That wasn't a statement. It was a suggestion. I wouldn't tell you to take something you wouldn't be comfortable with. That'd be unfair and even cruel of me. This forum is for the opposite of that and im here to show care and support. Therefore I want you to know I support your decision. Im simply suggesting if you do take a substance again I have a suggestion. Heed the 6 S's and mind which substance you choose and why. I too am in my 30's and twice a week I take heroic doses while micro dosing the rest of the week. Psychedelics can teach you worlds about yourself and sometimes it's not pleasant, but it's healing. I know that better than most. So friend, I don't want you to do anything your not comfortable with. If psychadelics scare you, shy away from them. If you're curious about them, research them, or ask someone like me that knows their qualities. There are psychotherapists that practice psychadelic therapy, it's mostly underground, but it's fairly easy to find them. That's a really good way to try psychadelics since you have an experienced empathetic sitter and usually a beautiful setting. Once again though. I urge you, do as you feel comfortable. I wouldn't ask you to go against that. Especially here. Sorry if I came across wrong.

Sure, but here's the thing, I didn't ask.

I just shared an anecdotal story about a portion of a trip, from one of the many times I did shrooms nearly 10 years ago. Since it was nearly 10 years ago, I don't fully remember all the trips I've had. That was simply the only one that would come to mind. So again, you still don't know/didn't ask about my history or what other things I have done. So you can imagine annoyance.

I simply said, I'm thinking about it bc I am. & I wanted you to know someone else agrees with the idea of microdosing psychedelics.
That was all.
 
Devils_candY

Devils_candY

Afraid of life... scared to sleep...
Oct 23, 2020
46
Love this, thank you. I like mdma but I wanna try more soon tbh
More power to you. Just remember to do your research with the stronger chemicals. Heed the 6 S's of tripping, and never abuse or misuse a psychadelic cause they'll bite back. I'm here if you have any questions.
Sure, but here's the thing, I didn't ask.

I just shared an anecdotal story about a portion of a trip, from one of the many times I did shrooms nearly 10 years ago. Since it was nearly 10 years ago, I don't fully remember all the trips I've had. That was simply the only one that would come to mind. So again, you still don't know/didn't ask about my history or what other things I have done. So you can imagine annoyance.

I simply said, I'm thinking about it bc I am. & I wanted you to know someone else agrees with the idea of microdosing psychedelics.
That was all.
Alright. Well enough said and well enough left alone. I apologize.
 
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CrazyMary

CrazyMary

Student
Sep 20, 2020
135
A word of advice, check with a shaman and or your doctor before taking them if you are on medication. I have taken several psychedelics before but never while taking meds. One time I almost did ayahuasca on antidepressants and I could have ended in the hospital. It is also important to start slow as some people might not be able to take big doses and it can screw your brain (Examples like musicians Syd Barret, Peter Green, Brian Wilson).
 
Devils_candY

Devils_candY

Afraid of life... scared to sleep...
Oct 23, 2020
46
Any chance you saw my DM?
Yes I did. Send me a regular message. It's easier for me to get back to you. Thanks. Much love!
☺️☺️☺️
 
W

watchingthewheels

Enlightened
Jan 23, 2021
1,416
So ya. I can show anyone how to get psychedelics of any sort online or the dark web if you'd like. Ill never ask for any money or any personal info. Don't worry. I don't promote drug use, or especially abuse. Like anything, use psychedelics responsibly. They can be very harmful is misused or abused. Never use the same class of psychadelics 2 days in a row. And always remember the cardinal rule of tripping, positive places positive people positive atmosphere.

Thanks for the suggestion. Another person here had recommended DMT or Ayahuasca to me for dealing with a personal trauma that had resurfaced, but I haven't done anything like that (LSD) in over 20 years, and would be at a lost to know where to begin. If you could point me in the right direction, that'd be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
 
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LifeQuitter2018

LifeQuitter2018

Wanderer
Aug 12, 2018
414
I wonder if anyone here has researched into the field of alchemy.

Alchemical substances are also promised to transform one's life, heal emotional and physical wounds. But unlike psychedelics, alchemical substances usually don't cause psychotic state and they're not illegal anywhere.
 
W

watchingthewheels

Enlightened
Jan 23, 2021
1,416
I wonder if anyone here has researched into the field of alchemy.

Alchemical substances are also promised to transform one's life, heal emotional and physical wounds. But unlike psychedelics, alchemical substances usually don't cause psychotic state and they're not illegal anywhere.
Paging Carl Jung...
 
T

TooConscious

Enlightened
Sep 16, 2020
1,144
I found psychedelics made me very empathetic but sad, hopeless, terrified you don't want to be aggressive but come back to this shit fuckin world where you have to be aggressive to not get tortured, raped and enslaved. Those of you who say "that's overexaggerated" have been born silver spooned and don't know the gutter.
Psychedelics make life seem fair in a completely unjust cruel existence.
 
I

Ihavenoclue

New Member
Jan 31, 2021
2
Psychedelics make life seem fair in a completely unjust cruel existence.
Absolutely. LSD showed me how vain life is. It completely took away my fear of ctb. I remember a special experience during which I finally felt at home. I felt completely reconciled with the decision to ctb. Only the last step would have been missing and it would have been perfect.
 

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