Help Please convince me to stop arguing with pro lifers. It's causing so much distress

[DepressedSloth]

Idk why but I'm feeling this need to constantly argue; it's gone to a level of me not wanting to argue with regular folk, but being drawn to argue with different therapists on therapy subreddits; like I feel the need to prove to myself that I can successfully debate them on the topic of suicide. And I can. I'm really good at it too. But this doesn't bring me any satisfaction. Even if I think I've already proven to myself and them that I can make rational arguments against all the different types of anti suicide rhetoric, and that I can debate more efficiently and rationally than they can, I still feel frustrated and unhappy and alone. I get nothing out of it. Maybe I feel some inflated sense of responsibility like I need to rhetorically fight for the rights of disabled people who are suffering and want out. Or I'm trying to find some meaning and purpose by sharing my views on what's wrong with the pervasive extreme anti suicide stance of people including mental health professionals. But this is taking a toll on my mental health. I need to stop. Please give me some kind of encouragement to stop debating with these people lol

 

[mandyjohnuk]

Hello. Since these people are paid to persuade us from any act of self harm I think you should only talk to like minded people like your good self. Like a lot of us here. These so called experts do not and can never fully understand how we feel and how we see the world. Depending on your location maybe group counseling would be good. Not to debate with anyone but to befriend perhaps others there in a similar situation to yours. Good luck. X

 

[DepressedSloth]

Hello. Since these people are paid to persuade us from any act of self harm I think you should only talk to like minded people like your good self. Like a lot of us here. These so called experts do not and can never fully understand how we feel and how we see the world. Depending on your location maybe group counseling would be good. Not to debate with anyone but to befriend perhaps others there in a similar situation to yours. Good luck. X

Thank you. That's a good way of putting it.

 

[Zegers]

Everyone has their own views so I don't argue with anyone anymore (subtle art of not giving a fck helped me with it)

 

[Seeking_Peace]

You can't change their mind so don't waste your energy on it. Just as they can't change yours.

 

[Eternaloblivionplea]

Idk why but I'm feeling this need to constantly argue; it's gone to a level of me not wanting to argue with regular folk, but being drawn to argue with different therapists on therapy subreddits; like I feel the need to prove to myself that I can successfully debate them on the topic of suicide. And I can. I'm really good at it too. But this doesn't bring me any satisfaction. Even if I think I've already proven to myself and them that I can make rational arguments against all the different types of anti suicide rhetoric, and that I can debate more efficiently and rationally than they can, I still feel frustrated and unhappy and alone. I get nothing out of it. Maybe I feel some inflated sense of responsibility like I need to rhetorically fight for the rights of disabled people who are suffering and want out. Or I'm trying to find some meaning and purpose by sharing my views on what's wrong with the pervasive extreme anti suicide stance of people including mental health professionals. But this is taking a toll on my mental health. I need to stop. Please give me some kind of encouragement to stop debating with these people lol

It's a difficult position to hold. I'd say the majority of people are pro life, this is because they have things in place that make life worth living, in addition to not having severe mental and or physical suffering. My experience with mental health professionals is they seem to thing that suicide is never rational, only an emotional decision, so trying to persuade them otherwise with rational arguments is tricky. Also part of their job is to keep people alive regardless of circumstances. Imagine being Darwin back in the day trying to explain the theory of evolution to the religious consensus that thought that all life was God's creation.

 

[Well-Edited Chaos]

I get nothing out of it. Maybe I feel some inflated sense of responsibility like I need to rhetorically fight for the rights of disabled people who are suffering and want out. Or I'm trying to find some meaning and purpose by sharing my views on what's wrong with the pervasive extreme anti suicide stance of people

One thing I've learned is that, if you keep repeating a behaviour, you're getting something out of it.

tbh, it sounds to me like you're trying to convince yourself that suicide is a valid option. It sounds like a crazy thing to say, given where this forum is hosted, but I wonder if maybe you've been struggling lately, getting away from progress you made in your recovery, and just don't want to admit it to yourself?

I know that's sthg that I found hard about recovery - admitting that things were still a struggle, even as I was fighting to make them better (b/c if we're fighting to make life better, but life is still hard, maybe we're "failing" at recovery too - and that feeling really sucks).

Does any of this resonate?

 

[DepressedSloth]

One thing I've learned is that, if you keep repeating a behaviour, you're getting something out of it.

tbh, it sounds to me like you're trying to convince yourself that suicide is a valid option. It sounds like a crazy thing to say, given where this forum is hosted, but I wonder if maybe you've been struggling lately, getting away from progress you made in your recovery, and just don't want to admit it to yourself?

I know that's sthg that I found hard about recovery - admitting that things were still a struggle, even as I was fighting to make them better (b/c if we're fighting to make life better, but life is still hard, maybe we're "failing" at recovery too - and that feeling really sucks).

Does any of this resonate?

Hmmm I suppose I get a sense of confidence in my point of view. What I don't get out of it is happiness or joy. I suppose being confident in something like being able to argue well doesn't necessarily produce a sense of well being. After all there are plenty of very talented people who still become depressed and lonely. So thank you for the input.

And I dont think I'm trying to convince myself that I believe what I do; I'm trying to convince myself that I'm still capable of making good arguments to support what I already believe. And as for recovery it's been up and down and I don't think I'm in denial of some aspect of it. Basically it's a huge struggle for me and I'm hyper aware of the constant struggle. And if I got completely better I don't believe this would cause a substantial change in my views because I would not want to discount all the people who don't get completely better, or the possibility that things could get worse again. I don't like making assumptions, positive or negative, so my perspective is that sometimes things get better and sometimes they don't and I can't predict the future, but can simply make estimations of probability and value judgments.

Either way, I do hope to get better, and I hope you do to. It's at least worth it to try and to explore options and to make the most of things.