Permanent dissociation

[Parnate]

I am 31, and I feel I have been in a dissociated starte forever as long as I can remember. I do cry but most of the time I don't really know how to react, respond or retaliate. I just tolerate and let go until I reach a breaking point and then cry and internalize all the pain.
Very often I don't realise people taking advantage of , conning me.
Anyone in similar condition?

 

[suacide]

I'm 23 and yeah, I feel the same way.
It feels like a constant brain fog that I can't get rid of and it's impossible to make my own decisions, to know how to feel, how to really do anything. Doing or thinking anything feels like a strain. I let people walk all over me, I forgive over and over not because I actually do, but for some reason I can't really understand myself, I just know it isn't forgiveness. I don't realise when something is bad until it's over and half the time I barely register it until it's gone and I can do nothing about it. I bottle everything up and always have since I was a little girl.
Sometimes it's hard for me to comprehend that I've even aged. I feel robbed from in a sense because I haven't been present for so many of those years. I've wasted what was meant to be the best of my life rotting away and being miserable, and there's nothing I can really do about that and half the time I don't really think about it either. I get called positive a lot because of how I behave and speak despite what I've been through, but I just feel lobotomised.

 

[Parnate]

I'm 23 and yeah, I feel the same way.
It feels like a constant brain fog that I can't get rid of and it's impossible to make my own decisions, to know how to feel, how to really do anything. Doing or thinking anything feels like a strain. I let people walk all over me, I forgive over and over not because I actually do, but for some reason I can't really understand myself, I just know it isn't forgiveness. I don't realise when something is bad until it's over and half the time I barely register it until it's gone and I can do nothing about it. I bottle everything up and always have since I was a little girl.
Sometimes it's hard for me to comprehend that I've even aged. I feel robbed from in a sense because I haven't been present for so many of those years. I've wasted what was meant to be the best of my life rotting away and being miserable, and there's nothing I can really do about that and half the time I don't really think about it either. I get called positive a lot because of how I behave and speak despite what I've been through, but I just feel lobotomised.

I tried few medicines oxcarbazepine and lamotrigine, they helped me be assertive and fearless and present in the moment. But they worsened my pre existing hemorrhoids and OCD.
Also two supplements boron and black ginger. Both helped but worsened my pre existing hyperhidrosis.
You can try these.
I guess my body is fucked up. I try to make one thing good and the other thing gets fucked up.

 

[shiftingtendons]

I tried few medicines oxcarbazepine and lamotrigine, they helped me be assertive and fearless and present in the moment. But they worsened my pre existing hemorrhoids and OCD.
Also two supplements boron and black ginger. Both helped but worsened my pre existing hyperhidrosis.
You can try these.
I guess my body is fucked up. I try to make one thing good and the other thing gets fucked up.

risperidone reallyyy helped me with the brain fog + it did worsen my ocd too so i started taking fluvoxamine maleate and that like. absolutely cured my ocd. i haven't felt any of the symptoms for almost a year now

 

[woodlandcreature]

yes, i have almost no concept of time anymore. im always not quite here. it's especially bad around others. i become a mirror of whoever im speaking to, and completely vacate my body at least until the interaction is over. it's like im in a trance. this definitely leads to me being taken advantage of, but my mind is literally somewhere else so i can't see it (i'll often realize years after).

 

[dearlydeparted44]

I identify with this. I was always slow to process when people were insulting me or being disrespectful. I guess, in some ways, I was always checked out of this life.

 

[scordatura]

Been took advantage of and deceived far too often, never know what to do about it in the end, I just go through life, hoping for the best and expecting the worst. Which is not ideal really.

 

[Parnate]

Been took advantage of and deceived far too often, never know what to do about it in the end, I just go through life, hoping for the best and expecting the worst. Which is not ideal really.

I would suggest you try lamotrigine or oxcarbazepine. These are anti epileptic these helped me a lot to be assertive. But worsened pre existing conditions of mine. Also black ginger and boron are two supplements that helped a lot, but worsened my pre existing hyperhidrosis. Might as well change your life

 

[Parnate]

I have taken both and didn't do much for .
Our bodies are so different.

risperidone reallyyy helped me with the brain fog + it did worsen my ocd too so i started taking fluvoxamine maleate and that like. absolutely cured my ocd. i haven't felt any of the symptoms for almost a year now

yes, i have almost no concept of time anymore. im always not quite here. it's especially bad around others. i become a mirror of whoever im speaking to, and completely vacate my body at least until the interaction is over. it's like im in a trance. this definitely leads to me being taken advantage of, but my mind is literally somewhere else so i can't see it (i'll often realize years after).

So much like. I have realised so many things years later.