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charlotte greentea

charlotte greentea

Misery Chick
Apr 2, 2021
59
I like the rate how suicidal you are thread because it helps me keep a measure of how I'm feeling and how others are feeling. In the same vein I thought it'd be nice just to have a thread to acknowledge making it through another day even when it's nearly impossible.
I almost killed myself today, but I made it through the day.
 
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Of The Universe

Of The Universe

Specialist
Dec 31, 2021
382
Care to elucidate???😮
 
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charlotte greentea

charlotte greentea

Misery Chick
Apr 2, 2021
59
Care to elucidate???😮
Nothing super exciting honestly, just had a really rough day and thought about leaving work to go kill myself and nearly walked into traffic on my lunch break. But even with all that I still got through the day. I think that's worth something
 
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Maaizr

Maaizr

LESS TALKING MORE KILLING
Aug 2, 2021
149
had this dream over the weekend, made me want to kill myself so bad but im still here i suppose ..cant go yet im just not ready to die but everything inside is screaming at me to do so
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,785
I guess that I have made it through this day, it is late now. Everyday is the same, each day is so miserable and depressing, time passes very slowly. I do not want any more days, I only want non existence.
 
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W

watchingthewheels

Enlightened
Jan 23, 2021
1,415
I made it through the day. New job, after 2 weeks of seeming like it was ok, turned to crud last week with a management transition. New supervisor is a micromanager who is !@#% everyone off with unreasonable demands re quotas on existing tasks (while adding additional tasks, which will take time away from the main tasks!). She is off the next 3 days, at least, so that will make the rest of the week manageable. We'll see how it goes after that.

One day at a time, I keep telling myself. (This is only a temp-to-hire job, so, literally, one day at at time!) But I know it will be like this most anywhere I go, so I'm just doing the best I can where I'm at (and my best is nothing to sneeze at), so they can either take it or leave it.
 
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Al Cappella

Al Cappella

Are we there yet?
Feb 2, 2022
888
I made it through the day, but really don't know how. I'm mostly just going through the motions, not doing much of anything. It's a prison with no bars. But, I don't mean to sound whiney…
 
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Huntfish34

Huntfish34

Enlightened
Mar 13, 2020
1,619
Ehh... I made it through the day so far. Work was Ok but still a pain in the Fckn ass with my dickhead manager / supervisors.

After work I looked at one of my rifles... Just staring at it in a drunken haze,. But still couldn't muster the strength to do anything about it . Maybe tomorrow,. Who knows.. -
 
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Lullaby

Lullaby

🌙
Mar 9, 2022
682
I had a really good day yesterday, for the time in a long while. No suicidal thoughts or anything, I just felt good.

Today started okay then it tanked halfway through. My mood is in the dumps again, but I guess I made it.

Won't even think about tomorrow, just going to listen to music and read for the rest of the night to escape.
 
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onlyanimalsaregood

onlyanimalsaregood

Unlovable 💔 Rest in peace CommitSudoku 🤍
Mar 11, 2022
1,329
I made it through the day. New job, after 2 weeks of seeming like it was ok, turned to crud last week with a management transition. New supervisor is a micromanager who is !@#% everyone off with unreasonable demands re quotas on existing tasks (while adding additional tasks, which will take time away from the main tasks!). She is off the next 3 days, at least, so that will make the rest of the week manageable. We'll see how it goes after that.

One day at a time, I keep telling myself. (This is only a temp-to-hire job, so, literally, one day at at time!) But I know it will be like this most anywhere I go, so I'm just doing the best I can where I'm at (and my best is nothing to sneeze at), so they can either take it or leave it.
Congratulations for the new job :) I'm sorry that your supervisor seems to be a jerk. Nothing is perfect. I hope the rest is positive. I wish you a rest of a good week.
 
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Insomniac

Insomniac

𝔄 𝔲 𝔱 𝔦 𝔰 𝔪
May 21, 2021
1,357
cool idea but I think this fits more into the recovery section
 
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charlotte greentea

charlotte greentea

Misery Chick
Apr 2, 2021
59
Made it through the day again. It was another uniquely stressful day but at the end I didn't kill myself. Maybe I'll make it through the day tomorrow too.
 
