Venting precancer diagnosis at 21

[su1c1dal-dungeon]

hey all.

i just found out yesterday morning that i have precancerous cells forming/growing in my stomach. ive been trying to think about how i feel about this but ive mostly just gone numb.

my anxiety has never been so high and my stress is off the charts. i know these feelings are only making my body weaker but its so hard to think of anything else.

im putting this in the suicide discussion board because its just another reason for me to ctb. im just thinking about all the times i wanted to ctb/tried and knowing that i wouldnt be dealing with this right now if i had committed/it had worked.

im 21 ffs. ive never felt so alone.
this diagnosis isnt upsetting in the fact that i may develop cancer, i actually dont feel anything. youd think it would give me a positive outlook like "wow live life while you can" but in reality, its just another reminder of why life sucks.

anyway. guess i just needed somewhere to write all that down.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I didn't develop anything related to cancer, but also at 21 I developed a mysterious ailment out of the blue that was the worst thing that I ever could imagine.

It's understandable that this news has only added to your weariness.

What do the doctors recommend as possible treatment? Just monitoring for now?

 

[Innereye]

I have so much sympathy for you. if you ever need to talk send me a PM. My health is in the gutter and is basically the sole source of my miserable state, I can share how ive coped if you want.

Cheers mate wish you the best.

 

[su1c1dal-dungeon]

I didn't develop anything related to cancer, but also at 21 I developed a mysterious ailment out of the blue that was the worst thing that I ever could imagine.

It's understandable that this news has only added to your weariness.

What do the doctors recommend as possible treatment? Just monitoring for now?

i haven't gotten a full reply from my doctor yet but monitoring is probably the way it'll go. the radio silence is also pretty anxiety inducing lmfao. they sent me the results but havent talked them through with me - pretty stupid

 

[LaVieEnRose]

i haven't gotten a full reply from my doctor yet but monitoring is probably the way it'll go. the radio silence is also pretty anxiety inducing lmfao. they sent me the results but havent talked them through with me - pretty stupid

Yes I can imagine it is pretty stressful. Do you have any support from people in your life?