Help procrastinating ctb?

[catsandtraincars]

hi sasu!

i'm a long time lurker & finally made the jump to create an account when i ordered SN from DSL

originally when i ordered the SN, i assumed i would use the shipping time to "get things in order" so that way when it arrived i wouldn't have to wait anymore and could finally & quickly ctb…… lol

i have completely put off all the things i wanted to do/have in order and instead been wasting time. what's more, i don't even have a "plan". obviously i have my chosen method, but i haven't come up with my own protocol or chosen a date.

is anyone else in the same boat? i've wanted to ctb really really really badly for a really really really long time now & honestly finding a source for SN was a godsend and it's a huge comfort knowing it's coming. but i'm just not planning/prepping towards my death? i'm not cleaning my room, i've been debating writing letters, thinking about quitting my job, etc.

i keep asking myself if it really matters, i'm going to be gone, so really the only part that matters is planning the protocol, right? does anyone else feel like they have to "get things in order"? does it really matter?

idk! but wishing you all the best and hoping to talk and get to know the community some more:)

 

[knowledgeseeking]

I'm glad having it brings you comfort and that enough for now. Procrastinating CBT is perfectly ok as it is final and will always be around tomorrow, next week, next month. Don't pressure or rush yourself.

Enjoy the peace and don't anything till you're ready.

 

[Matchaaa]

i keep asking myself if it really matters, i'm going to be gone, so really the only part that matters is planning the protocol, right? does anyone else feel like they have to "get things in order"? does it really matter?

Hi, I'm like you, always wanting to arrange things perfectly before leaving. But actually, there's no need to rush. You can wait until you're truly at peace before making a decision. Because the CTB option always exists. I hope you can find peace.

 

[sanctionedusage]

im just fucking around so much. making yogurt n shit like i have all the time in the world.

 

[comeoutandhauntme]

i do the same thing. i haven't even ordered sn yet bc i just keep procrastinating it? partially out of fear of being caught but i think also bc then it makes it real. like oh yeah, i really do plan on dying. yk? not to mention i just procrastinate literally everything i do.

but like other ppl say, there's no rush. i hope we both one day no longer want to ctb, but the option is always there if we so choose. no need to hurry