Venting Pretending is exhausting

[Ash]

I know there's a million threads like this a week but the keyword is in the title. I've just spent a few minutes chatting to a neighbour about the usual thing you chat about on a sunny Saturday in May when you're both middle aged and are interested in gardening etc and while it doesn't help that I'm anaemic, and had a difficult day and self-harmed yesterday, and slept badly last night, I've just sat down with a mug of tea and the juxtaposition between what's going on in my head now I'm alone and who I pretended to be when I was with her is as far apart as me and the people who lived in my area in the Iron Age. Pretending that everything's normal, that I don't have a massive dressing on my wrist and more on my arms is so draining but I can't stop myself. I'm all big smiles and jokes and witty observations and tips about tricky plants and pesky pests. I'm the ultimate facepalm emoji.

 

[damyon]

I can understand you. Maintaining a mask can be tiring.

Fortunately, this place allows you to be yourself, and it allows you to connect with people without the need to keep up the facade.

Take care.

 

[iloverachel]

I understand. I don't really vent about how I feel to most people I encounter, whether it be co workers or the cashier. I feel this is one of the only places I can truly express how I feel without being judged in a bad way which is why i appreciate this forum so much

 

[Ash]

Cheers to that. *raises mug of tea*

 

[AsTheWorldCaves]

The worst bits are when they want to talk about things in the future, things you know you won't be around to see, and you just have to play along.

 

[Mi Mi]

I know there's a million threads like this a week but the keyword is in the title. I've just spent a few minutes chatting to a neighbour about the usual thing you chat about on a sunny Saturday in May when you're both middle aged and are interested in gardening etc and while it doesn't help that I'm anaemic, and had a difficult day and self-harmed yesterday, and slept badly last night, I've just sat down with a mug of tea and the juxtaposition between what's going on in my head now I'm alone and who I pretended to be when I was with her is as far apart as me and the people who lived in my area in the Iron Age. Pretending that everything's normal, that I don't have a massive dressing on my wrist and more on my arms is so draining but I can't stop myself. I'm all big smiles and jokes and witty observations and tips about tricky plants and pesky pests. I'm the ultimate facepalm emoji.

Sheesh
I just was thinking this
Every time I think of something I find a post that relates
Others see me as a nice woman
Who always smells good
Nice smile
Big matching glasses
But as soon as I get in the car to go home
I just go blank...zombie like

 

[fleetingnight]

I know what you mean. It really wears a person down. I don't think you ever have a reason to feel bad for saying something that's been said before. We wouldn't read these if we didn't want to hear other people's thoughts, honestly this site probably wouldn't exist if no one wanted to, so try not to worry about that<3

 

[Ash]

The worst bits are when they want to talk about things in the future, things you know you won't be around to see, and you just have to play along.

Oh yeah!