Story Possibly made the worst decision of my life

[goodlifer]

So I started a friend group when I was in the first grade. Then in fourth grade I noticed that my friend group was pushing me away. This continued for three more years and it got to the point of bullying and manipulating. By then I was really suicidal and as a last ditch effort I decided to switch to a private school. There I realized the magnitude of the mental damage that the abusive friends had done to me and on top of that the stress from the private school was also piling on. A roadblock is also that the school is christian, So now I have the question that if god is real than what will happen.Now Im in a worse school than before, stress, questions about god and friends that I dont rather cant trust because of my last friend group. This summer is going to be it. Now I gotta somehow make the blow softer for my family. Ill probably make a last post thing so the mods can delete my account once I decide to CTB. if anyone has any tips on how to make the blow softer for my family than please share.

Thanks for reading. If anyone did.

 

[Goodgirlryeo101]

Why can't you do home schooling - through online tutoring… Honestly 99% of teen suicide or anyone committing suicide under the age of 25 has to do with bullying from friends or school mates more so this has become rampant due to social media.

If you feel like your mental health has been damaged beyond repair then I can understand why you want to complete ctb. However, if you have a bit of hope that your mental health can become better then you can do what I suggested above and you can make new friends ( be very careful on who you become friends with here). Making friends is very easy and please vet them properly before becoming too close to them.

I'm sorry for what you are going through.

Good luck

 

[goodlifer]

Why can't you do home schooling - through online tutoring… Honestly 99% of teen suicide or anyone committing suicide under the age of 25 has to do with bullying from friends or school mates more so this has become rampant due to social media.

If you feel like your mental health has been damaged beyond repair then I can understand why you want to complete ctb. However, if you have a bit of hope that your mental health can become better then you can do what I suggested above and you can make new friends ( be very careful on who you become friends with here). Making friends is very easy and please vet them properly before becoming too close to them.

I'm sorry for what you are going thro

Why can't you do home schooling - through online tutoring… Honestly 99% of teen suicide or anyone committing suicide under the age of 25 has to do with bullying from friends or school mates more so this has become rampant due to social media.

If you feel like your mental health has been damaged beyond repair then I can understand why you want to complete ctb. However, if you have a bit of hope that your mental health can become better then you can do what I suggested above and you can make new friends ( be very careful on who you become friends with here). Making friends is very easy and please vet them properly before becoming too close to them.

I'm sorry for what you are going through.

Good luck

So homeschooling was never really an option. I already have a tutor whos helping me in the new school where Im already struggling. Now homeschooling is really hard and it will be hard to get me the education that I would need to graduate, so even if I could get myself homeschooled it would only be bad for me.

Anyways, thanks for listening

 

[archiemex]

hey man ik youre a minor but i promise your high school years are going to be the worst of it. transfer to a different public school or just do homeschooling. at least try to graduate highschool and see how things go...

 

[goodlifer]

hey man ik youre a minor but i promise your high school years are going to be the worst of it. transfer to a different public school or just do homeschooling. at least try to graduate highschool and see how things go...

I came to the private school this february so I dont think switching will be a possibility in the near or even far future. Better to CTB and if possible try again next life if I can.

 

[archiemex]

I came to the private school this february so I dont think switching will be a possibility in the near or even far future. Better to CTB and if possible try again next life if I can.

if u dont mind me asking where do u live?? switching schools shouldnt be a problem if you file the correct paperwork. even if u dont live in the district for a certain public school u can still go there if u fill out the right forms.

 

[goodlifer]

if u dont mind me asking where do u live?? switching schools shouldnt be a problem if you file the correct paperwork. even if u dont live in the district for a certain public school u can still go there if u fill out the right forms.

I live in tallinn, Estonia and filing the paperwork isnt the problem. Its that my parents probably will disapprove of the decision and they tecnically could just not sign the school switching form and halt the entire process. Learned that when changing schools.

 

[archiemex]

I live in tallinn, Estonia and filing the paperwork isnt the problem. Its that my parents probably will disapprove of the decision and they tecnically could just not sign the school switching form and halt the entire process. Learned that when changing schools.

since youre stuck at the private school i would just try to make the best of it. get involved in clubs, try to have talks with your friends about trust and how your past friendships have affected your ability to trust others. im not really sure if schoolwork or grades are also stressing you out but if thats the case, talk to your teachers about it and find ways to manage your time better. plus depending on your year your grades prob dont even matter that much.. and 4 the god thing thats something youre going to have to figure out on your own. only you can decide where your journey with god will go. and if all of what i said means nothing to you just pls listen to this: do not go through with ending your life because i promise you that will solve absolutely nothing. youre so young and you have your whole life ahead of u yk? high school is only 4 sucky years

