Zanexx
Dead
- Jul 15, 2018
- 189
The police are here now. My friend called them, so we probably aren't friends anymore. It seems like I'm not going to be sectioned but they're making me talk to a crisis team. Still hoping to ctb in two days.
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Zanexx
Dead
- Jul 15, 2018
- 189
I feel extremely betrayed by my friend. Luckily all my gear is intact.
Friends betray us a lot. I was so many times that I don't want to remember it.
I also know how it feels, sorry of hear this situation, it sucks.
RoloTomasi
Specialist
- Jul 21, 2018
- 319
This is why we don't tell our friends that we are actually gonna do it. Good thing you hid your gear well, all is well.
Been through this before. It's why I a recommend a safe for everyone. So sorry this happened to you!
Empty Smile
The final Bell has rung. Goodbye to all.
- Jul 13, 2018
- 1,785
Xmac000
Somewhere...
- May 23, 2018
- 102
Over n' Out
△△△△△△△△△△△△
- Aug 5, 2018
- 196
'Loose lips sink ships'
is an American English idiom meaning "beware of unguarded talk". The phrase originated on propaganda posters during World War II
is an American English idiom meaning "beware of unguarded talk". The phrase originated on propaganda posters during World War II
I also learned the hard way that with this sort of stuff you can't really trust anyone unless they 100% understand it already.
You're lucky you weren't imprisoned, but those crisis teams don't mess around:
You're lucky you weren't imprisoned, but those crisis teams don't mess around:
Zanexx
Dead
- Jul 15, 2018
- 189
Hey guys, just to update you. The police left on the condition I visit the mental health team today which I agreed to, although I still intend to leave Friday morning and just try to remain undetected until then and be vague with the mental health team.
I realise it was a bad idea to be so open, but since I'm autistic I find it extremely hard to be dishonest/not share things openly.
I also trusted the couple of people I told completely and assumed it would be okay since I had attempted before with their knowledge and the police weren't called. Initially, which the friend who called them, I had been trying to stealth, but he was figuring me out anyway so in the end I was just honest. I'm now staying somewhere different for the next two days.
As for my gear - what they saw was a rope covered in bits of tree, a collapsible stool, a tent for CO and two flashlights. They didn't see my other rope, charcoal bucket stove, charcoal, chimney starter and other stuff. Surprisingly they left it all intact their first visit while I wasn't there and as soon as I got back I hid the charcoal etc. I'd just bought and retrieved everything else. Somehow avoided two police officers intercepting me at the station.
The worst thing for me is the police spoke to my mother after my friend contacted her, even though I'm nearly 25, when I've been trying not to be in contact with her for various reasons and didn't want her to know of my whereabouts.
I realise it was a bad idea to be so open, but since I'm autistic I find it extremely hard to be dishonest/not share things openly.
I also trusted the couple of people I told completely and assumed it would be okay since I had attempted before with their knowledge and the police weren't called. Initially, which the friend who called them, I had been trying to stealth, but he was figuring me out anyway so in the end I was just honest. I'm now staying somewhere different for the next two days.
As for my gear - what they saw was a rope covered in bits of tree, a collapsible stool, a tent for CO and two flashlights. They didn't see my other rope, charcoal bucket stove, charcoal, chimney starter and other stuff. Surprisingly they left it all intact their first visit while I wasn't there and as soon as I got back I hid the charcoal etc. I'd just bought and retrieved everything else. Somehow avoided two police officers intercepting me at the station.
The worst thing for me is the police spoke to my mother after my friend contacted her, even though I'm nearly 25, when I've been trying not to be in contact with her for various reasons and didn't want her to know of my whereabouts.
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Zanexx
Dead
- Jul 15, 2018
- 189
Any advice for the (NHS) crisis team? I'm seeing them in two hours.I also learned the hard way that with this sort of stuff you can't really trust anyone unless they 100% understand it already.
You're lucky you weren't imprisoned, but those crisis teams don't mess around:
I'm feeling even worse now especially given my friend raised the alarm to my mother, who has now told everyone, so I woke up to harassment and have now had to block calls.
Being in Australia I haven't dealt with the UK NHS myself (just felt like posting a pic of the crisis battlesuit), but if they're like any other "mental health" team you'll need to play along and pretend that it was just a passing cloud and that you're "getting better".
Given that they're a crisis team you'll need to remain calm and collected, perhaps with some remorse. Watch your words and body language. They don't want someone dying on their watch and getting penalized after all. Agree to future appointments and attend them until you ctb, that in itself should dispel quite a bit of the suspicion.
I know it's a bit late to say now but you really, really have to be careful who you talk to about this sort of stuff if you value your freedom.
Zanexx
Dead
- Jul 15, 2018
- 189
Getting better since last night? It feels sort of improbable that I would begin recovery so rapidly. With the police last night, I was calm and collected, smiled and made jokes with them and had a level voice.
Remorse for what? Wanting to ctb? I feel like there's a limit to pretending. I was planning to agree to any appointments they suggested at least.
I told the crisis team person I spoke to on the phone via the police that I began having suicidal ideation at age 6 or 7 (she asked) so I'm not sure it being a "passing cloud" would fly, although I guess I could say it goes up and down a lot and I'm feeling less suicidal than yesterday.
