Please, help me!

[SadGirl]

I was diagnosed with ADHD (severe) and Bipolar Affective Disorder (with severe depression). I've been taking Ritalin, but it hasn't helped so far. It's been 18 days, and I haven't felt focused or attentive. Speaking of my mother, my father died 7 months ago. My mother was separated from him at the registry office. However, here in Brazil, you can prove a stable union for 2 years, and they were together for 16 years. By law, our house is half mine and half my mother's, since I'm an only child. We have a car that's still in my father's name. And there's money to go out because my mother won the lawsuit. She doesn't want to share anything with me. I want to share it, but she's arrogant and greedy. On top of everything, she treats me badly, insults me, and puts me down even more than I already am. Today I took a knife and put it to my throat in front of her. And no, I have nowhere to go. My girlfriend doesn't want to move in with me now. I take benzodiazepines, antidepressants and Ritalin. However, I've been using cocaine lately. I prefer ketamine and codeine and marijuana, but the doctors have kind of "forbidden" me from using drugs, but I can't stop, and I don't even know if I want to stop. This was a rant. Can anyone give me a friendly word?

 

[whywere]

My heart breaks for you, my awesome friend. I have mentioned this on here a lot about my "parents" never ever wanting me, and I feel your pain and I TRULY want you to know that you are a vibrant, caring and just a loving soul.

You are WONDERFUL period, and never ever let anyone tell you differently.

When my "parents" died they left my younger sister over 1 million (USD), my older brother got over 9 million (USD) and I got zero, pure greed. You know what to this day both are angry and fighting each other all the time, my 1 cousin tells me all about it and I am happy, and I have YOU as a heartfelt friend who is so beautiful.

I wish with all my heart that you could get your own flat and get the hell away from your mother, as she sounds so toxic, and you do NOT deserve any form of that kind of abuse period.

You are family to/for me, I have no family nor friends, and you are a pure soul with so much not only to give yourself but others.

Lots of love, extremely kind and thoughtful vibes, brilliant blue sunny skies with fields of lovely flowers, with hugs forever my good friend.

Walter

 

[VargosMelon]

I'm sorry for your loss, it makes sense that you are struggling with focus and being attentive, your plate is full. You lost your dad, that alone is hard and can throw someone off center. But your also dealing with an estate battle, mounting on additional external and internal factors. Life sounds weighty.

Edit: You mentioned the house is half yours, that means you deserve to be there. If so, you have the right to feel safe and be comfortable. Just a reminder, make sure to do so, even if in small ways, like if you have your own room -- let it become a temproary reprieve. Rest as needed and desired.

Also you mentioned putting a knife to your throat, that concerned me -- please take care of yourself -- extra, extra hard considering your mother's abuse and your situation.

 

[theboy]

Oh, how terrible

what happened when you took the knife?

You can still change the scales, friend

 

[SadGirl]

My heart breaks for you, my awesome friend. I have mentioned this on here a lot about my "parents" never ever wanting me, and I feel your pain and I TRULY want you to know that you are a vibrant, caring and just a loving soul.

You are WONDERFUL period, and never ever let anyone tell you differently.

When my "parents" died they left my younger sister over 1 million (USD), my older brother got over 9 million (USD) and I got zero, pure greed. You know what to this day both are angry and fighting each other all the time, my 1 cousin tells me all about it and I am happy, and I have YOU as a heartfelt friend who is so beautiful.

I wish with all my heart that you could get your own flat and get the hell away from your mother, as she sounds so toxic, and you do NOT deserve any form of that kind of abuse period.

You are family to/for me, I have no family nor friends, and you are a pure soul with so much not only to give yourself but others.

Lots of love, extremely kind and thoughtful vibes, brilliant blue sunny skies with fields of lovely flowers, with hugs forever my good friend.

Walter

My heart even warmed. I haven't received attention and affection like this for a while, even though I have a girlfriend. She kind of leaves me aside a little, which hurts too, anyway. Thank you so much for your affection, it helped me a lot, and you are also my family and have a little space in my heart. Hugs.

I'm sorry for your loss, it makes sense that you are struggling with focus and being attentive, your plate is full. You lost your dad, that alone is hard and can throw someone off center. But your also dealing with an estate battle, mounting on additional external and internal factors. Life sounds weighty.

Edit: You mentioned the house is half yours, that means you deserve to be there. If so, you have the right to feel safe and be comfortable. Just a reminder, make sure to do so, even if in small ways, like if you have your own room -- let it become a temproary reprieve. Rest as needed and desired.

Also you mentioned putting a knife to your throat, that concerned me -- please take care of yourself -- extra, extra hard considering your mother's abuse and your situation.

Thank you for your concern and advice. Another one that warmed my heart.

Oh, how terrible

what happened when you took the knife?

You can still change the scales, friend

I just threatened with the knife.

 

[Buh-bye!]

I was diagnosed with ADHD (severe) and Bipolar Affective Disorder (with severe depression). I've been taking Ritalin, but it hasn't helped so far. It's been 18 days, and I haven't felt focused or attentive. Speaking of my mother, my father died 7 months ago. My mother was separated from him at the registry office. However, here in Brazil, you can prove a stable union for 2 years, and they were together for 16 years. By law, our house is half mine and half my mother's, since I'm an only child. We have a car that's still in my father's name. And there's money to go out because my mother won the lawsuit. She doesn't want to share anything with me. I want to share it, but she's arrogant and greedy. On top of everything, she treats me badly, insults me, and puts me down even more than I already am. Today I took a knife and put it to my throat in front of her. And no, I have nowhere to go. My girlfriend doesn't want to move in with me now. I take benzodiazepines, antidepressants and Ritalin. However, I've been using cocaine lately. I prefer ketamine and codeine and marijuana, but the doctors have kind of "forbidden" me from using drugs, but I can't stop, and I don't even know if I want to stop. This was a rant. Can anyone give me a friendly word?

Man that's so messed up. Such shitty parents who know nothing but selfishness, they make me so f'cking angry. Rest in peace to your dad but i really don't have a good official advice in such a case. It's just horrible all that you need to go through.