ferrie
she/they
- May 19, 2024
- 425
An awkward post to make, especially since I'm not entirely sure where I went wrong, but I figured I'd share this information while I reassess. This morning I attempted using 22g of potassium nitrite. Obviously I survived the attempt. I know it may seem odd that I'm not in the hospital or anything, but honestly I don't think medical intervention is necessary & I wasn't caught. My first thought is that maybe my scale isn't calibrated correctly, so I might have taken a smaller dose than intended. I also puked a little over ten minutes after ingestion which should theoretically be enough time for a sufficient amount to enter the bloodstream, but this is where the science gets more speculative than measurable. I was not able to ingest a second dose. I was able to text someone throughout the entire process, so I'm referencing those messages so I don't forget any symptoms. For the first ten minutes, my only complaints were tachycardia pounding in my ears, burning in my chest that was just heat not pain, and tingling hands. I was able to make it to bed across the house after ingestion. The heat in my chest began to build & I knew I needed to vomit. Stomach acid came up, not just phlegm, so I know I lost at least some of the salt. Stupidly, I got up to vomit in the bathroom instead of having a bucket with me, and on the way back to bed I blacked out & had a seizure. I have a lot of chronic health problems & have had focal seizures before, so my experience may not be normal. I will say though that I didn't feel anything during the seizure. I wasn't aware I was having one until it was over, and I hit the bedframe with the back of my head & middle of my back but didn't feel the bruising/pain until hours later. After the seizure I felt pretty normal again. There was slight tachycardia, slight burning in my abdomen & hands, and I felt really hot. I had prepared an ice pack to already be in the bed with me, so that helped a lot. I also had a slightly worse headache than normal, but I've had a headache 24/7 for 8 years so another symptom to take with a grain of salt. Other than that, I wouldn't say that I felt any pain during the process. I stayed awake for an hour after ingestion before giving up & taking a nap for another hour. It's now been 5 hours since I woke up. I told someone about the seizure but obviously not the potassium nitrite. Since I've woken up, my symptoms have been relatively the same at the same intensity. I'm running a low grade fever & had pretty intense cyanosis that is just beginning to fade. The slight burning in my abdomen & hands is still there, but I wouldn't call it painful. The only pain I have from the whole thing is the headache & the dumbass injuries from walking around. I don't expect to need to seek medical attention unless my fever goes down. Now I'm just left sitting around like I didn't attempt earlier & stewing on what I could have done wrong
It's definitely been a frustrating experience. Tomorrow was the absolute last day that I could cope being alive for, so I'm kind of at a loss more than anything. I did intensively research this method & personally talked with people hours before they used it themselves, so it not working out once I finally got myself to be able to do it is kind of a shock to the system. You're right I should get checked out, but idk what they would do at this stage especially since I won't tell them I took anything. The symptoms I'm left with really aren't that bothersome except the fever. Though I should probably get checked out for a concussion tbr. My neck & the back of my head hurt like a motherfucker
It's nice to see you around too. I've been worried about your plan with the road going awry. Hopefully we're both able to find some peace someday & take what comfort we can in the meantime.
you seemed so well researched & prepared! do you think you will attempt again? I know you didn't test your KN but were sure of its purity—what the heck 
it's sad when these "miracles" are quite the opposite of the one(s) we were hoping for, wishing you a speedy recovery & knowledge as to what went wrong this time 
