Discussion Preparing social suicide before actual suicide?

[nothingtogain]

I'm wondering the best possible way to start avoiding contact with all my loved ones. I want to drift away from everyone before actually going through with it. It seems like it'd be a service to all of them because if I'm just a memory I don't think my death would affect them as much. It's mostly about friends, I don't really communicate much with my family and I don't really feel valued by them to begin with. My mind specifically goes to one of my friends who considers me their favorite person, we call nightly and I just don't wanna make it so that they'd be expecting a call and then not get one because I'd no longer be here. I don't plan to leave a note or message because I don't wanna get talked out of it or be found annoying/seem disingenuous about actually committing suicide so they'd unable to know until word got out.

 

[Happy Cat]

Why don't you just delete your accounts?

 

[Kokonoe]

best way to commit social suicide is self-isolation.

block everyone you want to avoid on the places you talk to them the most. block and/or delete their phone numbers. and then don't look back.
with time they will move on, find new people, and you will no longer be a part of their life.
i think doing it this way is really hard though, at least in my experience, because isolation can *really* hurt, especially if you're not used to it, so 100-0 social contact might be difficult. and obviously suddenly being blocked might alarm and/or hurt your loved ones.

other way to go about it is to start phasing yourself out of their lives. as an example, you have a friend you call nightly. start calling them every other night instead. then maybe once a week. so on and so forth. accept invites to hang out with friends less. etc etc etc. eventually everyone will move on and phase you out of their life, too.
this option could still be rough for different reasons but it's definitely less drastic. so if for whatever reason you change your mind about committing social suicide or even physical suicide, you have a bit of a buffer to not cause too much damage and be able to repair things.

i know those things seem obvious but i hope it's still helpful. i have a lot of experience with these sorts of things and isolation in general, so if you want to talk about any of this more i'll be here.

 

[Lov3]

best way to commit social suicide is self-isolation.

block everyone you want to avoid on the places you talk to them the most. block and/or delete their phone numbers. and then don't look back.
with time they will move on, find new people, and you will no longer be a part of their life.
i think doing it this way is really hard though, at least in my experience, because isolation can *really* hurt, especially if you're not used to it, so 100-0 social contact might be difficult. and obviously suddenly being blocked might alarm and/or hurt your loved ones.

other way to go about it is to start phasing yourself out of their lives. as an example, you have a friend you call nightly. start calling them every other night instead. then maybe once a week. so on and so forth. accept invites to hang out with friends less. etc etc etc. eventually everyone will move on and phase you out of their life, too.
this option could still be rough for different reasons but it's definitely less drastic. so if for whatever reason you change your mind about committing social suicide or even physical suicide, you have a bit of a buffer to not cause too much damage and be able to repair things.

i know those things seem obvious but i hope it's still helpful. i have a lot of experience with these sorts of things and isolation in general, so if you want to talk about any of this more i'll be here.

I had tried several things and even made a post, but you put it into words perfectly.

 

[Exhausted546]

I'm wondering the best possible way to start avoiding contact with all my loved ones. I want to drift away from everyone before actually going through with it. It seems like it'd be a service to all of them because if I'm just a memory I don't think my death would affect them as much. It's mostly about friends, I don't really communicate much with my family and I don't really feel valued by them to begin with. My mind specifically goes to one of my friends who considers me their favorite person, we call nightly and I just don't wanna make it so that they'd be expecting a call and then not get one because I'd no longer be here. I don't plan to leave a note or message because I don't wanna get talked out of it or be found annoying/seem disingenuous about actually committing suicide so they'd unable to know until word got out.

That could work but it could backfire too : I tried that but then an intervention was staged ,mistakenly confessed to dark thoughts and got sent to the psych ward. Now the dynamics got worse and colder

Now I'm just pretending to be fine, I'll just ctb "out of the blue"

 

[SufferingDev]

Sadly - from what I think is a best way is to make everyone hate you - that's the path Ill be taking.

1. This helps with SI - it tries it best to recover you, but if there is nothing left - for me, the only way to CTB is to close all doors behind. Nobody to go to.
2. (I think) It will make them suffer less. I want my friends/family/loved ones to hate me - so they won't cry when I perish.

 

[ropeburns&migranes]

I'm wondering the best possible way to start avoiding contact with all my loved ones. I want to drift away from everyone before actually going through with it. It seems like it'd be a service to all of them because if I'm just a memory I don't think my death would affect them as much. It's mostly about friends, I don't really communicate much with my family and I don't really feel valued by them to begin with. My mind specifically goes to one of my friends who considers me their favorite person, we call nightly and I just don't wanna make it so that they'd be expecting a call and then not get one because I'd no longer be here. I don't plan to leave a note or message because I don't wanna get talked out of it or be found annoying/seem disingenuous about actually committing suicide so they'd unable to know until word got out.

Unless you have a 99% chance of your attempt being successful I wouldn't advise committing social suicide first. First reason, in case you do survive you'll have people to take care of you and what not (until your next attempt, if you want to try again). Second reason, it can alert those that are more attentive like one other person said here, and they'll try to stop you, stage an intervention, put you in a mental hospital, etc.

If you still want to commit social suicide I wouldn't go to out right blocking people. On some platforms it'll indicate that they've been blocked and they might try to seek you out in person to question you.

Instead this is what I'd do. If you can turn on 'read receipts', mute everyone, turn off notifications, and or delete social media that you communicate on from your devices (not to be confused with deleting your accounts). By turning on 'read receipts' then preventing yourself from seeing sent messages you'll have plausible deniability. If anyone were to question in person about what's going on you can just say you didn't see their messages.

Next step would be preventing them from seeing you in person in the first place. Although this can be difficult to do because sometimes you can run into people randomly, avoiding places with lots of people will be your best bet if possible.

 

[aRose]

I used to call my Auntie almost like 3-5 times a week. Now I just wait until she sends me the "you ok?" text and have a brief conversation about nothing.
IME you'll notice real quick how you've always been the one reaching out, not them.

 

[metfan647]

For me the order will be:

1. Career suicide - currently in the process.
2. Social suicide (relationship + family)
3. Suicide

 

[nothingtogain]

Why don't you just delete your accounts?

It'd probably arouse suspicion. I don't want that kind of attention.

 

[Forveleth]

I'm wondering the best possible way to start avoiding contact with all my loved ones. I want to drift away from everyone before actually going through with it. It seems like it'd be a service to all of them because if I'm just a memory I don't think my death would affect them as much.

People make threads on this topic all the time. You have to remember that people can mourn you even if you are not dead. Loved ones can miss talking to you or seeing you if you are still alive but have not contacted them in a while. Also, if they find out that you killed yourself, they may feel even worse for not seeing the signs of you pulling away.