Peter Pan Syndrome

[Makko]

I'm a child on the inside. I never became an adult.

My life is a game. My thoughts are fantasy. My feelings are caprice.

I don't see this as stuckage, and don't feel like I'm stunted. I'm just meant to be like this.

I hold the adult world in contempt. It's a dry and grey place full of practicality and devoid of imagination. There can be no happiness for me here, but I can't reach Neverland from this place. I can't reach anything. Death is the only possible portal to something different. I reflect on this every day.

 

[boc]

"To die will be an awfully big adventure"- Peter Pan

 

[LifeQuitter2018]

There's another name for it, called "Puer Aeternus".
Usually such people suffer from Mother Complex.

 

[motel rooms]

There's another name for it, called "Puer Aeternus".
Usually such people suffer from Mother Complex.

https://www.europeanmedical.info/cognitive-therapy/the-unscientific-nature-of-jungs-psychology.html

 

[Insomniac]

It's a dry and grey place full of practicality and devoid of imagination

a lot of adults are having a lot of fun, you just need to be rich for that OP (and hot), sorry lol.

Getting drunk, having sex, going on vacations, holidays, friends, milestones, beautiful landscapes, giving birth, etc.

All those things are truly exciting g if and only if you're rich:)

 

[motel rooms]

a lot of adults are having a lot of fun, you just need to be rich for that OP (and hot), sorry lol.

Getting drunk, having sex, going on vacations, holidays, friends, milestones, beautiful landscapes, giving birth, etc.

All those things are truly exciting g if and only if you're rich:)

You don't get it at all. OP isn't poor & ugly

 

[Insomniac]

You don't get it at all. OP isn't poor & ugly

I mean super rich, not like middle class. I mean rich rich.

You don't get it at all. OP isn't poor & ugly

and super hot also. how do you know OP isn't ugly?

 

[FuneralCry]

Being an adult is tedious and certainly overrated. It is hard to live in a world that you are not meant for.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

I do not think there is too much wrong with being a child on the inside. Why do we make a distinction between child and adult behaviour in the first place? If an adult was observed playing with crayons other people would laugh, and comment that they should not be using crayons since this activity is reserved for children only; in reality reality though anyone should be able to play with crayons, because why not?

In general: there is no "childish" and "mature" activities; there are only age-related rules that are enforced by society.

 

[Makko]

a lot of adults are having a lot of fun, you just need to be rich for that OP (and hot), sorry lol.

Getting drunk, having sex, going on vacations, holidays, friends, milestones, beautiful landscapes, giving birth, etc.

All those things are truly exciting g if and only if you're rich:)

I'm not short on money or attention. Though as you say, social events and luxury consumption are adult pleasures. They won't satisfy the needs of a childlike mind.

There's another name for it, called "Puer Aeternus".
Usually such people suffer from Mother Complex.

I was never "daddy's girl" kind of kid. I'm the "sneaks out of the bedroom window at night to explore the creepy part of town" kind.

In general: there is no "childish" and "mature" activities; there are only age-related rules that are enforced by society.

The important division is not so much between childish and mature activities as it is between childish and mature life priorities.

 

[L-L]

Are you saying that you struggle with the pressure you feel from external sources to prioritise adult concepts, rather than more childish ones?

The important division is not so much between childish and mature activities as it is between childish and mature life priorities.

 

[LastFlowers]

a lot of adults are having a lot of fun, you just need to be rich for that OP (and hot), sorry lol.

Getting drunk, having sex, going on vacations, holidays, friends, milestones, beautiful landscapes, giving birth, etc.

All those things are truly exciting g if and only if you're rich:)

I think it's more that certain privileges can allow people to live in Fairy Tale Land a whole lot longer than others who are without.

It makes me sick when I see it tbf, I want to knock them back into reality and make them feel what the rest of us do, understand and get off their high horse, heads stuck in the damn clouds, killing those on the ground when flaunting their ignorance.

