OperaHøuse
Dragon mama
- Oct 29, 2024
- 1
Sitting in front of my therapist and discussing suicide was a moment that changed my brainchemistry.
I can't really get rid of the feeling that developed itself as she explained how to attempt the right way.
"You stop eating. That's it" she said to me with a smile on her lips.
A deep sadness occurred that formed itself in the pits of my stomach. Not eating means a slow process and a slow process means I will eventually step into old roots and live my daily life again.
I know because starving myself was a way of self-harming I used to practice a hand full of times. My will to live embraces itself again but I always wonder for how long.
It's a never ending circle and I am tired of my suffering.
So is starving myself the right way of attempting or rather a way to save myself from my own head?
My body is tired for years now. I don't know if I can keep this up for any longer.
If I actually need the quick way out and not the "right way".
I can't really get rid of the feeling that developed itself as she explained how to attempt the right way.
"You stop eating. That's it" she said to me with a smile on her lips.
A deep sadness occurred that formed itself in the pits of my stomach. Not eating means a slow process and a slow process means I will eventually step into old roots and live my daily life again.
I know because starving myself was a way of self-harming I used to practice a hand full of times. My will to live embraces itself again but I always wonder for how long.
It's a never ending circle and I am tired of my suffering.
So is starving myself the right way of attempting or rather a way to save myself from my own head?
My body is tired for years now. I don't know if I can keep this up for any longer.
If I actually need the quick way out and not the "right way".