Porn use & Suicide

[Heavy]

Anyone else feel their lives just went downhill after consuming porn? I've read and listened to a lot of information on the subject but to me it seems all my problems errupted after viewing porn when I was 10.

I was always the happy kid and wanted to make others laugh (this is what i've heard from my mother) and then when porn entered my life at about 12 I was hooked.

I starten to lash out on close friends. Started to get annoyed from anything they did. Isolated myself more and more.


I would probably call myself addicted then, I don't know really if it was an addiction but it sure became a habit afterwards to use it whenever I wanted to jack off.

I firmly believe that porn is the beginning of a dark spiral that is even harder to stop using than heroine.

Some doctor on YT was talking about ADHD diagnoses and how they wasn't really ADHD-patients but they were porn-addicts.

Whats your thoughts on the subjects? Do you think it's possible porn ruined some of our lives?

I'm on NF right now but I feel the damage has already been done and I think it's possibly irreversible since it was "happening" during the development phase in life.
Here is a great video on the subject.
Highly recommend:

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

Yes. I was addicted to porn years ago. I spent a whole day only watching porn, downloading videos and looking for actresses. Now I really how precious our time is and I watch 20 minutes max when I want but it's better not to watch. I read that it damages your brain.

 

[AnniesHideaway]

Completely agree. I believe porn / compulsive masturbation was a main contributing factor in ruining the entirety of my life.

 

[glittergore]

Not only does porn seem to have a negative effect on mental health, there's some dubious ethics involved because of the amount of sexual assault that goes on in the industry. You never know if what you're masturbating to is actually consensual or not, especially when you consider all the nuances that go into consent. Both of those things have put me completely off of it.

 

[Brokenwithbpd]

I was dating this guy back in 2013-2015. We lived together and he would sneak watching porn in public! I actually had a mental hospital stay because of his actions

 

[Heavy]

I was dating this guy back in 2013-2015. We lived together and he would sneak watching porn in public! I actually had a mental hospital stay because of his actions

Why did you go to mental hospital because of that?

 

[Ceecil]

You sound exactly like me. I was introduced to porn at 12 years old, and it consumed me. I was a bullied kid at school, so retreating to masturbate in my room was an easy escape. It is like a drug. My life crashed and burned shortly after entering middle school.

 

[Heavy]

You sound exactly like me. I was introduced to porn at 12 years old, and it consumed me. I was a bullied kid at school, so retreating to masturbate in my room was an easy escape. It is like a drug. My life crashed and burned shortly after entering middle school.

Yeah got bullied as well. Same shit.

I recognize like you it being an escape from feelings of pain the bullying brought me..
Fucking shame we got destroyed, we were just kids ... We didn't know what fucking nightmare it would bring us in our adult life.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

Can't say I've noticed any of this ngl, but I assume as with many things overuse and addiction can have negative effects.

 

[Brokenwithbpd]

Why did you go to mental hospital because of that?

Idk. It would set me off when I found him watching porn at school!!! It was a huge downfall. His addiction and his lies about it. I am glad we are bit together anymore. He couldn't handle my depression

 

[schopenh]

I've been looking at porn since I was 13 years old. I've maintained two very healthy, happy romantic relationships, one six years long and the other two years long and have had various successful romantic flings outside of them. I never felt porn consumption ever negatively impacted me in any way. In fact, sometimes when my partner wasn't feeling up for intimacy, I could use porn to release the tension. My point being is it the porn or the person? Most people consume porn and most people don't consider suicide. (I'm suicidal due to chronic neuropathic pain, to be clear). I think Ted Bundy tried to cook up some narrative of how porn corrupted him and made him what he was.

