Method Planning to CTB next week w/SN method

[Ob La Dee]

Hello friends. So after two impulsive, failed attempts last December (partial hanging, cutting wrists) I'm planning to ctb next week w/SN. I will be going through with it on my late mother's birthday, August 13th.

A bit about me: I am a 54 year old mother of five kids, 18, 20, 31, 34 and 36. I am currently estranged from my three sons due to my suicide attempts. They don't want to be around my "negative energy" anymore.

I get by on SSI and food stamps (psych disability, $794/month) and I live in a boarding house. I have a roommate here, and she is always home, making it difficult for me to ctb. I will be doing it in my car in a secluded spot. I would prefer to do it in my own bed, but it's simply not realistic. Ctbing in my car feels sad and lonely but it's the only way.

I am not afraid, in fact I almost feel elated now that I have found this method. I was originally going to try the "night night" method (too hard to find the carotid artery) then pong pong seeds (slow, agonizing death) until I stumbled upon SN. This is how I will leave this dreadful world.

I feel somewhat guilty because I know my kids will take it hard - including the ones who are no longer speaking to me - but I feel like I'm out of options. I have thought long and hard about this.

I left instructions in a note to my kids telling them that I don't want an elaborate funeral and that I wish to be cremated. A memorial service will be nice for them when they're ready. I would like the song "Seasons of Love" played at the beginning and "Cabaret" played at the end. No religious mumbo jumbo for me.

Well that's about it. If you're still reading, thanks for letting me get this off my chest. Peace.

 

[Lost Magic]

Hello friends. So after two impulsive, failed attempts last December (partial hanging, cutting wrists) I'm planning to ctb next week w/SN. I will be going through with it on my late mother's birthday, August 13th.

A bit about me: I am a 54 year old mother of five kids, 18, 20, 31, 34 and 36. I am currently estranged from my three sons due to my suicide attempts. They don't want to be around my "negative energy" anymore.

I get by on SSI and food stamps (psych disability, $794/month) and I live in a boarding house. I have a roommate here, and she is always home, making it difficult for me to ctb. I will be doing it in my car in a secluded spot. I would prefer to do it in my own bed, but it's simply not realistic. Ctbing in my car feels sad and lonely but it's the only way.

I am not afraid, in fact I almost feel elated now that I have found this method. I was originally going to try the "night night" method (too hard to find the carotid artery) then pong pong seeds (slow, agonizing death) until I stumbled upon SN. This is how I will leave this dreadful world.

I feel somewhat guilty because I know my kids will take it hard - including the ones who are no longer speaking to me - but I feel like I'm out of options. I have thought long and hard about this.

I left instructions in a note to my kids telling them that I don't want an elaborate funeral and that I wish to be cremated. A memorial service will be nice for them when they're ready. I would like the song "Seasons of Love" played at the beginning and "Cabaret" played at the end. No religious mumbo jumbo for me.

Well that's about it. If you're still reading, thanks for letting me get this off my chest. Peace.

Do you have a note for your kids or anything? Maybe just a little something in the note to tell them that you have made peace with your decision and that there wasn't anything they could have done to prevent your demise. Just a thought.

 

[Ob La Dee]

Do you have a note for your kids or anything? Maybe just a little something in the note to tell them that you have made peace with your decision and that there wasn't anything they could have done to prevent your demise. Just a thought.

Absolutely. I wrote a rather lengthy note and assured them that it isn't their fault and that I gave this a great deal of thought.

 

[FuneralCry]

This world certainly is dreadful. I wish you peace if this is what you decide to do.

 

[Nametagged]

Make sure you read as much as you can about SN and that you have everything needed. Doing it in the car is very risky and if you are caught you could end up in a psychiatric hospital for a long time. If you are 100% sure about doing this maybe you could find a cheap motel for one night. Please be careful and take your time making any decisions.