 

[goodlifer]

since youre stuck at the private school i would just try to make the best of it. get involved in clubs, try to have talks with your friends about trust and how your past friendships have affected your ability to trust others. im not really sure if schoolwork or grades are also stressing you out but if thats the case, talk to your teachers about it and find ways to manage your time better. plus depending on your year your grades prob dont even matter that much.. and 4 the god thing thats something youre going to have to figure out on your own. only you can decide where your journey with god will go. and if all of what i said means nothing to you just pls listen to this: do not go through with ending your life because i promise you that will solve absolutely nothing. youre so young and you have your whole life ahead of u yk? high school is only 4 sucky years

Thanks for the support. I gotta think about what you said. Maybe ur right.

In the end life leads me where it wants to lead me.

 

[FuneralCry]

Humans just are so unnecessarily cruel in this world and I get that it's awful feeling trapped in a situation that you hate, existing really is so dreadful but I don't think there could ever be a God anyway, existence is just meaningless and unnecessary suffering all with no deeper purpose. But when it comes to those left behind all that anyone can really do is leave notes so that those who are left behind are less likely to be left with as many unanswered questions, but anyway grief and loss are just inevitable as long as one exists here, we all have to die and lose everything someday. I wish you the best.

 

[Terrible00]

I hate it when you are in a friend group and behind everything they are talking shit about you, later turning into bullying. I've been in a similar situation recently and lost a friend I've known for a few years. He and I used to be best buddies, but the fact that he hated me so much for my look and personality just hurts. Today he spends his days having no contact with me in any way and being with people with actual value.

I truly feel sorry for your situation I hope anything you are planning for the future will lead you to peace.

 

[The anhedonic one]

God is either evil, helpless, or non existent.
Most so-called friends are selfish, fair-weather friends.
People who are not mentally ill are incapable of understanding mental illness.
So sorry you are going through this.

 

[90starve]

So I started a friend group when I was in the first grade. Then in fourth grade I noticed that my friend group was pushing me away. This continued for three more years and it got to the point of bullying and manipulating. By then I was really suicidal and as a last ditch effort I decided to switch to a private school. There I realized the magnitude of the mental damage that the abusive friends had done to me and on top of that the stress from the private school was also piling on. A roadblock is also that the school is christian, So now I have the question that if god is real than what will happen.Now Im in a worse school than before, stress, questions about god and friends that I dont rather cant trust because of my last friend group. This summer is going to be it. Now I gotta somehow make the blow softer for my family. Ill probably make a last post thing so the mods can delete my account once I decide to CTB. if anyone has any tips on how to make the blow softer for my family than please share.

Thanks for reading. If anyone did.

this sounds a lot like my school experience :( i'm sorry you have to go through all this.

i can understand how devastating it is when you realise you're being pushed from the group - school is such an unnecessarily stressful period of our lives, and kids can be intensely cruel to each other.

as for softening the blow for your family - i really don't think there's anything you could do to relieve their grieving - by the way you're saying it, it sounds like they care <3

 

[Goodgirlryeo101]

I hate it when you are in a friend group and behind everything they are talking shit about you, later turning into bullying. I've been in a similar situation recently and lost a friend I've known for a few years. He and I used to be best buddies, but the fact that he hated me so much for my look and personality just hurts. Today he spends his days having no contact with me in any way and being with people with actual value.

I truly feel sorry for your situation I hope anything you are planning for the future will lead you to peace.

If they spend so much time dedicating to talking so much shit about you behind your back it means - (B!tch you are a fan). I'm talking about them here and be flattered but then be careful as this can easily turn to creepy obsession. People with actual value don't dedicate their time talking sh!t about you - Great minds speak ideas, goals etc and little minds spend time talking poorly of others.

It reminded me of this guy my mum told me to stay away from because all he did by calling me was talking bad about others and my mum was like he is such a loser and "haatauri zvinowaka" which basically means he is a person who just spends his time talking about unproductive things.

I'm so glad that I turned down his invite to visit him and his family, he will do anything to just be connected to me ( be it with people connected to me) - He even created a what's app group talking about me ! Yeah ( he is an unhinged fan)

Edit - This same person clown me for my looks now like who begged me to be in your music video? You - maybe the fact that I said no to sleeping with him hurt his fragile ego whilst his "mupengo" was on a mute on call. The level of disrespect oh my! ( whilst telling people he slept with you) hahah!

I hope you will try to focus on yourself OP!

All the best