 

[Heavy]

I've been looking at porn since I was 13 years old. I've maintained two very healthy, happy romantic relationships, one six years long and the other two years long and have had various successful romantic flings outside of them. I never felt porn consumption ever negatively impacted me in any way. In fact, sometimes when my partner wasn't feeling up for intimacy, I could use porn to release the tension. My point being is it the porn or the person? Most people consume porn and most people don't consider suicide. (I'm suicidal due to chronic neuropathic pain, to be clear). I think Ted Bundy tried to cook up some narrative of how porn corrupted him and made him what he was.

Ted Bundy watched GORE and also BDSM porn (I think on the verge of snuff films) if I recall correctly.
It was mainly his fascination with gore that inspired him to do things like that. Also, I believe he hated women and was into necrophilia.

Also, TB was a typical clinical physopath ontop of all that.

But media will always make something the culprit whether it's action movies or porn .. It's just media trying to pin it on something so the public doesn't go crazy and believes everyone is a Ted Bundy if they let themselves loose.

 

[Brokenwithbpd]

Idk. It would set me off when I found him watching porn at school!!! It was a huge downfall. His addiction and his lies about it. I am glad we are bit together anymore. He couldn't handle my depression

Not***** together

 

[DeadButDreaming]

I don't think porn caused my depression, but I do believe it warped my sexuality in a negative way. I also believe it contributes to the breakdown of relationships, because people feel obliged to perform acts they don't want to and probably wouldn't have imagined of had it not been for porn.

 

[lostangel]

I've been hooked on porn since 13. It's something I haven't really kicked. This year I have only gotten 14 days max. without pmo. But it's the first year I have tried to remove it.

 

[Alec]

It hasn't affected me negatively. I like porn, infancy sometimes it makes me feel better about things in general. I think maybe it just depends on the person and the kind of worldview the person has, the kind of life they are looking for and the kind of ways they are trying to escape from something or anything or everything. You know? I mean, alcohol can be fun but not everyone developed addiction to it and had alcohol ruin their lives and mental health and physical health even. Weed is fun but for some it turns into addiction that messes with their life and mental health. The same with stuff like gambling, or junk food, with a lot of things really. Working out at the gym and becoming more obsessed with it will be bad for the body and mental health because it's done too much. Even what's considered healthy can turn into addiction and mess up the person from the inside and from the outside.
From what I've read masturbation itself is a healthy act, it's good for your body physically and good for you mentally, unless of course as with a lot of things if not all, it's done too much, then it can turn into a problem.

 

[Baguette]

I actually have porn induced erectile dysfunction which has played a significant part in my depression and is also a huge reason I've never really had a relationship. I tried nofap a few years ago but I could only ever get to the 2 week mark before I was straight back to porn. When I think about it my life has only got worse since I started watching porn, and now I can't bear it anymore.

 

[thereandgone]

Yeah same here. I admit that for me, beginning to use hardcore porn in the first place was more of a symptom of miserable life circumstances rather than a cause of misery in itself. But as time went by, using porn became a coping mechanism to deal with my increasingly hopeless life situations and eventually became a source of misery in itself; like some kind endless loop. Only I couldn't realize this until after the fact when it was all too late. I do remember wishing for death before ever viewing porn, so I can't say that undoing porn addiction would have resolve my situation, but it is still my biggest regret (outside of being born). I wish I'd had the courage to end myself and snuff out that budding addiction back then.

 

[TAW122]

I don't consider myself addicted to porn, but I did have a time where I had an high obsession with a particular fetish. It's not a really gross fetish and is tame compared to some of the things out there, but is still rather niche and sometimes misunderstood. Nowadays, I'm just so numb and tired that even my fetish doesn't really pique my interest. In fact, it even makes me sad at times too, knowing that I would never be able to fulfill what I want with it (another reason towards my wanting to CTB among the reasons already).

 

[Desideratum]

Ted Bundy watched GORE and also BDSM porn (I think on the verge of snuff films) if I recall correctly.
It was mainly his fascination with gore that inspired him to do things like that. Also, I believe he hated women and was into necrophilia.

Also, TB was a typical clinical physopath ontop of all that.

