I have grown up in a family and environment where man is expected to die slowly from old age. Nothing else is accepted. I am expected to be tormented to death by old age in any event: chronic pain, chronic illness, chronic disability, poverty and homelessness. It is taboo to talk about death and suicide. It seems that these people want to live forever. Anyway, they are in denial of death. There are people who want to have dementia and they want to end up in wheelchair in nursing home. I think that they don´t understand that the last decades in life are a long death process or they are just afraid of death. If a man dies of disease at the age of sixty-nine, they say "What a shame that he didn´t even get to live seventy years." It is not easy to die by suicide in this environment but I think that I am also unlucky for these relatives are mean, old and unable to want to understand new things. How can people procreate when they don´t want people to die - I have to die because I was born.