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otozo123

Member
Aug 3, 2023
6
I plan to ctb tomorrow evening using the shallow water blackout method. If anyone has any advice or commentary please let me know. One point I'm slightly unclear about is how long approximately to hyperventilate before sticking my head underwater.

I'm doing it because of a broken heart -- a death which at least Plato thought the gods look favorably upon.
 
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Kikoo

Kikoo

Sing me to sleep ♡
Jun 12, 2023
165
How long can you hold your breath?
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
38,889
I don't really know much about that method but anyway I wish you the best with your plans and I hope you find the freedom you search for.
 
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ApparentlyNot

ApparentlyNot

Thanks for all the cats.
Jul 8, 2023
145
I'm sorry your heart is broken, how did it happen if I may ask?
 
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FindingHome

Student
Aug 4, 2023
175
I hope you find the healing you need!
 
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otozo123

Member
Aug 3, 2023
6
How long can you hold your breath?
on average around 1min 20sec, max around 1min 40
I'm sorry your heart is broken, how did it happen if I may ask?
yes you may ask. it's very simple, I was seeing a girl, I feel in love with her, I thought she loved me too, but then she suddenly changed her mind without any clear explanation
 
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fwompie

fwompie

pit rat
Aug 9, 2023
235
on average around 1min 20sec, max around 1min 40

yes you may ask. it's very simple, I was seeing a girl, I feel in love with her, I thought she loved me too, but then she suddenly changed her mind without any clear explanation
Heart break sucks. Honestly if you could, wait it out for a few months. There are so many people on this planet that you will love and adore. In my honest opinion heart break is not a reason enough to end your life so young. It hurts like hell, but she's not everything.

That might not change your mind and I'm definitely not prolife, but it won't be endless suffering although it might feel like that right now.
 
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Aergia

Aergia

Mage
Jun 20, 2023
527
Heart break sucks. Honestly if you could, wait it out for a few months. There are so many people on this planet that you will love and adore. In my honest opinion heart break is not a reason enough to end your life so young. It hurts like hell, but she's not everything.

That might not change your mind and I'm definitely not prolife, but it won't be endless suffering although it might feel like that right now.
Yeah, I second this. Please consider waiting a bit, OP. If you can never heal from this then I can understand ctb but if this happened recently maybe give yourself a chance to try first?
 
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otozo123

Member
Aug 3, 2023
6
Heart break sucks. Honestly if you could, wait it out for a few months. There are so many people on this planet that you will love and adore. In my honest opinion heart break is not a reason enough to end your life so young. It hurts like hell, but she's not everything.

That might not change your mind and I'm definitely not prolife, but it won't be endless suffering although it might feel like that right now.
I understand where you're coming from, but she was everything for me. I am not all that young either (just turned 31). I have experienced many heartbreaks before, and I don't think I'll ever find whoever I'm looking for in this world. So I'd rather die because of this, although I realize may sound dramatic
 
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sevenkarmas

Student
Oct 10, 2022
170
I understand where you're coming from, but she was everything for me. I am not all that young either (just turned 31). I have experienced many heartbreaks before, and I don't think I'll ever find whoever I'm looking for in this world. So I'd rather die because of this, although I realize may sound dramatic
My wife walked out after 29 years of marriage (it would have been 30 years August 14). Divorce finalized July 28. Still no explanation. On top of that, she poisoned my kids against me and my entire family. My mom, almost 70 years old, use to take them on vacations and would spend time with them whenever she could. I don't understand why they cut me off, and I sure as hell don't know why they cut her off completely. With that said, I was planning on taking my life in January of this year. Circumstances prevented me from doing so. Over time I didn't meet anyone else, and to be honest, I didn't (and still don't) want to meet anyone. I was doing better until the divorce was finalized. I had planned to CTB this week, but I needed to complete some paperwork (last will and testament and changing beneficiaries on my 401k) that I am not able to finish until later this week or early next week. It's important because my mom has very little income and would still try to pay for a funeral and all the other things that come with death.

What I'm saying is this: You can choose when you want to CTB. You don't have to rush it. It seems like you still don't have a firm grasp on the method and process. Research your method. I was recently diagnosed with a joint disease that causes great pain to my hips, shoulders, neck and back. Heartache from the breakup hurts worse. I understand the pain you feel, but take the time to properly plan. Rushing it could actually create more problems for you.
 