 

[Ob La Dee]

Make sure you read as much as you can about SN and that you have everything needed. Doing it in the car is very risky and if you are caught you could end up in a psychiatric hospital for a long time. If you are 100% sure about doing this maybe you could find a cheap motel for one night. Please be careful and take your time making any decisions.

A motel isn't a bad idea, although there aren't too many cheap ones here on the island.

 

[aminend]

I hope u peace and safe journey

 

[Ob La Dee]

This world certainly is dreadful. I wish you peace if this is what you decide to do.

Thank you.

 

[Lost Magic]

Yeah, I really want to drink my SN this year as well. I hope we all find some peace.

 

[ihatemylife]

Hello friends. So after two impulsive, failed attempts last December (partial hanging, cutting wrists) I'm planning to ctb next week w/SN. I will be going through with it on my late mother's birthday, August 13th.

A bit about me: I am a 54 year old mother of five kids, 18, 20, 31, 34 and 36. I am currently estranged from my three sons due to my suicide attempts. They don't want to be around my "negative energy" anymore.

I get by on SSI and food stamps (psych disability, $794/month) and I live in a boarding house. I have a roommate here, and she is always home, making it difficult for me to ctb. I will be doing it in my car in a secluded spot. I would prefer to do it in my own bed, but it's simply not realistic. Ctbing in my car feels sad and lonely but it's the only way.

I am not afraid, in fact I almost feel elated now that I have found this method. I was originally going to try the "night night" method (too hard to find the carotid artery) then pong pong seeds (slow, agonizing death) until I stumbled upon SN. This is how I will leave this dreadful world.

I feel somewhat guilty because I know my kids will take it hard - including the ones who are no longer speaking to me - but I feel like I'm out of options. I have thought long and hard about this.

I left instructions in a note to my kids telling them that I don't want an elaborate funeral and that I wish to be cremated. A memorial service will be nice for them when they're ready. I would like the song "Seasons of Love" played at the beginning and "Cabaret" played at the end. No religious mumbo jumbo for me.

Well that's about it. If you're still reading, thanks for letting me get this off my chest. Peace.

I wish things didn't get to this point for you. Hoping for a miracle to take place for you before the time comes.

 

[Ob La Dee]

I wish things didn't get to this point for you. Hoping for a miracle to take place for you before the time comes.

I think it's unlikely but thank you...
Here's my concern: I'm expecting the SN to be delivered by Amazon sometime over the next few days. I'm hoping it will just be in a regular amazon box and not marked as any type of dangerous chemical because I live in a boarding house with 17 other women and they all know that I have made attempts in the past, so a label like that will catch their attention. What would be a good cover story if someone else finds the package before I do and it's marked "dangerous" or "caution"?

 

[motel rooms]

I would like the song "Seasons of Love" played at the beginning and "Cabaret" played at the end. No religious mumbo jumbo for me.

I hope everything goes as planned... Sorry if that doesn't sound as noble as "Hope a miracle happens for you". What a weird thing to say to someone who states they don't need any religious mumbo jumbo.

I used to have a girlfriend
Known as Elsie
With whom I shared
Four sordid rooms in Chelsea
She wasn't what you'd call
A blushing flower
As a matter of fact
She rented by the hour

The day she died the neighbors
Came to snicker
"Well, that's what comes
From too much pills and liquor"
But when I saw her laid out like a queen
She was the happiest corpse
I'd ever seen

I think of Elsie to this very day
I remember how she'd turn to me and say
"What good is sitting all alone in your room?
Come hear the music play
Life is a cabaret, old chum
Come to the cabaret!"

 

[Ob La Dee]

Omg your reply just made my entire day. Thank you!

 

[Cant go back]

What would be a good cover story if someone else finds the package before I do and it's marked "dangerous" or "caution"?

Items with lithium ion batteries sometimes have warning labels on them. You could tell them it's a dash cam or something.

 

[At_The_End]

I wish you all the peace and comfort that comes w/ your journey. My only suggestion would be for you to at least attempt to resolve your estrangment w/ your sons prior to CTB. I state this a son and a man. Love and God Speed.