Venting Procrastinating my CTB

[Kodama]

As usual, I use to procrastinate for everything... even for CTB
Off course it's not only procrastination, it's also a question of false hope, guilt, fear etc...
Fucking trapped.

 

[issyishere]

I understand where you're coming from. I always make excuses and imagine what'll happen to my family once i'm gone.

 

[Wreck-it-Riley]

I have been putting off going to the doctor for the final peice of the puzzle. They will give me an antiemetic script if i ask to be put back on one i have tried before. all i need to do. but if i do, then its real real...

 

[Brick In The Wall]

With my other attempts there was alot of procrastination involved. Now I feel like it's just the false hope holding me back. I have half a month left to wait to see how things turn out.

Part of me feels like this is a pointless wait as I already have an idea of how it will go. I just hope that if and or when I get the bad news that nothing will hold me back any longer.

 

[Kodama]

With my other attempts there was alot of procrastination involved. Now I feel like it's just the false hope holding me back. I have half a month left to wait to see how things turn out.

Part of me feels like this is a pointless wait as I already have an idea of how it will go. I just hope that if and or when I get the bad news that nothing will hold me back any longer.

Same for me ...
facts 99,9%
Hope 0,01%
Waiting for the bad news but still hope for a last minute miracle.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

As usual, I use to procrastinate for everything... even for CTB
Off course it's not only procrastination, it's also a question of false hope, guilt, fear etc...
Fucking trapped.

Same … Also the fear of failing.

 

[noctiva]

With my other attempts there was alot of procrastination involved. Now I feel like it's just the false hope holding me back. I have half a month left to wait to see how things turn out.

Part of me feels like this is a pointless wait as I already have an idea of how it will go. I just hope that if and or when I get the bad news that nothing will hold me back any longer.

Exactly this. False hope is all I have left, and the idea it might be real and I might not see things clearly is unbearable. The wait is horrible and I'm scared to be found worthless and undesirable. And even more scared that I cannot end it.

 

[woxihuanni]

I don't even know what's keeping me from starting the meto right now. Nothing much. Because even if what I hang my hopes on happens, it is not kind to myself to live the fag end of this life of lack and humiliation.

 

[SuicidalSymphonies]

I'm waiting to let certain dates pass. It's really hard because I want to go now but I love my family, friends and animals so much.

 

[Nem]

Sorry to hear, It's a bit of a large decision but we're here for a reason mostly and putting off ctb has been a humongous mistake on my behalf
Peace/hugs