Venting Please talk to me

[struggles_inc]

I am absolutely baffled. I'm astonished at how people around me just do not give a one out of billions of fucks. Just pure ignorance, the fuck-it on its own. I am absolutely fucking done.

Nobody even tries to look like they care. I don't traumadump on anyone and I never will, because these motherfuckers get annoyed any time I try to talk about something sliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiightly harsh. I don't even attempt to talk about CTB or my father's death. I try to say something in the lines of "feeling kinda lonely" and get no-brainer fucking responses. It's like I just don't exist.

I fucking have 100 people around me on everyday basis bc I'm a manager of a small business. Of course there is no fucking reason to vent to my employees, they won't listen anyway. Talking to boss, meh.
My close surroundings, people I call friends, try their best to fucking troll me idk? I have no idea otherwise, why they tend to make things worse by giving bullshit advice like ohhh that's bad get a new hobby. Fucking hobby. I have like a thousand of those. I have an abundance of stuff and people around me yet I am SO COMPLETELY LONELY and I GUESS FUCKING INVISIBLE. Like oh man I should be a superhero because of my fucking superpower to turn into nothing.

I use it on a regular basis btw. Currently I have about two black-ish bloody wounds I made with a razor. Did not even attempt to hide them. Nobody noticed. Fucking ninja, man.

Once I had the nerve to ask WHY my friend didn't give a shit, they told me they never knew I even cared. They never knew I even felt bad. Like are you blind my dude? Maybe instead of suggesting I go to a psychologist you go visit a freaking ophthalmologist? Huh???

And ooohhh the psychology topic. An absolute deal-fuck-upper for me. Like, yeah, I have no problem to paying a fucking stranger to listen to me and comfort me with basic phrases I can predict. I do not need fucking therapy. My head is fucking alright. I wish instead of trying SO HARD to make me go fuck myself, people around me actually tried just a little to keep me close. All I need is fucking affection which I UNFORTUNATELY can't get from a random ass dude.
I just wish I was loved. Some people say I'm unapproachable and that's such a lazy take. Like yeah I won't lick your butt for your attention, sorry.

The only guy who understood was my dad. And he fucking died on me. He fucking dead-cheeks unga-bunga sweesh-swoosh died on my ass. Absolutely ironic.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry you have to go through this. Being lonely is so awful. When you have a few more posts the chats are activated and you are able to do private chats with other members, too. Just in case you want to talk my PM is open.

 

[Someone123]

I am really sorry you feel so lonely. When some people say you seem unapproachable this may be a key clue though, it sounds like hey are giving this advice out of caring and not out of meaning to be critical. Many people have trouble connecting in this world, it can be tough. I do think that friendships could heal you some, but the question is how to connect. I do think you are correct about therapy, it rarely works, there is rarely effective caring there, though some people get lucky and find someone who helps, but most do not. I suspect that some people around you are more caring than you think, but that you don't have a good strategy for how to9 connect with them. It's true that you need to be careful with how you interact with people above or below you in the hierarchy at work, but there can still be little caring moments that you may be missing. The hobby idea can actually be helpful if you keep in mind that the purpose of the hobby is to connect with other people are to make real friendships that grow over time into more caring, etc. When your friend said they never knew you cared that was a isgn that communicating somehow differently could help. A key question- if a person who was just like you was inside another oerson around you, how would you get to know them and become good friends? How would you become good friends with yourself? What would you say, what would the other person say, how would you read their body language and way of communicating, etc. Some sort of common interest is a key. You start out spending time togther over this common interest, ideally witin a group of people so you can find someone with more in common, and this grows into hanging out togtehfr, maybe sharing meals or going to gatherings of family and friends. HOw would you beco0me frineds iwth yourself, or someone similar to yourself, if a person like this was inside another operson around you? If you think about this in detail you may come up with ideas for how to connect better over a common side interest like a hobby. Hopefully this can help some.

 

[BurgundySnap]

I am absolutely baffled. I'm astonished at how people around me just do not give a one out of billions of fucks. Just pure ignorance, the fuck-it on its own. I am absolutely fucking done.

Nobody even tries to look like they care. I don't traumadump on anyone and I never will, because these motherfuckers get annoyed any time I try to talk about something sliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiightly harsh. I don't even attempt to talk about CTB or my father's death. I try to say something in the lines of "feeling kinda lonely" and get no-brainer fucking responses. It's like I just don't exist.

