Possibly weird request. Possibly irredeemable.

[mote]

Hello, I've been a lurker since.. maybe Nov... I have my plan but it's more of a 'Plan B'. I mean- I'm giving myself a few more months.
I don't want to lay my reasons for wanting to die out here for the world to read- I don't want family/friends finding bits and pieces here like a morbid breadcrumb trail, or thinking anyone pressured me to do it. I'll leave a single letter to explain everything if the time comes. I see that trust is gained here through lots of posts but I just don't want to do that to my loved ones.

I joined this place because I am desperate for understanding. I need to come clean. I've joined every 'suicide' and 'depression' community and none seem as transparent and sincere as this place.
I know none of you know me, and this is a place of vulnerability and skepticism. But it's the only place I feel can talk in right now. If anyone would like to talk more privately- preferably "older and wiser" than me (I'm 23) I'd be grateful. I've posted in other off topicy threads to give myself pm permissions and waited 24 hours to post this. If this is not allowed feel free to remove it.

 

[avoid_slow_death]

Am here to listen if that's your wish.

 

[bpdandme]

I'm 23 as well but if you need to chat I'm here!

 

[Blutsager]

It would be a pleasure to listen to you my friend.

Sadly I have been banned from the chat, so I can't offer you to talk through there, but it would be a pleasure to talk via PM's, and perhaps from there we could move to Discord if you would prefer a more fluid chatting.

Best of luck, my friend.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Hey.. feel SOL bumping my own thread. Not sure if that's looked down on but I hate airing my issues in public so.. so much. Anyone want to chat for a few minutes?

Bumping one's own thread is fine here.

Maybe if you give some general subjects about what you want to discuss, without revealing anything personal, someone will be drawn to that subject and offer to chat.

 

[mote]

I'm beginning to realize I can't do this life. Don't know if I'd want to even if I could.

 

[Good4Nothing]

I'm beginning to realize I can't do this life. Don't know if I'd want to even if I could.

I've always felt this way. Still feel this way. 48 years old and not a goddamn thing to show for it. I think I just wasn't made for this world.
PM me if you want to talk. I've got a lot of experience at trying to make a shit life work.

 

[mathieu]

Feel free to PM me if you like.

 

[autumnal]

It would be a pleasure to listen to you my friend.

Sadly I have been banned from the chat, so I can't offer you to talk through there, but it would be a pleasure to talk via PM's, and perhaps from there we could move to Discord if you would prefer a more fluid chatting.

Best of luck, my friend.

Just curious as to why you got banned from the chat?

 

[Crumbledank]

Hello, I've been a lurker since.. maybe Nov... I have my plan but it's more of a 'Plan B'. I mean- I'm giving myself a few more months.
I don't want to lay my reasons for wanting to die out here for the world to read- I don't want family/friends finding bits and pieces here like a morbid breadcrumb trail, or thinking anyone pressured me to do it. I'll leave a single letter to explain everything if the time comes. I see that trust is gained here through lots of posts but I just don't want to do that to my loved ones.

I joined this place because I am desperate for understanding. I need to come clean. I've joined every 'suicide' and 'depression' community and none seem as transparent and sincere as this place.
I know none of you know me, and this is a place of vulnerability and skepticism. But it's the only place I feel can talk in right now. If anyone would like to talk more privately- preferably "older and wiser" than me (I'm 23) I'd be grateful. I've posted in other off topicy threads to give myself pm permissions and waited 24 hours to post this. If this is not allowed feel free to remove it.

Hi note, feel free to dm me. I'm 45 btw.

 

[LastRide]

I'm 48 and happy to talk via pm if you wish ! I'm defintely older, not sure about the »wiser »....but I'll give your questions/worries/rants my best shot !

 

[Suez]

Hello, I've been a lurker since.. maybe Nov... I have my plan but it's more of a 'Plan B'. I mean- I'm giving myself a few more months.
I don't want to lay my reasons for wanting to die out here for the world to read- I don't want family/friends finding bits and pieces here like a morbid breadcrumb trail, or thinking anyone pressured me to do it. I'll leave a single letter to explain everything if the time comes. I see that trust is gained here through lots of posts but I just don't want to do that to my loved ones.

I joined this place because I am desperate for understanding. I need to come clean. I've joined every 'suicide' and 'depression' community and none seem as transparent and sincere as this place.
I know none of you know me, and this is a place of vulnerability and skepticism. But it's the only place I feel can talk in right now. If anyone would like to talk more privately- preferably "older and wiser" than me (I'm 23) I'd be grateful. I've posted in other off topicy threads to give myself pm permissions and waited 24 hours to post this. If this is not allowed feel free to remove it.

Most people find this forum a place where they can talk fairly freely and learn a hell of a lot about suicide. If you wish to talk to someone more privately, I would still suggest that you go slowly regardless of who that person says they are or how long they have been here. Unfortunately, like any other forum there are also people here with ulterior motives, and sometimes its the ones that have been around longer or the "wiser" ones as you put it, so its important to always be protective of yourself (Ive learnt that about a few people recently) so take your time, dont disclose to much and look after yourself first and foremost.

 

[mote]

Tbh I just want to talk about work and how people dealt with feeling 'doomy' about the future (if they did), life stories, did you ever 'get better' ect.. But not to be bullshitted when it comes to mentioning suicide, which I will consider on my own.
All of those factors of life are a huge cause of anxiety to me, but it would be embarrassing (to me) if my feelings were dug up by family unwarranted. I came here with a very specific plan if I should decide to die that I'm not going to talk about, I know it works.
Nothing that personal, emotionally charged, or private to most people, but I'm a private person and don't want people I know digging up and spreading misinformation and snippets of things I said online here if I should die by my hand. I don't want them to know it was planned and that I went to and joined a "suicide site" like this.
Thanks though. I'll keep my guard up and choose my convos wisely.

 

[Suez]

Tbh I just want to talk about work and how people dealt with feeling 'doomy' about the future (if they did), life stories, did you ever 'get better' ect.. But not to be bullshitted when it comes to mentioning suicide, which I will consider on my own.
All of those factors of life are a huge cause of anxiety to me, but it would be embarrassing (to me) if my feelings were dug up by family unwarranted. I came here with a very specific plan if I should decide to die that I'm not going to talk about, I know it works.
Nothing that personal, emotionally charged, or private to most people, but I'm a private person and don't want people I know digging up and spreading misinformation and snippets of things I said online here if I should die by my hand. I don't want them to know it was planned and that I went to and joined a "suicide site" like this.
Thanks though. I'll keep my guard up and choose my convos wisely.

It sounds like your a pretty intelligent person and know exactly what it is you want out of the conversation with who ever it is you choose to speak with, so thats a great start. No one ever wants to be bull shitted to and it sounds like all you are wanting is an honest conversation with someone about "life" and a chance to engage and perhaps ask questions about issues you are struggling with or feelings you dont know what to do with and get some honest outside perspective from someone who maybe can identify with some of the issues you are experiencing and perhaps provide some feedback on strategies that have worked for them?
I understand that you are a private person and want your privacy protected. We all do. So just continue to keep your guard up but at the same time enjoy the people here too, there are alot of incredible people in this forum who you can learn so much from. Read their posts, find out about them. Have a look around the forum and what it has to offer, there are some amazing resources here. If you wanna have a chat PM, Im here to. Stay safe.