But media will always make something the culprit whether it's action movies or porn .. It's just media trying to pin it on something so the public doesn't go crazy and believes everyone is a Ted Bundy if they let themselves loose.

He just said that before he was executed as a last ditch attempt to evade the execution.

 

[ChoclateIsSweet]

From 16 my dream job was to become a hentai artist. Which basically means to draw porn all day and let myself embrace my degeneracy.

I would come up with porn plots all day and write the scripts. Then I'd draw some of them. The thing was it was all quite violent (mindbreak, gangrape, and snuff).

I was disgusted with myself time and time again but I couldn't come up with anything better. But being able to draw them also made me feel happy, because it gave me (for better or worse) freedom to do anything.

I'd like to think I was just a horny teenager back then but nothing much has changed.

 

[Heavy]

From 16 my dream job was to become a hentai artist. Which basically means to draw porn all day and let myself embrace my degeneracy.

I would come up with porn plots all day and write the scripts. Then I'd draw some of them. The thing was it was all quite violent (mindbreak, gangrape, and snuff).

I was disgusted with myself time and time again but I couldn't come up with anything better. But being able to draw them also made me feel happy, because it gave me (for better or worse) freedom to do anything.

I'd like to think I was just a horny teenager back then but nothing much has changed.

Thing is, that is very different I think. The hentai paintings are more towards "fantasy" which is something completely different than real images of porn.

Your thing was a creative way for you to "build" on in a whole different way than just watching porn. You worked on the paintings and improved your "skill": It's work. Watching porn is pure entertainment.

I think porn in some way can be treated as an "art" and view it even today as such but unfortunately it's also very addictive and makes your brain literally change in it's physical structure (if you PMO). The brain treats the women in porn like it's the real deal and therefore your brain thinks it's hacving sex with 1000 of women which in reality, it's not.

 

[Intheo]

Personally I don't feel porn factored heavily into the deterioration of my life other than it being a waste of time. I wasn't addicted to it and I was able to take a step back and realize it's fake. Most porn actually disturbs me because they're a reflection of the twisted attitudes of women and sex in our society. I can see why for many young men porn is a destructive force in their lives.

 

[maru.]

It's hard for me to say how much of an impact porn actually had on me, i don't have much knowledge about the subject, so if anyone does, i would be happy to hear what you have to say, it could be helpful.

I started watching porn and masturbating the same way most people did, in puberty, however, i soon realised that i did it more than what's considered "average", please don't judge or think i'm disgusting, i know i am, but 3 times a day for me has been common, for at least 8 years or something at this point.

It was something i always felt this need to do, i've always been the fat and ugly kid, and even though that didn't stop me from having lots of friends, i never had a girlfriend, so i've always been very lonely in that regard, it was a kind of affection i needed desperately, not just sex, but that kind of love, mentally and physically, with things like cuddling and stuff, you know? The kind of love you don't really get from parents or friends.

It was a way i found to fill that gap, also, it felt good, i never used drugs or alcohol in my teenage years, so when i got sad, my methods for coping were food and masturbation, still, i was happy mostly, and i still did it a lot.

In the last few years, my life has gone off the deep end, and i feel miserable most of the time, and i still have only these 2 main coping mechanisms, however food has this one bad effect, it makes me fat, which makes me even sadder, so masturbation is the easiest one honestly, the one that seems to have less consequences, and it feels better too.

In my bad days, i don't even count, i just do it again and again, in a conscious way, like "i feel awful, i need to feel good asap", so i do it, again, and again, and again...

It's harded and harded for me to feel aroused in the last few years, the few times i tried no fap i couldn't last more than a day, and still, it doesn't feel that good anymore, it's just something i do because i can't stand not doing it anymore, even though there are times i feel like crying when watching/reading it (yes, i read hentai too, lots of it), especially more romantic vanilla stuff, it makes me miserable to see it.

