Deleted member 17331
The swan sang with a broken neck
- Apr 21, 2020
- 376
Is anyone else suffering from postponing dates to ctb?
*
I postponed my ctb so much this year, and I confess that sometimes I regret not having finished it soon.
Last week I got a temporary job as a maid, even though I had so many pains in my body (fibromyalgia), I managed to finish the job and get paid. So I ran to a pet store and bought the best fruit cookie for my pets. And after that I noticed the joy in their eyes, they ran for joy and looked for more cookies everywhere in the house. I laughed a lot that day! I was also able to buy a cake to celebrate the birthday of a person who took care of me when I was a child. She never had a birthday party in her 85 years of life and she smiled a lot that day.
This cheered me up a lot, but temporarily.
I still have a lot of problems, new and old. And they will never resolve, whether I tried or not. Life can have moments of happiness, but these are short, and the pain is always the strongest and the longest. Sometimes, I think the pain was always with me, maybe it just learned to hide.
I am thinking of working for a while longer, and taking care of my pets. Even though I don't know how I will endure a few days... I still have my ctb plan, and I believe this is what is helping me at the moment.
Yes, I'm covering my ears and saying "La la la, I can't hear you (dear pain)", like a child. I am asking the sun to brighten my days, even though I can no longer feel its warmth.
*
I postponed my ctb so much this year, and I confess that sometimes I regret not having finished it soon.
Last week I got a temporary job as a maid, even though I had so many pains in my body (fibromyalgia), I managed to finish the job and get paid. So I ran to a pet store and bought the best fruit cookie for my pets. And after that I noticed the joy in their eyes, they ran for joy and looked for more cookies everywhere in the house. I laughed a lot that day! I was also able to buy a cake to celebrate the birthday of a person who took care of me when I was a child. She never had a birthday party in her 85 years of life and she smiled a lot that day.
This cheered me up a lot, but temporarily.
I still have a lot of problems, new and old. And they will never resolve, whether I tried or not. Life can have moments of happiness, but these are short, and the pain is always the strongest and the longest. Sometimes, I think the pain was always with me, maybe it just learned to hide.
I am thinking of working for a while longer, and taking care of my pets. Even though I don't know how I will endure a few days... I still have my ctb plan, and I believe this is what is helping me at the moment.
Yes, I'm covering my ears and saying "La la la, I can't hear you (dear pain)", like a child. I am asking the sun to brighten my days, even though I can no longer feel its warmth.
