Some people definitively decide they don't want to suffer anymore and just leave. I, on the other hand, keep waiting and allowing others to try and "help" me even though it's repeatedly a disappointment. I'm not really on the fence. I'm quite decided but I keep pushing it off and off. I'm afraid of disobeying those who are trying to "help" me I suppose. I feel guilty because they've put so much money towards my recovery. So I just keep pushing it off and off and off. Perhaps my day will come soon. Perhaps I can make peace with pushing it off for now too.
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