Do you think your life and your outlook on life would improve if you didn't live with your overbearing, controlling parents?
I am sure there are many reasons for you to consider CTB but if anything could be done about your living situation I would try that first and see how that improves your wellbeing and happiness.
To answer your question:
SN is very difficult to get for people in SOME countries. The US still seems easy. UK sounds impossible, EU countries seem to be limiting imports. Canada should be fine, for the time being.
As so often: when legal sources disappear illegal scammers pop up and it becomes riskier to acquire the goods you want.
I can see you are new here so, hang around and have a look through all the posts and eventually, in a couple weeks, things may fall into place
