Story Probably my most brutal moment ever

[NoPointOfReturning]

When I was a freshman in high school, I was extrmely short. I'm not giving specifics but just know I was too short and shorter than most girls even. To accompany that, I had an awful buzz cut since my parents are strict and don't let me grow it out and I was overweight. I had a friend at the time, he was my closest one up to that point and we had known eachother for a decade.

This friend, he's very good looking to say the least. Think of a Dominican Republic pretty boy who was 6 foot and super charismatic, and he was only 15 too!!!

I had a crush on this girl, she was a few inches taller than me and hispanic. Very pretty. I didn't tell anyone because at that age I wasn't blackpilled, but I still knew deep down inside I was too ugly and short to even have a chance at being in her vicinity.

For months, I daydreamed about growing tall and becoming attractive by some miracle and being able to have a chance with her. That did not happen.

So I tell my friend I have a crush on her, and he tells me to go talk to her. He also told me they talk, but that they're just friends. I had a class with her where we sat near eachother so I decided to talk to her.

I just sat next to her and she looked at me and yelled, "EWWWWW!" everyone looked and started laughing at me. I walked back to my table where my classmates there were laughing at me too.

Im on the brink of tears and I have my head down for the rest of class, and eventually the bell rings for lunch. I go to a secluded area and start crying.

A few minutes pass and i'm still crying then some dickhead jock with his friends pass by me and start poking at me and calling me pizza face and crybaby and all sorts of stuff. They walk off laughing and pointing at me.

2 weeks later my friend told me that he's dating the girl I had a crush on (and that yelled ew at me) and that she gave him… uh…. oral stuff. He was bragging about it and acting as if I didn't tell him I liked her.

Full on brutality, after that my life went down in a spiral and I haven't recovered. I hate myself and no matter what I do, i'm still an ugly loser. I hate people who tell me to work on myself because I do all the time, i've lost so much weight and been on so much skin care and hair care and i'm still ugly. Shit society, shit people, and shit God for putting me in this position.

I think i'll end up catching the bus in a couple years if nothing changes. If you read this all, thank you.
The worst part is how no one feels remorse for you. No one ever asks how you feel, no one ever stops to think, "Hey, maybe we should stop bullying the loser kid right?"

No no no, because why would someone with superior genetics ever feel bad for a dead end like me? Why? It's just a burning memory now.

 

[ForgottenAgain]

That really is brutal...I'm so sorry you went through that, teenagers and kids can be incredibly cruel.

Your story reminded me of my boyfriend's. When he was around that age he also was advised to go talk to a girl he liked and she also replied in the same manner, legit said "EEWWW" loudly and then left. He never approached girls ever since.

My case is similar, I've never been attractive. When I was 14 a guy told me that I should accept making out with him (he had a girlfriend) because I was too ugly for anyone to want to date me and his offer would be the best thing I could aspire to have.

Those years were horrible. I hadn't met my boyfriend yet, we would only meet when I was around 22. We're both non conventionally attractive people. He is on the short side, overweight. I have an ugly back and face. It's a good thing we found each other, I hope you can find a nice person for you too. Really sorry about that incident, that's really bottom of the barrel shameful behaviour from those people.

 

[NoPointOfReturning]

That really is brutal...I'm so sorry you went through that, teenagers and kids can be incredibly cruel.

Your story reminded me of my boyfriend's. When he was around that age he also was advised to go talk to a girl he liked and she also replied in the same manner, legit said "EEWWW" loudly and then left. He never approached girls ever since.

My case is similar, I've never been attractive. When I was 14 a guy told me that I should accept making out with him (he had a girlfriend) because I was too ugly for anyone to want to date me and his offer would be the best thing I could aspire to have.

Those years were horrible. I hadn't met my boyfriend yet, we would only meet when I was around 22. We're both non conventionally attractive people. He is on the short side, overweight. I have an ugly back and face. It's a good thing we found each other, I hope you can find a nice person for you too. Really sorry about that incident, that's really bottom of the barrel shameful behaviour from those people.

Thank you for the great response. Unfortunately looks are valued too much so if you're a complete genetic dead end like me, there's not much to do. I do believe msot people can get a significant other, like you even have a boyfriend and stuff despite believing you aren't the most attractive person ever. The problem is, for the complete failures at the end of the tunnel like me and other short ugly people, we don't have a choice. A lot of us don't have any clarity and if the people knew what words could do to a human being they wouldn't be invested in talking down on another human. It doesn't matter though, because some of us weren't meant for a life of joy and sunshine and instead we were meant for a life of fear and devilish red all around us. It is what it is at the end of the day.

 

[Hvergelmir]

No matter how you look, there's a big likelihood that your perception is skewed by past experiences.
You presumably were an ugly teenager, but since then you've both aged and worked on yourself. You're no longer in your mid teens, and you've dropped weight. Alongside that, parts of your brain have matured. Have you updated your perception of yourself since that incident?

Forcing teenagers into a school creates a very artificial and cruel environment. It's not representative of adult life.

...some of us weren't meant for...

That's just a fallacy. You're not meant for anything. As an autonomous adult you choose your own meaning.
You can be lucky or unlucky, in an advantageous position, or at a disadvantage, but the meaning - what you choose to do with it, is up to you.
Consider the means at your disposal, but spiraling into "I'm not meant for..." is just destructive. "What would be required of you?" "Are you willing to do it?", are better questions.

If you truly want a girlfriend you need to talk to girls. Dating sites could be one rather direct and very accessible vector.
It's going to suck big time, and you'll be repeatedly reminded about the past. It might be too hard in your current state, but it is one of several valid answer to what would be required of you.

Even for things like your length; there are procedures to make people taller. Knowing that is can be done, you can ask yourself what would be required, and if it's something you're willing to do.
Cosmetic surgery is quite popular. It's in no way a recommendation, but another example of how seemingly unchangeable things, can be changed if one so chooses.

 

[piddincir]

I am sorry to read that my friend . That really is brutal.

Things like that happening when you're in such a young and insecure place leave lasting marks on how you view yourself.

I had terrible acne when I was younger , a lot of people teased me for it - it really affected my self worth and I always felt ugly. I ended up sitting next to a girl I had a crush on as well. We became friends and hooked up at a party when I was 16. Then a few times more. I asked her out and she said she wouldn't date someone like me . I felt like I had fallen in love with her and it really fucked me up.

It took me a long time to recover from this. I would have women clearly hitting on me during my later school years and at university but I would always convince myself that they weren't flirting with me or that I wasn't worthy so I feel your pain.objectively I am not a bad looking guy but I could never see it in myself

There was one girl I hooked up with at uni and again she was a friend. A few weeks later she ended up with my best mate

Too much Importance is placed on looks these days, I blame social media and all the airbrushed pictures that purvey what beauty should be .

Truth is and a bit cliche , beauty is skin deep . Personality i think anyway is a far more important trait to have. Just being a nice guy with a good heart goes a long way.

My wife was very beautiful , she was definitely out my league when we started dating . I couldn't believe someone like her would like me - (she actually felt the same about me as I was just a nice guy and she had dated some terrible men).

But it was not her beauty I fell in love with (sure that was a bonus), it was everything else about her that made me fall in love with her. I wouldn't have cared what she looked like I loved her.

Keep the faith brother