I fucking have 100 people around me on everyday basis bc I'm a manager of a small business. Of course there is no fucking reason to vent to my employees, they won't listen anyway. Talking to boss, meh.
My close surroundings, people I call friends, try their best to fucking troll me idk? I have no idea otherwise, why they tend to make things worse by giving bullshit advice like ohhh that's bad get a new hobby. Fucking hobby. I have like a thousand of those. I have an abundance of stuff and people around me yet I am SO COMPLETELY LONELY and I GUESS FUCKING INVISIBLE. Like oh man I should be a superhero because of my fucking superpower to turn into nothing.

I use it on a regular basis btw. Currently I have about two black-ish bloody wounds I made with a razor. Did not even attempt to hide them. Nobody noticed. Fucking ninja, man.

Once I had the nerve to ask WHY my friend didn't give a shit, they told me they never knew I even cared. They never knew I even felt bad. Like are you blind my dude? Maybe instead of suggesting I go to a psychologist you go visit a freaking ophthalmologist? Huh???

And ooohhh the psychology topic. An absolute deal-fuck-upper for me. Like, yeah, I have no problem to paying a fucking stranger to listen to me and comfort me with basic phrases I can predict. I do not need fucking therapy. My head is fucking alright. I wish instead of trying SO HARD to make me go fuck myself, people around me actually tried just a little to keep me close. All I need is fucking affection which I UNFORTUNATELY can't get from a random ass dude.
I just wish I was loved. Some people say I'm unapproachable and that's such a lazy take. Like yeah I won't lick your butt for your attention, sorry.

The only guy who understood was my dad. And he fucking died on me. He fucking dead-cheeks unga-bunga sweesh-swoosh died on my ass. Absolutely ironic.

Hello, struggles_inc,

I hope it is not minimizing your own pain to say I know how you feel. I also have to avoid talking about anything to do with suicide, let alone any form of self harm or negative thoughts, around those who are physically near me. So much, that I know I have nowhere to go but this website to talk about anything related to this topic.
It seems to always make them upset, they just want to feel happy and don't even see you! I wish people around you would let you talk, you must be holding in so much.

Bad advice is awful to hear. It becomes so annoying to keep getting words of encouragement that probably do not even mean anything to the person they were given from. It is like they want you to magically feel better...I wish people would think before giving any advice, or even better: Not give any advice. It never seems to work for anyone, and I wish people would understand that. It seems more rude than any niceness they want to convey.

As sincerely as it can sound, I wish people would listen to you. They really seem to...not see you, struggles_inc. I wish they would care enough to do anything other than whatever they are doing when you try to talk.

We know nothing about each other, however my PM's are always open. I would not mind hearing you at all about any topic if you would ever be alright with talking together.

 

[struggles_inc]

I am really sorry you feel so lonely. When some people say you seem unapproachable this may be a key clue though, it sounds like hey are giving this advice out of caring and not out of meaning to be critical. Many people have trouble connecting in this world, it can be tough. I do think that friendships could heal you some, but the question is how to connect. I do think you are correct about therapy, it rarely works, there is rarely effective caring there, though some people get lucky and find someone who helps, but most do not. I suspect that some people around you are more caring than you think, but that you don't have a good strategy for how to9 connect with them. It's true that you need to be careful with how you interact with people above or below you in the hierarchy at work, but there can still be little caring moments that you may be missing. The hobby idea can actually be helpful if you keep in mind that the purpose of the hobby is to connect with other people are to make real friendships that grow over time into more caring, etc. When your friend said they never knew you cared that was a isgn that communicating somehow differently could help. A key question- if a person who was just like you was inside another oerson around you, how would you get to know them and become good friends? How would you become good friends with yourself? What would you say, what would the other person say, how would you read their body language and way of communicating, etc. Some sort of common interest is a key. You start out spending time togther over this common interest, ideally witin a group of people so you can find someone with more in common, and this grows into hanging out togtehfr, maybe sharing meals or going to gatherings of family and friends. HOw would you beco0me frineds iwth yourself, or someone similar to yourself, if a person like this was inside another operson around you? If you think about this in detail you may come up with ideas for how to connect better over a common side interest like a hobby. Hopefully this can help some.