But that's different than longing for the freedom of childhood, having inherent childlike tendencies/needs, and things such as maladaptive daydreaming, so in some fashion, I get where OP is coming from..because of my circumstances I have not been able to "grow up" in the typical ways that others have, while perhaps growing too old-to the point of rot-when it comes to other matters, the ones which are killing me.
..
It's a strange in-between that does not allow a person to mesh well with the outside world, which usually only adds to the reason they had to remove themselves from it in the first place.
When imagination is your only solace, a means of survival vs a peaceful indulgence, you're going to end up as a completely different beast than the party animals or the Instagram cutesy princesses living in cosplay land.
They aren't true children, they are playing at it, the rest of us are caught in a genuine limbo where blending seamlessly into the adult world is just not on the table.

Also..even if I were rich and "hot", I would stay away from sex and having babies lol, but I see what you're saying..certain people have the means to allow themselves to act like children and have fun, even as adults.

You don't get it at all. OP isn't poor & ugly

To be honest, their post was somewhat unclear and contradictory.
I think even I got a bit confused in my response.
Now I'm not sure I actually know where they are coming from..

OP are you saying you have no trauma or lack of means-barring you from making way in the adult world..that you don't feel stuck in any place, but you simply want to remain in the world of a child?
Without adult responsibilities and mature thought processes and interests?
Without any balance between what is considered 'child' or 'adult'?
..If you have what you need to live in your fantasy world (most don't) then where is the issue?
Is it that you want the rest of the world to meet you where you're at?
You don't want to live with the expectations?
You don't want to have to confine yourself to a bubble as to be able to continue living this way?
You want the flippant to be prioritized over the serious?

..Sorry for all the questions but I am very confused.

 

[virginiawoolf]

you never became an adult because you don't accept adulthood. why are you scared of accepting responsibility for yourself?

 

[motel rooms]

you never became an adult because you don't accept adulthood. why are you scared of accepting responsibility for yourself?

Wow, that was a quick, clueless, judgmental diagnosis. Do you work for Dr. Phil?

 

[virginiawoolf]

if someone is of the age of criminal responsibility, they are an adult. it is what it is. i don't mean to insult. i have to be honest to be kind.

Wow, that was a quick, clueless, judgmental diagnosis. Do you work for Dr. Phil?

 

[Makko]

Are you saying that you struggle with the pressure you feel from external sources to prioritise adult concepts, rather than more childish ones?

It's partly the pressure and partly the feeling of alienation. My social environment is extremely adult. Peter Pans don't make it here. I'm a highly improbable case. It's fine to be slightly eccentric, but past a certain point (and age) it becomes unacceptable. I can't seriously tell anyone that my plan for "settling down" doesn't involve starting a family, but more like buying a comfy old lighthouse off the coast and living there as a hermit.

you never became an adult because you don't accept adulthood. why are you scared of accepting responsibility for yourself?

I see nothing good in adulthood and therefore no reason to accept it. I can take responsibility for myself, but nothing more. Adulthood presupposes a long list of other responsibilities, which I'm not as keen on.

 

[LastFlowers]

Wow, that was a quick, clueless, judgmental diagnosis. Do you work for Dr. Phil?

Maybe OP will clarify further so people won't make those types of assumptions..
(..tho I think most us can agree that Dr.Phil does not know what the fuck he's talking about. He is such an exploitative asshole.)

It's partly the pressure and partly the feeling of alienation. My social environment is extremely adult. Peter Pans don't make it here. I'm a highly improbable case. It's fine to be slightly eccentric, but past a certain point (and age) it becomes unacceptable. I can't seriously tell anyone that my plan for "settling down" doesn't involve starting a family, but more like buying a comfy old lighthouse off the coast and living there as a hermit.


I see nothing good in adulthood and therefore no reason to accept it. I can take responsibility for myself, but nothing more. Adulthood presupposes a long list of other responsibilities, which I'm not as keen on.

Oh well in that case, I very much relate to what you are saying.

Would it be possible to find an occupation where your personality and desires would be more respected and better suited to the work/environment at hand?
(I realize that's easier said than done. Sorry.)

 

[virginiawoolf]

It's partly the pressure and partly the feeling of alienation. My social environment is extremely adult. Peter Pans don't make it here. I'm a highly improbable case. It's fine to be slightly eccentric, but past a certain point (and age) it becomes unacceptable. I can't seriously tell anyone that my plan for "settling down" doesn't involve starting a family, but more like buying a comfy old lighthouse off the coast and living there as a hermit.