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H

headspin

Member
Apr 8, 2022
95
I made it through the day, but really don't know how. I'm mostly just going through the motions, not doing much of anything. It's a prison with no bars. But, I don't mean to sound whiney…
I know this well.
Made it through this day . About to try and sleep ( the only relief ). All day I thought about my CBT plan. Day after day it's the same.
I'm scared and can't wait at the same time. I feel horrible about the effects it will have on others if it successful, but they don't understand the depth of this.
But, yes, made it through another day somehow.
Made it through this day . About to try and sleep ( the only relief ). All day I thought about my CBT plan. Day after day it's the same.
I'm scared and can't wait at the same time. I feel horrible about the effects it will have on others if it successful, but they don't understand the depth of this.
But, yes, made it through another day somehow.
I was thinking earlier today about how it's a prison with no bars…
Made it through this day . About to try and sleep ( the only relief ). All day I thought about my CBT plan. Day after day it's the same.
I'm scared and can't wait at the same time. I feel horrible about the effects it will have on others if it successful, but they don't understand the depth of this.
But, yes, made it through another day somehow.
I know this well.
Made it through this day . About to try and sleep ( the only relief ). All day I thought about my CBT plan. Day after day it's the same.
I'm scared and can't wait at the same time. I feel horrible about the effects it will have on others if it successful, but they don't understand the depth of this.
But, yes, made it through another day somehow.
Made it through this day . About to try and sleep ( the only relief ). All day I thought about my CBT plan. Day after day it's the same.
I'm scared and can't wait at the same time. I feel horrible about the effects it will have on others if it successful, but they don't understand the depth of this.
But, yes, made it through another day somehow.
I was thinking earlier today about how it's a prison with no bars…
Made it through this day . About to try and sleep ( the only relief ). All day I thought about my CBT plan. Day after day it's the same.
I'm scared and can't wait at the same time. I feel horrible about the effects it will have on others if it successful, but they don't understand the depth of this.
But, yes, made it through another day somehow.
I was thinking about earlier today about how this is a prison with no bars.
 
Last edited:
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watchingthewheels

Enlightened
Jan 23, 2021
1,415
Congratulations for the new job :) I'm sorry that your supervisor seems to be a jerk. Nothing is perfect. I hope the rest is positive. I wish you a rest of a good week.
Thank you.
 
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charlotte greentea

charlotte greentea

Misery Chick
Apr 2, 2021
59
Made it through the day again, but nobody made it particularly easy
 
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H

Hurt

Paragon
Nov 13, 2020
905
I can't believe I survived this day. I felt very suicidal and I didnt care about anything anymore but now I am in my bed and I'm too tired to ctb so I guess I'm gonna sleep and hope I die while sleeping.
I hated this day
 
Of The Universe

Of The Universe

Specialist
Dec 31, 2021
382
Well it wasn't A bad day. I did my laundry😆,but that ain't all!
I got approved for a credit card! Now I can breathe easier.😉
 
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Al Cappella

Al Cappella

Are we there yet?
Feb 2, 2022
888
This is kinda nice, like a checking-in thread. I made it through. On the whole it wasn't too terrible…
 
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its-about-time

its-about-time

nope
Mar 19, 2022
807
Made it through. I've been out of town for about a week. My SN arrived right before I left town, I decided to leave it home and not bring it with me.. I'm going home tomorrow. Curious what I'll wind up doing. Every night this week I've been asking myself, "if I was home right now, would I kill myself tonight?" Certainly want to many nights, but no telling for real until I am home tomorrow and have it again.
 
charlotte greentea

charlotte greentea

Misery Chick
Apr 2, 2021
59
I made it through the day again. I think with the weekend coming up I'll make it through a few more days for sure
 
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Lullaby

Lullaby

🌙
Mar 9, 2022
682
Today went pretty horribly, and I'm still here, but I don't even want to wake up tomorrow and deal with any of this again.

Making it through the day would usually be a small victory for me, but it feels different now.
 
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charlotte greentea

charlotte greentea

Misery Chick
Apr 2, 2021
59
Made it through the day again
 
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onlyanimalsaregood

onlyanimalsaregood

Unlovable 💔 Rest in peace CommitSudoku 🤍
Mar 11, 2022
1,329
Made it through the day. Just chilling at home with my cat, in silence and peace. Could be worse.
 
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Al Cappella

Al Cappella

Are we there yet?
Feb 2, 2022
888
Still kicking!
 
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its-about-time

its-about-time

nope
Mar 19, 2022
807
Made it to midnight! I just watched a video of a suicide by cop though and am now wishing I hadn't right before bed. It's long been a fantasy of mine but is suddenly clear I could never actually do it. I completely freeze under confrontation. (And yes, it's not nice to involve others in suicide, it's just a great fantasy that entertains me when I'm driving… "what if I get pulled over, could I use it as an opportunity?"). Another day ended with poor choices 😂
 
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Reactions: ☆AwaitingEntropy☆
☆AwaitingEntropy☆

☆AwaitingEntropy☆

Snuffing the Light Out
Nov 6, 2021
208
Made it through today. The less I care about my life, the harder it is not to become impulsive. My reservations for ctb are fewer and fewer. But, I'm here. Hoping for a good night's sleep.
 
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Reactions: NotSureToEndure

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