Well, uh… Some, so to say, character witnesses describe me as cold, somewhat composed. I'm unapproachable because I seem to be arrogant and narcissistic to some people, from what I've heard about myself through the grapevine. But no matter how much I try to reflect on it, I just don't see the source. I don't understand where it's coming from, because on the inside I'm panicked instead of composed and self-loathing instead of self-loving. I'm at a loss.

 

[Unattainable666]

I am absolutely baffled. I'm astonished at how people around me just do not give a one out of billions of fucks. Just pure ignorance, the fuck-it on its own. I am absolutely fucking done.

Nobody even tries to look like they care. I don't traumadump on anyone and I never will, because these motherfuckers get annoyed any time I try to talk about something sliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiightly harsh. I don't even attempt to talk about CTB or my father's death. I try to say something in the lines of "feeling kinda lonely" and get no-brainer fucking responses. It's like I just don't exist.

I fucking have 100 people around me on everyday basis bc I'm a manager of a small business. Of course there is no fucking reason to vent to my employees, they won't listen anyway. Talking to boss, meh.
My close surroundings, people I call friends, try their best to fucking troll me idk? I have no idea otherwise, why they tend to make things worse by giving bullshit advice like ohhh that's bad get a new hobby. Fucking hobby. I have like a thousand of those. I have an abundance of stuff and people around me yet I am SO COMPLETELY LONELY and I GUESS FUCKING INVISIBLE. Like oh man I should be a superhero because of my fucking superpower to turn into nothing.

I use it on a regular basis btw. Currently I have about two black-ish bloody wounds I made with a razor. Did not even attempt to hide them. Nobody noticed. Fucking ninja, man.

Once I had the nerve to ask WHY my friend didn't give a shit, they told me they never knew I even cared. They never knew I even felt bad. Like are you blind my dude? Maybe instead of suggesting I go to a psychologist you go visit a freaking ophthalmologist? Huh???

And ooohhh the psychology topic. An absolute deal-fuck-upper for me. Like, yeah, I have no problem to paying a fucking stranger to listen to me and comfort me with basic phrases I can predict. I do not need fucking therapy. My head is fucking alright. I wish instead of trying SO HARD to make me go fuck myself, people around me actually tried just a little to keep me close. All I need is fucking affection which I UNFORTUNATELY can't get from a random ass dude.
I just wish I was loved. Some people say I'm unapproachable and that's such a lazy take. Like yeah I won't lick your butt for your attention, sorry.

The only guy who understood was my dad. And he fucking died on me. He fucking dead-cheeks unga-bunga sweesh-swoosh died on my ass. Absolutely ironic.

I know exactly how you feel. I had a huge panic attack at work (due to the stress of the asshole attorneys) and i was in a fetal position unable to breathe crying. They all knew where I was and not one fucking person came to help me. WOrthless pieces of shit. But their expectations are that you will help them. FUCK you assholes. For instance one of the attorneys is getting married and he invited everybody from the office (he might have even invited the homeless guy down the street) and his expectation is that I will show up since I work for him. Well, I'm not going I don't give a shit what the repercussions are. I have to work for these assholes five days a week my weekends are mine and I have no intention of seeing any of them. Sorry sore subject. You're absoultely right people fucking suck they don't give a shit about anybody but themselves.

 

[struggles_inc]

I know exactly how you feel. I had a huge panic attack at work (due to the stress of the asshole attorneys) and i was in a fetal position unable to breathe crying. They all knew where I was and not one fucking person came to help me. WOrthless pieces of shit. But their expectations are that you will help them. FUCK you assholes. For instance one of the attorneys is getting married and he invited everybody from the office (he might have even invited the homeless guy down the street) and his expectation is that I will show up since I work for him. Well, I'm not going I don't give a shit what the repercussions are. I have to work for these assholes five days a week my weekends are mine and I have no intention of seeing any of them. Sorry sore subject. You're absoultely right people fucking suck they don't give a shit about anybody but themselves.

FUCK YEAH.
My friend used to cry to me all the time about her stuff. Abusive relationships, so on. And I would always be there for her, help out and let her vent. Now the tables have turned, and she does jack shit. Literally nothing. She said "more power to you" as I was talking about my developing hallucinations situation. Like yeah, fuck me, right? She got what she wanted. They all do.

