I am thinking of the decision to end my life. I need to try and stay alive for tbe children. I am in a lot of pain and I can live with that. The problem is that my BP has been extremely high (I stopped taking all my meds and stopped engaging with NHS GP and hospital) at yhe end of summer and would rather die than engage with service that are not appropriate for me as a servuce user). The issue with high BP is that I will run the risk of having a heart attack, stroke etc - I am not a medic and do not know how far I can push that limit before breaking - hence I need to end my life when I have reached that limit. Interestingly my BP is still high (a few minutes ago), but has come down considerably from the last few days. I will monitor it till the weekend and make a decision as to whether I have reached a limit where I cannot risk staying alive.
In the meantime, Thank You for all your support.