Photos when everything was OK

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

Do you have photos in your house when everything was OK? I always want to go back the time some pics were taken when I look at them.

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

there's a photo of when i was a baby on the fridge (don't know why). wasn't really okay, but babies don't remember anything, so that's the closest to okay i'll get.

there was a photo of me in 2nd or 3rd grade on the fridge, too, but i tore it off because i couldn't stand looking at it.

 

[Sinkinshyp]

yes I have a photo of me and my sons together. Some of us fishing off our dock that were taken right before my older son died in a car accident. The photos are painful to look at because I just want my son but it also reminds me of a time of happiness. I wish I could have a time machine and go back to that time and just stay there.

 

[deadbeat]

My mom gave me a bunch of my childhood photos and I look through them occasionally. I wish I could go back and try to fix it all so I could've grown up to be a normal person.

 

[Deleted member 18655]

Yes. I have a picture of myself, taken in my favourite place, by someone I adore, and I'm smiling - from the depths of my being. I went to a quiet room to have the photo taken. On the other side of the door were all of the people who mean anything to me. All in one place. It was such a good day, every week for months and months.

I can't look at it now. I'm going to take liberties as having been diagnosed with DID: she's effectively dead, as is everything attached to her once perfect moment in time.

 

[Wayfaerer]

I barely have any photo's of myself over the past 16 years and in none of them was I doing "okay."

Only in my childhood photo's do I share that sentiment.

 

[Cherrypea]

There's a photo I sometimes look at of myself with ex partner and ex friends NYE 1999 and I think that's the last time I was happy..

 

[BitterlyAlive]

there's a photo of when i was a baby on the fridge (don't know why). wasn't really okay, but babies don't remember anything, so that's the closest to okay i'll get.

there was a photo of me in 2nd or 3rd grade on the fridge, too, but i tore it off because i couldn't stand looking at it.

This is so relatable. Even as a kid things weren't okay because of bullying, being an outcast, and parents fighting/drinking. I can't stand pics of my younger self either. I don't even feel like it's really me, but logically I know it is and I hate it.

 

[Good4Nothing]

Yah, even in childhood photos where I appear to happy I was deeply sad and very angry. My life's been a shit show from day 1.

 

[Fedrea]

Do you have photos in your house when everything was OK? I always want to go back the time some pics were taken when I look at them.

Oh god, constantly do this. It's a time machine I want, not death. But in the absence of that..

 

[Isadeth]

In my photos I can see when the adult issues younger me had to deal with were finally taking their toll. When innocence left.

Any photo after 2006 parts of me were missing after my first son died. Then other photos from 2015-present I can see the tragedies piling on heavier and heavier.

But there's definitely a progression. I know what awful things were happening in the moment those photos were taken. I also wish I had a time machine. I'd take 6 year old me and give myself the stability and love I deserved.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

In my photos I can see when the adult issues younger me had to deal with were finally taking their toll. When innocence left.

Any photo after 2006 parts of me were missing after my first son died. Then other photos from 2015-present I can see the tragedies piling on heavier and heavier.

But there's definitely a progression. I know what awful things were happening in the moment those photos were taken. I also wish I had a time machine. I'd take 6 year old me and give myself the stability and love I deserved.

Sending huge hugs. It sounds like things have been so, so hard. Your comment on 6 year old you reminds me of a type of therapy I've been pushed to try. It's called inner child therapy. Basically, a lot of people have an inner child that is hurting, which affects their adult self (moods, choices, etc). The goal is to be able to reach out to that child and comfort him/her in a way that you weren't able to receive in your youth. You, as said, give your inner child the love and stability that they deserved but didn't get.

 

[inactive]

Ugh, yes... Looking at photos (of anything) that were taken during the most content time of my life trigger the waterworks and pangs in my chest.

 

[madbananas]

Oh yes. Photos when I was a very young child. And it actually makes me really sad to look at them because I feel sorry for the young child (me) even though I hate myself now. It also makes me really sad because looking at them makes me think of how sad the road is ahead for that child... even though it's already done.

 

[Dead beat dad]

Do you have photos in your house when everything was OK? I always want to go back the time some pics were taken when I look at them.

Feel this friend.
I have one tiny singular photo of me from when I was a child, maybe I'm about 5.
It reminds me of a time when innocence and wonder and love and kindness and simplicity was my world.
I take that photo (frame and all) almost everywhere with me.
Once when I thought I'd lost it, I (literally) tore my house apart looking for it.
When I've come super close to CTB I wanted to give it to my mom and dad but since they hate each other and I only have the one picture I am torn as to who to give to.
I weep when I see this picture, but it is so precious to me too.
If the little boy in this picture could see, he would viddy a monster looking back at him. A sad, wretched loser, and at that moment, a piece of him dies inside knowing that is what he will grow up to be and from this awful path there is no escape.

Love and respect friend.
DBD

 

[Meditation guide]

Do you have photos in your house when everything was OK? I always want to go back the time some pics were taken when I look at them.

