Story Pretending to be someone else

[airboy_a380]

Hello everyone I'm so depressed and lonely, that lately I started a very bad habit just to feel normal. I go on dating apps and use a photo that isn't mine, catfish style, the photos I use are from beautiful people, and it's amazing the attention I get, I chat with normal happy people all day. That might sound sick I know, but somehow it makes my day go faster since I have nothing left to do anymore. Then of course the person wanna FaceTime or see me live and I have to block them. I wish I was normal, needless to say I feel like I'm an imposter after I'm done, but if I use my own photo no one talks to me. I'm in my 40s and in gay life that means you won't find anyone, even guys my age just want young guys, not me, I would gladly sate someone my age.
i dunno why gay people celebrate gay pride, that's no pride in being gay, 90% of us end up alone and depressed. I wish I was straight, I'm 40 and still good looking, any woman would want me. But gay men? My age? They want kids in their 20s, it's really sad. I have promised myself that I won't be a cat fish anymore, but I won't go to any dating apps either. If someone know any good website where people actually wanna find a partner lemme know. That would help me a lot to recover. All this solitude is the reason I wanna CTB. You mix solitude with depression and it's a loud bang.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

i dunno why gay people celebrate gay pride, that's no pride in being gay, 90% of us end up alone and depressed.

I feel this so strongly. (I'm gay and 37.) It took me forever to understand gay pride. Even now, it bothers me at times that I'm gay. Like, why me? Why did I have to endure this extra complication in my life that has led to so much unhappiness?

I do think the younger gay generation has a different experience, though, which is encouraging.

 

[Sarahlynn]

Have you tried meeting up at gay bars? Maybe it could be easier in person, especially if you are interested in a quick hookup. But these could always lead to more. Dating apps are difficult unless you are young and gorgeous unfortunately. It is of course very dependent on the environment where you live, but from my observations (though as a hetero female), gay guys seems to have a lot higher success rate of picking someone up compared to straight guys, even in their 40's. I find the gay scene more open and accepting than normal bars. Sorry if it sounds like I am dismissing your problems, that is not my intention. I guess it is an attempt to provide some hope.

Please try your best to stop the catfishing behaviour. I have been ghosted a lot in my life, and it is a horrible feeling when you think you are connecting with someone, and then they vanish and/or turned out to be liars. I know you are suffering, but this will also make others suffer.

Completely off topic: I hate that the 380s are no longer produced. I love them. That both the 380 and the 747 are going out of production is so sad.

 

[airboy_a380]

I feel this so strongly. (I'm gay and 37.) It took me forever to understand gay pride. Even now, it bothers me at times that I'm gay. Like, why me? Why did I have to endure this extra complication in my life that has led to so much unhappiness?

I do think the younger gay generation has a different experience, though, which is encouraging.

The younger generation is worse, all they want is fuck and go, no strings attached, so I don't see any hope there. Being gay is a curse. I always have beautiful women hitting on me. Wish I could be straight, life would be so much better.

Have you tried meeting up at gay bars? Maybe it could be easier in person, especially if you are interested in a quick hookup. But these could always lead to more. Dating apps are difficult unless you are young and gorgeous unfortunately. It is of course very dependent on the environment where you live, but from my observations (though as a hetero female), gay guys seems to have a lot higher success rate of picking someone up compared to straight guys, even in their 40's. I find the gay scene more open and accepting than normal bars. Sorry if it sounds like I am dismissing your problems, that is not my intention. I guess it is an attempt to provide some hope.

Please try your best to stop the catfishing behaviour. I have been ghosted a lot in my life, and it is a horrible feeling when you think you are connecting with someone, and then they vanish and/or turned out to be liars. I know you are suffering, but this will also make others suffer.

Completely off topic: I hate that the 380s are no longer produced. I love them. That both the 380 and the 747 are going out of production is so sad.

Yeah I love the 380s, I used to work on them. Beautiful birds. Regarding gay bars, they're filthy and just for hookups. I'm 40 I wouldnt feel comfortable in a gay bar now. Regarding the apps, I'm not ugly, people say I'm very handsome, oh well women do, however I'm very manly, and of course look like a man, don't have a baby face like most gay guys are looking for. what you said about the suicide rate among gay guys I believe you. Cause most of us end up alone. Wish I could love women, have kids. But I just can't, or would be living a lie. I won't go to those apps anymore. Not even as myself. Cause not getting a simple message makes me even more depressed.

 

[BehindTheWall]

Date apps are useless. Most of people are looking for nothing on it. They just create an account because they're bored and it distract them. I would recommend you to go in a gay bar, or at least a LGBT friendly bar and meet people like you.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

The younger generation is worse, all they want is fuck and go, no strings attached, so I don't see any hope there. Being gay is a curse. I always have beautiful women hitting on me. Wish I could be straight, life would be so much better.

I think the younger generation has an easier time with their sexuality. They've grown up in an environment where it is mostly acceptable. They've grown up in an age where gay couples are normalized in media and gay marriage is legal. I believe that a major reason for the relationship, self-esteem, and self-acceptance issues in older generations is the stigmatization and ostracization those generations faced.

I'm not sure I agree that the younger generation is "fuck and go." I think they enjoy sex (most young people, regardless of their sexuality do) and I think they feel free and liberated regarding sex. In any case, my comment about hope for them is that I believe they have grown up in a world where the trials we continue to face because of early experiences in our lives will not plague them as much as they have plagued us.

 

[airboy_a380]

I think the younger generation has an easier time with their sexuality. They've grown up in an environment where it is mostly acceptable. They've grown up in an age where gay couples are normalized in media and gay marriage is legal. I believe that a major reason for the relationship, self-esteem, and self-acceptance issues in older generations is the stigmatization and ostracization those generations faced.

I'm not sure I agree that the younger generation is "fuck and go." I think they enjoy sex (most young people, regardless of their sexuality do) and I think they feel free and liberated regarding sex. In any case, my comment about hope for them is that I believe they have grown up in a world where the trials we continue to face because of early experiences in our lives will not plague them as much as they have plagued us.

Yeah guess you re right, but it still upsets me that gay guys around our age are looking for 19 year old boys. That's so sick.