 

[Unattainable666]

FUCK YEAH.
My friend used to cry to me all the time about her stuff. Abusive relationships, so on. And I would always be there for her, help out and let her vent. Now the tables have turned, and she does jack shit. Literally nothing. She said "more power to you" as I was talking about my developing hallucinations situation. Like yeah, fuck me, right? She got what she wanted. They all do.

I am one of the older people on this site and I can tell you from experience that the people (99%) on this site are more like family and friends to me than anyone out in this shitty world. You will find people here who truly care about you and understand how you are feeling. Expect nothing by ignorance from the outside.

 

[SVEN]

I can pretty much promise that none of us are going to ask, "And how does that make you feel?" Or, "And on a scale of 1 - 10 where are you".
Because most of us can absolutely relate to being strangers in a strange world. Vent away all you want, we all do, because this is the one place I've found where people get where I'm coming from without my trying to explain.

 

[Someone123]

Well, uh… Some, so to say, character witnesses describe me as cold, somewhat composed. I'm unapproachable because I seem to be arrogant and narcissistic to some people, from what I've heard about myself through the grapevine. But no matter how much I try to reflect on it, I just don't see the source. I don't understand where it's coming from, because on the inside I'm panicked instead of composed and self-loathing instead of self-loving. I'm at a loss.

For me, when younger people often thought I was stuck up when I was shy and not stuck up at all, not even slightly. They can be reading from facial expresions, tone of voice, some word choices- so many things can be interpreted in one way or another. Practicin g various ways of start conversations withy others can help, and practicing- how would you get to know yourself, i9f someone like you was in another oerson, but with some minor differences? WHat could you say, what could they say? WHat could your ton of voice of body language say? There are manyt videos on youtibe on how to make freinds, how to start converasations and keep them going, etc. These are worth looking at- some will not click for you but you can just keep trying until you find some ideas that may work. Connecting with others is like working out or studying or developing some other ability- learn from others and try things out for yourslef. The fact that you want to connect, and haven't given up on this, is big. I hope you can find a way to start on this and get things going in the right direction.

 

[spirittheyregone]

I am absolutely baffled. I'm astonished at how people around me just do not give a one out of billions of fucks. Just pure ignorance, the fuck-it on its own. I am absolutely fucking done.

Nobody even tries to look like they care. I don't traumadump on anyone and I never will, because these motherfuckers get annoyed any time I try to talk about something sliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiightly harsh. I don't even attempt to talk about CTB or my father's death. I try to say something in the lines of "feeling kinda lonely" and get no-brainer fucking responses. It's like I just don't exist.

I fucking have 100 people around me on everyday basis bc I'm a manager of a small business. Of course there is no fucking reason to vent to my employees, they won't listen anyway. Talking to boss, meh.
My close surroundings, people I call friends, try their best to fucking troll me idk? I have no idea otherwise, why they tend to make things worse by giving bullshit advice like ohhh that's bad get a new hobby. Fucking hobby. I have like a thousand of those. I have an abundance of stuff and people around me yet I am SO COMPLETELY LONELY and I GUESS FUCKING INVISIBLE. Like oh man I should be a superhero because of my fucking superpower to turn into nothing.

I use it on a regular basis btw. Currently I have about two black-ish bloody wounds I made with a razor. Did not even attempt to hide them. Nobody noticed. Fucking ninja, man.

Once I had the nerve to ask WHY my friend didn't give a shit, they told me they never knew I even cared. They never knew I even felt bad. Like are you blind my dude? Maybe instead of suggesting I go to a psychologist you go visit a freaking ophthalmologist? Huh???

And ooohhh the psychology topic. An absolute deal-fuck-upper for me. Like, yeah, I have no problem to paying a fucking stranger to listen to me and comfort me with basic phrases I can predict. I do not need fucking therapy. My head is fucking alright. I wish instead of trying SO HARD to make me go fuck myself, people around me actually tried just a little to keep me close. All I need is fucking affection which I UNFORTUNATELY can't get from a random ass dude.
I just wish I was loved. Some people say I'm unapproachable and that's such a lazy take. Like yeah I won't lick your butt for your attention, sorry.

The only guy who understood was my dad. And he fucking died on me. He fucking dead-cheeks unga-bunga sweesh-swoosh died on my ass. Absolutely ironic.

