Political suicide

[Clemenstönnies2]

Hello,
hope my English is ok.

I wonder if there are other people here feeling all that rage. I hope you won't blame me for this. I dont blame anyone for suicide - no matter what you did in your life. Maybe you did something bad, maybe something good or maybe nothing. There is always a reason.

But I wonder if we could at least express anything more than mental illness.
If I will hang me - everyone will think that was cause of mental illness. Cause I got lots of these diagnoses and shit.

But I dont believe in mental illness.
I wonder where you guys come from and in which context you live.

I was animal liberation activist for some time. I remember sitting in this slaughter house -we went in and sat in this till the cops got us out and put us in jail (just for half a day). And nothing ever changed. Maschines keep going, things get worse.
I never wanted to safe all these animals from death but from birth.

(Most of) our parents probably at least had fun creating new individuals. I dont care about them. Wished i would not at least when i do. My mum would never stand all the blame my suicide would do to her - but I dont want to care.

But all these animals were born by human force. 65 % of mammals on this planet are livestock. 32 % human. Only 3% wild animals. Don't care about the wild. Nature appears terrible sometimes, everyone eating everyone. But they can cope I believe.
But what about these 97 % born by human force, kept alive by maschines, abused and than get slaughered finally.

Is there anyone feeling all this rage too? I can't stand this feeling anymore. Everything I try to do ends me up in psychiatry.

Any activists here? Anyone like to plan suicide with me with political statement? I don't know if i can do this alone.

LG Clemens Tönnies, Germany

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

It is noble that you have such strong feelings of empathy for animals… I used to share your anger but stopped feeling anything at all…

 

[rainwillneverstop]

I see your point.
I don't feel rage against it though, it is horrible and many are blind to the facts but I am also in a place in life where I care or feel only minimal.
I respect your views on animals, it is great to see others with that view. I am a little hypocritical in that I still eat meat, but I have cut down a lot and eat only minimal, and I stopped eating pork 2 years ago. (not because of religion because everyone always have to ask that, as if it is weird or whatever)

Can I ask you what you mean by not beliving in mental illness?

 

[Clemenstönnies2]

No worry. I dont care about people eating meat.
i rather hate machines producing it.

It's just that there is so many individuals diagnosed with mental illnesses.
But look at humanity as a whole. It's so fucking sick everything that happens. Overwhelming. That is not big news I believe.
And I see pictures of destruction everywhere. I believe many people in this forum are diagnosed and have experience in psychiatry. i dont think you dont feel, just feel too much.

All so illusive. Just all a sick game.

Yesterday I ran in a situation on the street. Woman sitting there surrounded by 4 cops. They wanted to make her leave.
I went there and ask her what is the problem. Cops told me she is confused. Confused by what I asked. Cops said thats not my affair, i should leave.
Cops followed her. They were annoyed. They dont tollerate confusion. They did not want her to be. I did not know if I could help.
Later on i had a conversation with the dude from the sports center. He said the woman is sick and she belongs in psychiatry. She went there and through herself on the ground screaming. So he called the police. And it s me feeling everything again.
I asked him why she was a problem throughing herself on the ground screaming. He said he had to care about his clients. There is no place for her but psychiatry.
Probably he is right. Damn god.
I am to sick to recover. I just dont want to die in this blame.
This story has no end. Just see these sick people everywhere in there forces. Every action they do is such an act of force.
Still I am fighting nature.
Everyone in their forces. Just so fucking sick everything.

Is it inside me or outside me? I dont know if i am sick or if everthing outside is sick.
I dont believe in religion. And i dont believe in psychology. Science. New religion. Its just humanity controlling themselves, making themselves machines. Dont want to play this game. Dont want to let it run either.
I am confused by this.
Does not answer the question maybe.

 

[rainwillneverstop]

No worry. I dont care about people eating meat.
i rather hate machines producing it.

It's just that there is so many individuals diagnosed with mental illnesses.
But look at humanity as a whole. It's so fucking sick everything that happens. Overwhelming. That is not big news I believe.
And I see pictures of destruction everywhere. I believe many people in this forum are diagnosed and have experience in psychiatry. i dont think you dont feel, just feel too much.

All so illusive. Just all a sick game.

Yesterday I ran in a situation on the street. Woman sitting there surrounded by 4 cops. They wanted to make her leave.
I went there and ask her what is the problem. Cops told me she is confused. Confused by what I asked. Cops said thats not my affair, i should leave.
Cops followed her. They were annoyed. They dont tollerate confusion. They did not want her to be. I did not know if I could help.
Later on i had a conversation with the dude from the sports center. He said the woman is sick and she belongs in psychiatry. She went there and through herself on the ground screaming. So he called the police. And it s me feeling everything again.
I asked him why she was a problem throughing herself on the ground screaming. He said he had to care about his clients. There is no place for her but psychiatry.
Probably he is right. Damn god.
I am to sick to recover. I just dont want to die in this blame.
This story has no end. Just see these sick people everywhere in there forces. Every action they do is such an act of force.
Still I am fighting nature.
Everyone in their forces. Just so fucking sick everything.

Is it inside me or outside me? I dont know if i am sick or if everthing outside is sick.
I dont believe in religion. And i dont believe in psychology. Science. New religion. Its just humanity controlling themselves, making themselves machines. Dont want to play this game. Dont want to let it run either.
I am confused by this.
Does not answer the question maybe.

It perfectly answers the question, you explained your thoughts behind it and it makes sense to me at least.
The police is poorly if even trained at handling mentally ill people, it is quite sad when mentally ill and the police colide. A lot of misunderstanding, not a lot of humanity and care. And we don't want to fund for improvements. (yet anyway.)
Here we had an experiement running on trial in a specific region. They made an psychiatric response unit, which included both officers and a psychiatric nurse.
It was made to be used in a case such as the one you describe, and/or if mentally ill called 911 for help.
The outcome was a lot of positive results, because police are really not ment to handle such situations. There has to be a person that can understand the other persons thought process, and see the sick person as still a human.

I think you sound very kind and thoughtful in your actions.
It is an very interesting interaction I think, because you asked something the police may not have thought of "Confused by what?" You went the extra step and doing this, you also validate that the woman is a human like us with emotions, feelings and thoughts. The police most likely didn't think that far, other than "crazy woman." and wanted to get on with their job.

 

[ianista]

Hello Clemens. Funny name

Yes i was/am an activist myself, but never directly in the field of animal liberation. But i can follow the argumentation and see the points.

I thought a lot about political suicide or just basically the idea to use the own death to amplify some voices or to push a message.

Of course i also think about people like Mohamed Bouazizi (some consider his suicide as the beginning of the arabic spring), Bobby Sands (100 000 were at his funeral after he died in the prison of starvation).

This might sometimes be part of the fantasy: That the own suicide is so meaningful that it changes the world afterwards.

But i also have to consider people like Susanne (RIP) (https://www.beobachter.ch/burger-ve...ausweis-und-das-gefuhl-des-fremd-seins-357329). No one cared about her death and nothing changes afterwards. It is even a miracle that she got this article in the media.

You mentioned something very important: That mental illness is a thing in this society. It means that people will take you less serious because you ctb. Only in very specific environment and if a lot people can identify themselves with you, there is any political impact in ctb. The thing that you ctb also means that a lot people have problems to identify with you, either because they are pro-life and/or they are not suicidal themself.