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fwompie

fwompie

pit rat
Aug 9, 2023
235
I understand where you're coming from, but she was everything for me. I am not all that young either (just turned 31). I have experienced many heartbreaks before, and I don't think I'll ever find whoever I'm looking for in this world. So I'd rather die because of this, although I realize may sound dramatic
I suppose I made some assumptions. 31 is still so young though but I understand it was a more serious relationship. Like the other user said, take your time. You can always choose to die, best to be absolutely sure about it and having a fail proof plan.
 
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Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
11,522
I'm sorry you have to go through this. It's so awful. I wish you all the best with your plan may you find peace! Good luck!
 
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Lumenier

Member
Aug 12, 2023
5
If it's for heartbreak alone, I'd suggest waiting awhile to see if you recover from the heartbreak. You could do whatever you can to fill the void in your soul that what you lost used to fill- sometimes, you might find the pain lessens and you find other things worth sticking around for. It can be hard to find likeminded people though, I know that much is true and a valid reason to decide not to if you don't have the energy. But, also, on that note, someone out there is looking for someone like you too and might be losing the energy I guess.
 
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otozo123

Member
Aug 3, 2023
6
If it's for heartbreak alone, I'd suggest waiting awhile to see if you recover from the heartbreak. You could do whatever you can to fill the void in your soul that what you lost used to fill- sometimes, you might find the pain lessens and you find other things worth sticking around for. It can be hard to find likeminded people though, I know that much is true and a valid reason to decide not to if you don't have the energy. But, also, on that note, someone out there is looking for someone like you too and might be losing the energy I guess.
Thanks, is nice of you to suggest. It's just been already over 2 months now, and I'm still basically spending most of my days incapacitated by grief and self-hatred. Also I feel I don't want to be with someone else than her, no one else interests me and sleeping with other people for example just makes me feel more depressed and empty inside. She doesn't answer my calls or texts anymore and seems pretty set on forgetting and disowning me, so there's little possibility of sorting things out with her. Maybe that's not a bad idea, and perhaps I would do the same if I could, but she just causes me such impossible amount of pain and regret, I'm not entirely certain why :/ ... I tried to talk about it with a few therapists, but they were largely unable to offer any remedy. I have good things in life too, and I don't think the world is all bad, but the pain is so overwhelming, and it doesn't seem to be lessening at all even after a significant amount of time. I can't deal with it anymore, and I just think my whole life was a huge mistake that I want to at least marginally rectify by putting an end to it.
btw this method didn't work for me, but maybe I just didn't try hard enough, i donno.. I was hyperventilating for at least 5 minutes or so very strongly and did everything according to the instructions so far as I understood them right
 
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Lumenier

Member
Aug 12, 2023
5
Thanks, is nice of you to suggest. It's just been already over 2 months now, and I'm still basically spending most of my days incapacitated by grief and self-hatred. Also I feel I don't want to be with someone else than her, no one else interests me and sleeping with other people for example just makes me feel more depressed and empty inside. She doesn't answer my calls or texts anymore and seems pretty set on forgetting and disowning me, so there's little possibility of sorting things out with her. Maybe that's not a bad idea, and perhaps I would do the same if I could, but she just causes me such impossible amount of pain and regret, I'm not entirely certain why :/ ... I tried to talk about it with a few therapists, but they were largely unable to offer any remedy. I have good things in life too, and I don't think the world is all bad, but the pain is so overwhelming, and it doesn't seem to be lessening at all even after a significant amount of time. I can't deal with it anymore, and I just think my whole life was a huge mistake that I want to at least marginally rectify by putting an end to it.
btw this method didn't work for me, but maybe I just didn't try hard enough, i donno.. I was hyperventilating for at least 5 minutes or so very strongly and did everything according to the instructions so far as I understood them right
In my experience, therapists are very deeply unhelpful and even damaging. Talking to them only for them to give the message that they don't know how to respond while society screams that they're the go-to-solution, some form of goddamn sages- it makes you feel more helpless and broken than you really are. As for this feeling you have- I've been there before, but, I find that people who would make me or let me feel that way aren't worth missing anyhow. Who was she? And why do you need her to love you so badly? I honestly wouldn't advise anyone to cbt before coming to an understanding with themselves about what their reasons truly are.