Hey I hope you know you can always message. I know how it feels to feel like you can never tell anyone about anything. It feels like people always qant to know how you feel and want you to open up until they dont like what they hear. My condolences about your father, I hope it gets better for you or at least bearable.

 

[LSDXMT]

I feel the same way, its like none of my friends ever wanted to talk to me and making new friends is impossible for me, although maybe i was/am just too uninteresting for everyone. I dont really know, but i wish you good luck.

 

[ultrasharpy123456]

I'm sorry you're lonely and no one's paying attention to you. I wish I could give you words of encouragement or something but if you want to talk my dms are open. I'm not as smart as everyone else but my dms are open regardless. And if you want to talk about what you went through that's fine, too.

 

[doneforlife]

I have no problem being alone, but I don't have anything to engage with. Movies and series don't feel engaging anymore. I don't know what else to engage with. I keep listening to YouTube music...but I don't know for how long I can go on with this.

 

[FadingSunshine]

I am absolutely baffled. I'm astonished at how people around me just do not give a one out of billions of fucks. Just pure ignorance, the fuck-it on its own. I am absolutely fucking done.

Nobody even tries to look like they care. I don't traumadump on anyone and I never will, because these motherfuckers get annoyed any time I try to talk about something sliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiightly harsh. I don't even attempt to talk about CTB or my father's death. I try to say something in the lines of "feeling kinda lonely" and get no-brainer fucking responses. It's like I just don't exist.

I fucking have 100 people around me on everyday basis bc I'm a manager of a small business. Of course there is no fucking reason to vent to my employees, they won't listen anyway. Talking to boss, meh.
My close surroundings, people I call friends, try their best to fucking troll me idk? I have no idea otherwise, why they tend to make things worse by giving bullshit advice like ohhh that's bad get a new hobby. Fucking hobby. I have like a thousand of those. I have an abundance of stuff and people around me yet I am SO COMPLETELY LONELY and I GUESS FUCKING INVISIBLE. Like oh man I should be a superhero because of my fucking superpower to turn into nothing.

I use it on a regular basis btw. Currently I have about two black-ish bloody wounds I made with a razor. Did not even attempt to hide them. Nobody noticed. Fucking ninja, man.

Once I had the nerve to ask WHY my friend didn't give a shit, they told me they never knew I even cared. They never knew I even felt bad. Like are you blind my dude? Maybe instead of suggesting I go to a psychologist you go visit a freaking ophthalmologist? Huh???

And ooohhh the psychology topic. An absolute deal-fuck-upper for me. Like, yeah, I have no problem to paying a fucking stranger to listen to me and comfort me with basic phrases I can predict. I do not need fucking therapy. My head is fucking alright. I wish instead of trying SO HARD to make me go fuck myself, people around me actually tried just a little to keep me close. All I need is fucking affection which I UNFORTUNATELY can't get from a random ass dude.
I just wish I was loved. Some people say I'm unapproachable and that's such a lazy take. Like yeah I won't lick your butt for your attention, sorry.

The only guy who understood was my dad. And he fucking died on me. He fucking dead-cheeks unga-bunga sweesh-swoosh died on my ass. Absolutely ironic.

People only want to talk about the weather, favorite sports team, etc, when it comes to meaningful conversations they go dumb. I feel you. People always funnel your mental health issues into therapy + meds as if it's a golden cure to all. Oftentimes they are so focused on themselves they barely catch sight of those around them. Pms are open if u want to talk, not a very good conversationalist but I can try if u want to vent

 

[doneforlife]

People only want to talk about the weather, favorite sports team, etc, when it comes to meaningful conversations they go dumb. I feel you. People always funnel your mental health issues into therapy + meds as if it's a golden cure to all. Oftentimes they are so focused on themselves they barely catch sight of those around them. Pms are open if u want to talk, not a very good conversationalist but I can try if u want to vent

You are so right!. I keep things to myself just because of this. I don't want to discuss death and suicide with people because of obvious reasons. I have..kind of shut down. Don't even know what to talk about anymore...

 

[FadingSunshine]

You are so right!. I keep things to myself just because of this. I don't want to discuss death and suicide with people because of obvious reasons. I have..kind of shut down. Don't even know what to talk about anymore...

