fkyou
...
- Oct 1, 2022
- 190
Why do we do this to ourself? Why am I procrastinating this and contemplating this sht despite taking the decision.for what?for what am I enduring these doses of emotional thoughtful pain، all im doing is harming myself even more, should've kept resisting and looking for recovery if this is all it came down to,why am I making such a big fkn deal out of it, people around the world killed and kill themselves for so much less than this,and I respect them for that, it's this kind of behavior that I hate, people who harm themselves intensionally, people who aren't gentle with themselves, all I've been trying to do this past days is try to keep as much peace in myself as possible so I can carry on with my "miserable" decision, so that my nerves don't pop from resentment,but then , healthy functional people with lives (family)(who don't know what pain you're mind is making inside)will come and shatter that with ease, what do they want to bring me back to ?hell of responsibilities that they don't plan to fix themselves?a life of poverty? A life to live with my traumatic brain that loves negativity so much, literally why am I enduring any bullshit life can afford? Do we really need to go all the way for what?at what expense? our selfes? But I thought that's what I'll be doing all of that for,I envy those who killed themselves so easily, that's how it's supposed to be done,no bs, even the happiest person alive is few decades from their death,at which point we say enough.since when life is to be lived despite anything.i never operated with such logic.
