Places to CTB

[BleedingHeart]

Hi, new here. I've been lurking for about a month and trying to get together my plan. So far, I think I've settled on SN with some tweaks that hopefully I can get ironed out with some help.
For now, I am worried about where to CTB. I'm home all day alone, but if I pass away here during the day hours, I have no one to pickup my kids from the bus and I'm worried that the day hours may not be enough time for me to pass. Also, I'd rather not have my husband/family find me even though I'd be most comfortable at home. I don't want to ruin this home for them though either. The other option is a hotel but I'm afraid of making noise and being discovered too soon; I know I'll be very anxious and nervous going through with it and that won't be something I'll be able to calm myself from. I'm also afraid of telling my husband I'm going to visit family or something because he knows I'm not in a good mental state and checks up on me and would likely figure out I'm not with my family fairly quickly. (And again, no where to really go to CTB because fear of getting discovered.) I've looked into Airbnb a little too, but again fear getting caught and I'll be alone and quite nervous so I'm sure I'll be checked on or bothered. Forgive me if I'm nervous and a bit all over the place; my mental health and concentration has been in decline. Any suggestions would be great. Thanks so much.

 

[Rachel74]

What will your method be?

 

[Stan]

Hi, new here. I've been lurking for about a month and trying to get together my plan. So far, I think I've settled on SN with some tweaks that hopefully I can get ironed out with some help.
For now, I am worried about where to CTB. I'm home all day alone, but if I pass away here during the day hours, I have no one to pickup my kids from the bus and I'm worried that the day hours may not be enough time for me to pass. Also, I'd rather not have my husband/family find me even though I'd be most comfortable at home. I don't want to ruin this home for them though either. The other option is a hotel but I'm afraid of making noise and being discovered too soon; I know I'll be very anxious and nervous going through with it and that won't be something I'll be able to calm myself from. I'm also afraid of telling my husband I'm going to visit family or something because he knows I'm not in a good mental state and checks up on me and would likely figure out I'm not with my family fairly quickly. (And again, no where to really go to CTB because fear of getting discovered.) I've looked into Airbnb a little too, but again fear getting caught and I'll be alone and quite nervous so I'm sure I'll be checked on or bothered. Forgive me if I'm nervous and a bit all over the place; my mental health and concentration has been in decline. Any suggestions would be great. Thanks so much.

Some hotels offer early check in facilities. Try and find one and book in advance. You won't be making noise. Just put the TV on as background noise and put the 'do not disturb' sign on the door. I appreciate the fact you have looked at the consequences and the impact you might have on those that find you.

 

[BleedingHeart]

What will your method be?

SN is pretty much only thing I can see myself trying to do. So it's SN.

 

[Rachel74]

SN is pretty much only thing I can see myself trying to do. So it's SN.

Then follow it properly using emetics etc and you'll have no problem. You'll fail without emetics.

 

[BleedingHeart]

Some hotels offer early check in facilities. Try and find one and book in advance. You won't be making noise. Just put the TV on as background noise and put the 'do not disturb' sign on the door. I appreciate the fact you have looked at the consequences and the impact you might have on those that find you.

Thanks for the advice. :)
I am a worrier by nature and CTB only adds to my fears. I also worry I'll fall or seize and be found or panic and try to go for help and want to avoid that (which is why I wish I could do it at home, but won't.) I suppose hotel is the best choice overall. Now to figure out how to get my husband to NOT ask any questions on where I'm going (no idea what to tell him.)- if I say family, he is likely to be checking in on me or checking in with them to see if I've arrived safely because he's been worried about my mental state and it's been hard to hide since I'm in bed a lot and isolating.

Then follow it properly using emetics etc and you'll have no problem. You'll fail without emetics.

I worry about the side effects of meto and others and the side effects stopping me from being able to CTB (whether I have side effects during a regime or during a stat dose- compromising my ability to CTB.)- so I had been leaning toward using the Quetiapine since it was listed as having antiemetic quality in @Stan's SN protocol. But I don't already take it daily. I was hoping it could be used in place of meto and the like... wishful thinking?

 

[Stan]

If you are home all day alone without anyone watching you, then I would suggest an early checkin at a nearby hotel should not raise eyebrows.

 

[BleedingHeart]

If you are home all day alone without anyone watching you, then I would suggest an early checkin at a nearby hotel should not raise eyebrows.

Unfortunately I'm the one who gets our kids off the bus each day in the afternoon. If I'm at a hotel they wouldn't have anyone to pick them up in the afternoon and asking my husband to do it and then disappearing would raise suspicion for sure. I have no logical excuse to give him for why I couldn't get them off the bus and ask him to come home from work early to get them instead. :(
Ideally, I'd take a Friday evening and say I'm going to visit my family for weekend and then head to a hotel and CTB. But they're all concerned in their own ways for me and I fear them all calling/texting each other to confirm my plans of visiting and when I've arrived and whatnot. Sigh...

 

[lymbo]

Hi, new here. I've been lurking for about a month and trying to get together my plan. So far, I think I've settled on SN with some tweaks that hopefully I can get ironed out with some help.
For now, I am worried about where to CTB. I'm home all day alone, but if I pass away here during the day hours, I have no one to pickup my kids from the bus and I'm worried that the day hours may not be enough time for me to pass. Also, I'd rather not have my husband/family find me even though I'd be most comfortable at home. I don't want to ruin this home for them though either. The other option is a hotel but I'm afraid of making noise and being discovered too soon; I know I'll be very anxious and nervous going through with it and that won't be something I'll be able to calm myself from. I'm also afraid of telling my husband I'm going to visit family or something because he knows I'm not in a good mental state and checks up on me and would likely figure out I'm not with my family fairly quickly. (And again, no where to really go to CTB because fear of getting discovered.) I've looked into Airbnb a little too, but again fear getting caught and I'll be alone and quite nervous so I'm sure I'll be checked on or bothered. Forgive me if I'm nervous and a bit all over the place; my mental health and concentration has been in decline. Any suggestions would be great. Thanks so much.

heartbreakyng.
may y ask your reason for ctb, u seems to have a lovely famyly

 

[BleedingHeart]

It's a very long story that would be very hard to articulate I'm afraid and I'm exhausted. and technically my husband and I are no longer together because of some of my choices in life, so that adds to my reasons but mental health is a big one.