Fuuuck I remember feeling like that. I felt like an empty shell, a mindless freak in my old body. Now I've embraced the void and came out the other side.

 

[b.ambi]

Well, uh… Some, so to say, character witnesses describe me as cold, somewhat composed. I'm unapproachable because I seem to be arrogant and narcissistic to some people, from what I've heard about myself through the grapevine. But no matter how much I try to reflect on it, I just don't see the source. I don't understand where it's coming from, because on the inside I'm panicked instead of composed and self-loathing instead of self-loving. I'm at a loss.

Perhaps your struggle for composure can seem over compensatory to the prying eyes of others. Not meant as a dig, just some nuance. Narcissism is a popular word people like to through around, I think it makes them feel like they've successfully analysed someone without being judgemental (ironic I know), but from the limited amount I do know, narcissism does stem from deep self-instability and self preserving coping mechanisms; so perhaps that's what they're picking up on but failing to do so empathically. Unfortunately, it seems the capacity for people to allow themselves to genuinely hold space for another's struggles is non existent and often discouraged as you say. I know what you mean, it's like they go into a frenzy of awkwardness and pitying sighs

 

[olearius]

I am absolutely baffled. I'm astonished at how people around me just do not give a one out of billions of fucks. Just pure ignorance, the fuck-it on its own. I am absolutely fucking done.

Nobody even tries to look like they care. I don't traumadump on anyone and I never will, because these motherfuckers get annoyed any time I try to talk about something sliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiightly harsh. I don't even attempt to talk about CTB or my father's death. I try to say something in the lines of "feeling kinda lonely" and get no-brainer fucking responses. It's like I just don't exist.

I fucking have 100 people around me on everyday basis bc I'm a manager of a small business. Of course there is no fucking reason to vent to my employees, they won't listen anyway. Talking to boss, meh.
My close surroundings, people I call friends, try their best to fucking troll me idk? I have no idea otherwise, why they tend to make things worse by giving bullshit advice like ohhh that's bad get a new hobby. Fucking hobby. I have like a thousand of those. I have an abundance of stuff and people around me yet I am SO COMPLETELY LONELY and I GUESS FUCKING INVISIBLE. Like oh man I should be a superhero because of my fucking superpower to turn into nothing.

I use it on a regular basis btw. Currently I have about two black-ish bloody wounds I made with a razor. Did not even attempt to hide them. Nobody noticed. Fucking ninja, man.

Once I had the nerve to ask WHY my friend didn't give a shit, they told me they never knew I even cared. They never knew I even felt bad. Like are you blind my dude? Maybe instead of suggesting I go to a psychologist you go visit a freaking ophthalmologist? Huh???

And ooohhh the psychology topic. An absolute deal-fuck-upper for me. Like, yeah, I have no problem to paying a fucking stranger to listen to me and comfort me with basic phrases I can predict. I do not need fucking therapy. My head is fucking alright. I wish instead of trying SO HARD to make me go fuck myself, people around me actually tried just a little to keep me close. All I need is fucking affection which I UNFORTUNATELY can't get from a random ass dude.
I just wish I was loved. Some people say I'm unapproachable and that's such a lazy take. Like yeah I won't lick your butt for your attention, sorry.

The only guy who understood was my dad. And he fucking died on me. He fucking dead-cheeks unga-bunga sweesh-swoosh died on my ass. Absolutely ironic.

I say this with the kindest intent but uh, are you autistic?

I am. And let me tell you, my whole life, I grew up hearing how people were scared of me, or thought I hated them, or people constantly asked me why I was mad because of my face and flat affect.

And now because of those things people come to me in crisis because I seem composed and thoughtful. I'm the secret keeper to everyone.

This even happens when I'm in public at the store. People mistake me for an employee at least once a week - I could literally have a shopping cart and they won't see it because of the Adult Who Knows Things vibe I give off. It's just the 'tism.

And it's very lonely because rarely is it reciprocal. No one is looking long enough or hard enough at me to realize they've known me for several years and know nothing about me as a person.

If I had to guess, you're not cold but you likely show this through atypical ways, and the people around you don't recognize it because they are neurotypical.
.
Just something to consider. I'm sorry you're so lonely.

Edit to add: undiagnosed autistic people are often labeled as narcissistic; you may wanna Google the double-empathy problem to learn more about communication incongruence