I feel so tired all of the time, and it's a major cause of me being so miserable, that i can't do the stuff i have to do, and it's gonna catch up to me eventually, and when it does, and i drop out of college, i know i'll ctb.

I don't know if too much masturbation can decrease testosterone levels, i know that it screws up my rewards system tho, but what am i supposed to do? If i give up this coping mechanism, i'll leave it all to food, and i'll get even fatter, and then even sadder, i'm stuck and like i've said ealier, i don't know much about this stuff, so i'm not even sure if stopping would solve anything, if these things people talk about, "exercising and no fap" actually are enough to make me have the energy to do anything again, i just don't know.

 

[Csmith8827]

I got through like 3/4 of the comments before I needed to post. Porn itself I don't think is bad (unless you accidentally view something that traumatizes you, it happened to me a few times, just twisted shit) but like having that aspect of your life put out on blast or just like imagine every person in the world knowing what you look at or just looked at and then fucking with you about it? That's what I'm in the middle of. It's really just about the lack of privacy. People's porno habits are innately private and to strip them of that is fucked up. To take away any sort of privacy is fucked up. Sex itself is supposed to be private

I got brainwashed by gay porn when I was 12.
Is that a bad thing? Probably. But I know i'm not the only person that's happened to and I don't even label or define myself with that word. In many respects i still love and desire women.


On the flip side, it kinda led me down a downward spiral. In fact know it did. It was like this masterplan done by this mastermind. A huge intricate spider web that in many ways ruined and fucked up my life. You start hooking up with guys when your underage, etc. Let the cyber-trafficking begin.

It's a complicated subject but in reality it's all personal and deserves to remain that way.

 

[limpingtowardfreedom]

This was an issue in my past as well. Try to reduce it to start rather than stopping completely, which is also unhealthy physically. Iirc every two weeks is a good number. The biggest issue is immersion in porn culture and porn imagery, which is a real damaging psychological environment. Try simply masturbating using your imagination when you can as well.

For me personally, I know it's a little out there to say the least, but it was beginning to practice sex magic that really helped me find a better conception of how to use my body healthily. If you want more information on that I recommend the comic book Promethea (no, I'm not joking, this comic book has great theory and info on spirituality) or google 'sigil magick' to get started in the right direction. You can also PM me for links or advice on that or just the more normal stuff in the first paragraph.

 

[ZardozOmega]

I feel the exact same way :(

it sucks, right? i wish i had someone

Listen, I thought this was true of me for years too, I'm unattractive, socially awkward and generally offputting, but I found out that for just about anyone in the real thing standing in their way is their own self loathing and everyone deserves love and most hopeless people do have the chance. I'm not saying life isn't hopeless and miserable for other reasons, and it's not exactly easy to simply just tell people on a suicide forum to stop hating themselves most of the time, but pretty much everybody really does have a chance, and not all women like the same thing even if it feels like it. It sounds like a platitude but there is a *very* high chance that you are at least somebody's type, as long as you can allow yourself to believe it too.

thanks for the kind words

 

[bpdpos1]

Porn affected my life in a slightly different way. I was exposed to it at the age of 8/9 by my parents who were watching it and not making too many efforts to hide it and was very traumatised. I am 28F today. I was already a very sensitive, religious, shy and awkward child. It made me suffer even more because my parents sent us to a religious institution after school where we were taught such things were bad but then they would do it at home. It took me a while to get over it. But then at 18 years old I became curious and started watching soft porn that led me to consume more and more. It became a sort of temporary relief, helped me feel instantaneously better and led eventually to addiction

 

[limpingtowardfreedom]

Did you find anything in particular helped with the addiction?

 

[MaisieWilliamsLover]

Personally I don't think porm is an issue when consumed in reasonable amounts. Spending 12 hours a day jerking off to porm is not healthy but it doesn't have anything to do with porm. I have no problems performing and getting my wife off but if I was somebody that was whacking off to p*** and then not having the desire and energy to service my wife sufficiently then that would be a problem but again just consume in moderation.