Apologies, I should've noticed you only started the thread today. As for "getting better" I meant that you were feeling better.
Given what you've already told them and your friends just pretend to cooperate and agree to the appointments.
Zanexx
Dead
- Jul 15, 2018
- 189
Hopefully the fact that I actually have all the stuff got lost in translation so I'll try and play it down depending on what they seem to know. I'll admit to hanging attempts but say I'm not sure I want to do that anymore (true) and probably say that I wasn't really sure how to do CO/couldn't find the stuff or something like that.
Looking back on my NHS response it was ridiculously verbose when really all that needed to be said was to pretend to cooperate.
Sounds like you're doing what you can to contain the damage. I'll just add that you might have to turn in your materials that they know about if they insist on it.
Sounds like you're doing what you can to contain the damage. I'll just add that you might have to turn in your materials that they know about if they insist on it.
Zanexx
Dead
- Jul 15, 2018
- 189
That would suck given all the money I've spent. Luckily though, the materials they saw evidence of are either no longer needed, cheap or easily replaceable: they didn't see my grill etc. and it's hidden so they can't *prove* I have it.
Zanexx
Dead
- Jul 15, 2018
- 189
The most annoying thing the police said is that they wanted to make sure I didn't do anything "silly". Like, how insulting. Constructing a properly made CO bus takes being pretty level-headed.
Zanexx
Dead
- Jul 15, 2018
- 189
You shouldn't kill yourself because life is beautiful!! = I know you're telling me you absolutely hate this TV show and don't want to watch it, but I think it's a good TV show therefore that is an objective fact and you should be forcibly made to watch it! So I'm going to strap you down and pin your eyes open a la A Clockwork Orange
Zanexx
Dead
- Jul 15, 2018
- 189
Some people get married and do it impulsively or for the wrong reasons = absolutely anyone who chooses to get married no matter how long they've been together or how much consideration they've given it is being impulsive and stupid = pro-life logic
Goddamn that was a disturbing movie.
And we're supposedly in the "information" era of science and reason ^.^
Zanexx
Dead
- Jul 15, 2018
- 189
Update: Convinced the crisis team I'm not imminently suicidal! Still going to make the bus if I'm lucky.
Thank god you weren't sectioned. I'm in the UK, a similar age and was locked up last week. Its such a shit place.
I would be so pissed at the friend if I were you but you really can't blame them. People will always do what they have to in order to stop you. Annoying, but natural and just means they care. To be successful it's best to not give any details to anyone now, and not cause any suspicion, as I'm sure you know.
Out of curiosity, are they allowed to confiscate the rope, or tent? I've also been trying to limit contact with any family but my mother was informed of what happened and my whereabouts. It's very frustrating having people aware and get involved. But this has been a good wake up call for me teaching what it takes for a successful attempt as I'm sure it has for you. Good luck.
Zanexx
Dead
- Jul 15, 2018
- 189
I don't know if they "can" confiscate stuff but all of mine is still intact.
To my mind, that would be stealing to take legal possessions from someone who is rational and lucid. Owning rope and a BBQ is not illegal. Let me have my BBQ ffs.
How long were you locked up for and how did get out? Just in case I get "saved".
Also, I know most people are instinctively compelled to prevent suicide especially by those they're attached to, but it still makes me feel betrayed and angry. To me it is selfish, even if it's a selfishness they can't help. The friend who ratted me out used to have a cat until she died earlier in the year. The cat was old, blind, deaf, in pain and struggling to eat for years, but he refused to take her to the vet's and have her put down because he was attached to her. To me it feels like he is operating in the same way again. It's different in that my chronic problems aren't physical and I'm not asking him to actually take me somewhere to be euthanised or have any role in it, but his psychology seems to be the same in both cases.
FairyAlys
Member
- Aug 7, 2018
- 57
I'm sorry that this has happened. I can only reiterate what others have written..... don't tell ANYONE.....
That's why this site is so good.... you can speak and have support without fear.
I hope that you can sort things out
That's why this site is so good.... you can speak and have support without fear.
I hope that you can sort things out
I'm still locked up, it's supposedly a maximum of 28 days. But I would advise you to not even consider getting caught, and have a careful plan that is near impossible for this to happen. Sounds obvious, but you really don't want to end up here.
I see what you're saying about keeping people alive, and it definitely is selfish. On the other hand they will say that suicide is selfish because you cause them pain (lol). There will always be a disconnect in perspectives between us and non suicidal people, so practically speaking I guess all we can do it get on with it without their permission or seek 'help'.
Edit: just read that you're being held. Fuck. Just gotta do your time now. By the way the people at this early stage will lie to you and dig for information that all feeds back into your assessment. Do not tell anyone anything 'bad', I saw a post a minute ago about mentioning positive future plans in life etc. This is also good advice.
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Zanexx
Dead
- Jul 15, 2018
- 189
You're on section 2 right? Read my new thread: I got out!
Obviously the last thing I would want is to get caught, but what I meant is I would have to enact the CO method in a tent that was in public place (out of the way, but public none-the-less since I don't have private space I can use) so if I survive several hours of exposure people could get suspicious/start looking for me, pull me out, then put me inside. That's what I was trying to allow for.