I see nothing good in adulthood and therefore no reason to accept it. I can take responsibility for myself, but nothing more. Adulthood presupposes a long list of other responsibilities, which I'm not as keen on.

you have accepted responsibility for yourself and chosen your dream. i don't see how you are not an adult. it seems to me that it is others expectations of you that you chafe against.

 

[Makko]

Would it be possible to find an occupation where your personality and desires would be more respected and better suited to the work/environment at hand?
(I realize that's easier said than done. Sorry.)

It's possible, but it would be a total transformation of my life and I don't think I'm ready to take the step yet. It would involve actually buying the lighthouse and spending my time there writing, painting and composing music, like every kiddy enjoys. I did these things when I was little but had to stop when I moved countries.

you have accepted responsibility for yourself and chosen your dream. i don't see how you are not an adult. it seems to me that it is others expectations of you that you chafe against.

Living up to expectations is the difficult part of adult life. Adult life comes with a context that you have to fit into. You need connections. You need relationships. You need a role. You need support and approval. You need adequate goals and strategies. You need ethics. Unless you choose to reject society and live as a hobo or something, which isn't an option for me, you're not an adult without these things.

 

[virginiawoolf]

It's possible, but it would be a total transformation of my life and I don't think I'm ready to take the step yet. It would involve actually buying the lighthouse and spending my time there writing, painting and composing music, like every kiddy enjoys. I did these things when I was little but had to stop when I moved countries.


Living up to expectations is the difficult part of adult life. Adult life comes with a context that you have to fit into. You need connections. You need relationships. You need a role. You need support and approval. You need adequate goals and strategies. You need ethics. Unless you choose to reject society and live as a hobo or something, which isn't an option for me, you're not an adult without these things.

if you're finding living up to expectations difficult, you are trying too hard or worrying too much. the expectations should be of your natural personality and somewhat flexible, as you are just human. you have connections, relationships, a role already. you seem to have ethics. i don't know about the support and approval, but that should come naturally from the relationships. adequate goals and strategies is the difficult one. how do you think yours are working for you now?

i am talking too much. but from my time reading your posts on here it seems you give a lot to the people around you offline but you don't want to take anything from them other than what can be put into terms of money. i am sure there is a lot of history here but that behaviour is stressful for one's brain and humans have to have help sometimes, whether bought or traded or given freely. it's okay to be alone if you want to be. but you are on here.

 

[ScaredToLive]

I'm with OP, I hate adulthood and everything it entails

 

[squarecircles]

There can be no happiness for me here, but I can't reach Neverland from this place. I can't reach anything. Death is the only possible portal to something different.

I feel that last line. This world is too limited. Maybe I read too much fiction as a child but this is not supposed to be it. I'm supposed to have some sort of magic or other society or purpose. I'm supposed to have some sort of ability and something worth using that ability on.

But I'm just stuck here. Waking up every day. Living every second. In this little meat body. And there's only one way out.

 

[Makko]

if you're finding living up to expectations difficult, you are trying too hard or worrying too much. the expectations should be of your natural personality and somewhat flexible, as you are just human.

If I set the bar that low I'd still be living in my parents basement which is not really an acceptable life route for me. All the good things in my life I have only because I do more than the bare minimum you describe.

you have connections, relationships, a role already. you seem to have ethics. i don't know about the support and approval, but that should come naturally from the relationships. adequate goals and strategies is the difficult one. how do you think yours are working for you now?

I have all of these things professionally, but the professional persona isn't "me". In private I have none of them and I don't want any, which completely alienates me from everyone else. Solitude and alienaton are not the same. I'd be in harmony if I could surround myself with people like me, but there are no environments like this. People of this sort are by their nature and rarity thinly spread across society and don't come into contact with each other. If I stay true to myself I have to deal with the alienation, and if I want to overcome the alienation I have to reject myself. I'm ruined no matter which way I turn it.

OP are you saying you have no trauma or lack of means-barring you from making way in the adult world..that you don't feel stuck in any place, but you simply want to remain in the world of a child?

Infantile types are known to be content to lie on the couch and daydream all their life. I'm someone who needs to live some part of my daydreams, which can't be done from the couch. I had to leave the couch and force my childish desires on the adult world with the titanic effort that this requires.