Pet names??

[AlTheObviousAlien]

Do pet names bother you? And if so in what context (besides romantic) do they not bother you?

I ask because I have a tendency to call people hun or love (obviously in an endearing way....most often than not). But people use it to be disrespectful ways and I don't know if it has become the new connotation to here hun or love in a negative way. Sooooo if you don't like hun or love what do you prefer? If you say your name, what if they people don't know your name, but you're still online friends. So many questions, I won't comment my opinion. Just taking notes and asking questions.

 

[SomewhatLoved]

It sort of feels weird to me, but that depends who it's coming from and what the pet name is. If it's an older person generally it's not as big of a deal (I'm 20 for reference), but when it comes from someone of a similar age to me it can feel weird. Although I should mention I only ever really leave the house to work, so in general it's sort of weird whenever I've had coworkers call me a pet name. But an 80 year old patient? Don't mind, they're just being polite in their own way.

I have some sort of romantic/sexual aversion, and I think being called pet names remind me of when I was in a relationship. I liked being called darling or dear then, but now it just feels weird whenever anyone else does it.

 

[Jadeith]

For me it all depends on who's talking and what's the context. As you mentioned, "hun" and "love" can be used both ways so, if a friend or even stranger (that cute old lady from the bakery you visited during your last trip) uses it in playful, friendly manner, i don't mind. Of course, these also can be "weaponized" but in such situation i think i'd have problem with whole conversation and the person speaking, not just pet names.

 

[Anonymousa]

I would accept and love to receive pet names from anyone if I like the pet name as they are giving me attention and interest in me. It makes me feel valued which is one of best feelings for me to have. Also depending on the pet name, it can make me feel cute making me feel even happier and euphoric as it's gender affirming to me and makes me feel I something to be looked aftered.

While I like hun and love, I prefer other pet names being:

• Darling
• Sweetie/Sweetheart
• Baby
• Cutie
• Puppy/puppy girl

 

[Forever Sleep]

It depends really. I think you can usually tell if people are using it as a term of endearment, in which case- it's nice. I find it funny when random strangers call one another 'my friend'. I suppose it's a term of solidarity and support. So, the sentiment is nice. People can use it sarcastically though too. I prefer emotions/ endearment to be genuine though personally- so- it won't mean so much if it's just a throw away phrase.

Names in general are funny though. My actual name became shortened pretty much the moment I went to school. Sometimes, I still get called by my full name. That used to bother me. It bothered me less as I grew older. Weirdly, it was a friend of mine who got more annoyed when someone kept calling me by it. Spelling is another one. It often gets mispelt. Even by people who I've worked for for years. It doesn't hugely trouble me. I know we're all pushed for time. Still, I suppose it registers that they can't be bothered to ensure they've got it right.

I wonder if our attachment to things like names wanes as we get more suicidal. I remember once the most ridiculous situation at work. A Christmas Temp called me by a totally different name. My dumb arse social anxiety meant I didn't want to correct her. So, I just had to keep remembering to answer to that name (as well as my own!) Fate was unkind and, she was made permanent staff and so of course, she eventually found out she'd been calling me the wrong name all that time and, I hadn't bothered to correct her. That wasn't all that easy to explain.

 

[NoPoint2Life]

It depends really. I think you can usually tell if people are using it as a term of endearment, in which case- it's nice. I find it funny when random strangers call one another 'my friend'. I suppose it's a term of solidarity and support. So, the sentiment is nice. People can use it sarcastically though too. I prefer emotions/ endearment to be genuine though personally- so- it won't mean so much if it's just a throw away phrase.

Names in general are funny though. My actual name became shortened pretty much the moment I went to school. Sometimes, I still get called by my full name. That used to bother me. It bothered me less as I grew older. Weirdly, it was a friend of mine who got more annoyed when someone kept calling me by it. Spelling is another one. It often gets mispelt. Even by people who I've worked for for years. It doesn't hugely trouble me. I know we're all pushed for time. Still, I suppose it registers that they can't be bothered to ensure they've got it right.

I wonder if our attachment to things like names wanes as we get more suicidal. I remember once the most ridiculous situation at work. A Christmas Temp called me by a totally different name. My dumb arse social anxiety meant I didn't want to correct her. So, I just had to keep remembering to answer to that name (as well as my own!) Fate was unkind and, she was made permanent staff and so of course, she eventually found out she'd been calling me the wrong name all that time and, I hadn't bothered to correct her. That wasn't all that easy to explain.

I can totally relate to the workplace part. There is a very similar sounding name to mine and people mix it up constantly. People I had worked with for 15 years still said it wrong. And it always annoyed me so much that they couldn't be bothered to remember it correctly.

As for pet names they make me uncomfortable if they are used by anyone I wasn't dating. There was a guy at work I liked and we used to text a lot and he would call me babe in the text. I repeatedly asked him to stop that because in my mind, babe should be reserved for someone you are in a relationship with and not just a common thing. Apparently, I am in the minority because just recently in a group text one of my cousins called her sister babe which I thought was odd.

I have one irl friend. She is soooooooo lovey- dovey and everything with her is babe, hon, I love you. It has taken quite some getting used to. I try to reciprocate a bit so as not to come off emotionless and uncaringwhen we are on the phone. But it doesn't come to me naturally at all

 

[relapse]

It's kind of obvious when pet names are used in a condescending manner and when they're being used in a regular affectionate one, so don't worry about it coming off the wrong way. Depending of who they're coming from pet names can make me feel a lot closer to the person, if it's a friend or someone I'm interested in it makes me quite happy. If it's someone I don't know much I feel neutral/nothing, however it does make me question their intentions. There are some people I immediately get irritated with if they call me by a shortened version of my name, not even a pet name lol. Some words I dislike a lot because I associate them with bad experiences/people I got hurt by.