It makes me too sad to look at old photos. Me riding horses. Me looking healthy and happy. Me with my family. Me on a sled in the snow. Me with my pets. It seems like it was someone else and not me. There is no relation to that person and this person now.

 

[DFFP]

Do you have photos in your house when everything was OK? I always want to go back the time some pics were taken when I look at them.

So true! I would like to go back. I will give my all for that!

 

[DyingAlf]

I only have the one picture I am torn as to who to give to.

Photos can be copied.
Many years ago we took some really old photos into a photo shop & had them copied, they were even able to fix some that had minor damage/scratches.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

No. Photos are about preserving memories of people that you knew and the experiences you had with them, but people and relationships are temporary. There is no point remembering someone or something that will eventually end. Not just this but memories can become distorted over time; those periods in life that you say were okay might not have been as happy as you think - in reality.

 

[muffin222]

No. I was a victim of abuse and control from the time I was a very young child, so any picture of me is a snapshot of a time when I wasn't okay, even the seemingly joyous occasions

 

[Deathbydemo]

I have a photo of my son and I and looking at it breaks my heart because I remember how happy I was when it was taken. He is hugging me and smiling into the camera, we look happy and carefree and things felt really good then. I have lost it all.

 

[Worthless_nobody]

yes! I cleaned up and found an old pic of me. I look at old pics of me and mourn the death of that woman because sadly she died years ago. I'm just left a shell of my former self...

 

[Brick In The Wall]

This is why I don't log onto Facebook anymore. It always hits me right in the feels with those memories.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

Feel this friend.
I have one tiny singular photo of me from when I was a child, maybe I'm about 5.
It reminds me of a time when innocence and wonder and love and kindness and simplicity was my world.
I take that photo (frame and all) almost everywhere with me.
Once when I thought I'd lost it, I (literally) tore my house apart looking for it.
When I've come super close to CTB I wanted to give it to my mom and dad but since they hate each other and I only have the one picture I am torn as to who to give to.
I weep when I see this picture, but it is so precious to me too.
If the little boy in this picture could see, he would viddy a monster looking back at him. A sad, wretched loser, and at that moment, a piece of him dies inside knowing that is what he will grow up to be and from this awful path there is no escape.
View attachment 44697
Love and respect friend.
DBD

I'm so sorry. Photos may hurt or may ourselves feel some comfort by knowing our lives were good at least at some point. Unconsciously happy

This is why I don't log onto Facebook anymore. It always hits me right in the feels with those memories.

I'm so sorry. It depends on the year of the pics in my case.

 

[scorpiooo2]

Picture of me in Florida when I was about seven or eight, it wasn't before the trauma. But it was before I let people fuck me up in the head with what I thought was love, and way before I ruined all my chances of ever being normal.

I just wish I could go back and give myself a fair chance to actually live.

 

[tsuina]

i have too many.
i don't look at them with regret or hatred, strangely enough, even the ones with my father. i miss those days, mostly. i haven't been able to mentally mature very well due to some brain issues, so i guess when i look at the younger me, it's not that weird- i feel just as young as i was then, just a lot more miserable, and i look a lot different and more sickly due to too much weight loss and chronic malnutrition.
but i also feel sad, because i was a happy kid until disaster struck, and i can see on a time table of images my downfall.

 

[Ghost2211]

I look at pics of my little ones when they were babies, and it makes my heart ache I miss those days so much, but looking at them today makes me smile. Makes me feel guilty I'm so sad.

 

[Blank Dreamer]

My mother has so many photo albums that she stores in my room. I can count about 10 or so albums. I've looked at them all before quite a while ago. I have no intention to now. Just photos of my siblings, myself and my parents. I don't know what to think of them. I didn't have a rough childhood really. There were times where my sibling would vent his frustrations at me and times where my dad verbally abused me or my mother. But it was just normal. I was never close to my family. In a way, we're rather dysfunctional. My siblings agree to this too.

Sometimes I look/glance at images of myself as a young child and think nothing of them. As if I don't recognize that child anymore.

The only images that I have that I look back on are the ones I took, all stored on a pc. Middle school, high school and some college images. Some images of my childhood dearest too. They were happier times. I mean, I was also depressed and shit back then too but there were a lot more happier moments back then compared to now. I'd love to go back, but I know I can't. I often wonder what I could've done different in regards to my childhood dearest. Why things went the way they did. And then I find myself moving from one though to the next.

I get conflicted what to do with them once I decide to CTB. Delete them all for good. Or store them away... somewhere.

 

[fat feet]

Do you have photos in your house when everything was OK? I always want to go back the time some pics were taken when I look at them.

My wedding picture. I was so happy, you could see it by the massive smile I had on my face.

 

[membo]

I took a ton of pictures. Many happy memories. They are painful and sad to view now. So I don't. Same goes for music I used to like. I don't like remembering the good times in the past.