chrisbate7

chrisbate7

Student
Sep 30, 2020
191
You can do it. I have faith in you

I honestly didn't think I could make it as far as I did, but here I am. Definitely won't be much longer. But if I can do it, so can you.
What did you get off of? How long did it take to feel better? Biggest problem right now is racing intrusive thoughts, anger and ridiculous high anxiety
 
woxihuanni

woxihuanni

Illuminated
Aug 19, 2019
3,299
I was placed on amphetamines at age seven, then other drugs later in life as I needed treatment for the problems of the incompetent abusers in my life (who never got the treatments I was subjected to).

Yes, they never do. They don't even get told to meditate or go for walks or that they don't love themselves.
 
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InTheAirTonight

InTheAirTonight

I tried
Feb 29, 2020
475
Well I started taking SSRIs and don't mind any brain damage because my brain can't possibly get more fucked
 
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virginiawoolf86

virginiawoolf86

Specialist
Jul 4, 2020
317
What did you get off of? How long did it take to feel better? Biggest problem right now is racing intrusive thoughts, anger and ridiculous high anxiety
Lurasidone. I'm still not quite better, I don't have as bad of psychosis anymore, but I suffer from Cotard's Delusion now.

I guess the point is that I thought I would've CTB already. And I tried, many times, but I haven't yet been successful. I guess it's a matter of taking things day by day, even though things can feel unbearable.
 
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chrisbate7

chrisbate7

Student
Sep 30, 2020
191
Lurasidone. I'm still not quite better, I don't have as bad of psychosis anymore, but I suffer from Cotard's Delusion now.

I guess the point is that I thought I would've CTB already. And I tried, many times, but I haven't yet been successful. I guess it's a matter of taking things day by day, even though things can feel unbearable.
Just looked up Cotards. Never heard of that before, sounds awful. Do you believe that you exist?
 
virginiawoolf86

virginiawoolf86

Specialist
Jul 4, 2020
317
Just looked up Cotards. Never heard of that before, sounds awful. Do you believe that you exist?
I don't. I feel as though my brain and soul are dead. Like I'm dead. When it started, I had really bad psychosis, like seeing things, weird vision changes, not really seeing myself in the mirror (it didn't register that it was me), pains that couldn't be explained, getting lost in my neighborhood (severe confusion). I felt like I was descending into madness, as though if I closed my eyes, I'd never come back.

Unfortunately, to an extent, that was true. I don't feel like I made it to 2020. It all happened so quickly. One day I was working, and the next I was in a hospital, never to come back again. I really wish I had spent my time in life differently. Not that it was all bad, but at the time I was coming out of a really mixed up relationship. I wish I had my brain back. I was so smart and had prospects. I graduated with honors.

I'm trying to work and to socialize more and have more experiences, but it's impossible when you feel like you've died.

Enough about me. Just know that you're capable of getting through this. You're stronger than you know.
 
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Weary Soul

Weary Soul

Soon I will be free
Nov 13, 2019
1,156
I believe I have sustained a permanent brain injury from medications in general and psych meds.

Is that the reason I want to move on?

I think this is a large part of why I want to move on; however, there is so much more driving my determination.

I think this is a very good question btw.

I used to work in Pharma - no med is safe.

I cannot fathom why doctors want to force people off of meds that work but have addiction potential like benzodiazepenes (in my case Xanax, which held me together), and substitute them with other psych meds (e.g., SSRIs, SSNRIs, antipsychotics, etc.,) that, in my experience, have the potential to:
  • Be just as prone to addiction (aka severe withdrawal effects);
  • Be harsher on the body to the point of death;
  • Significantly (clinically - not necessarily statistically), decrease quality of life; and
  • Ultimately, may cause more psychological and physical distress.
This would make a good postmarketing observational study I think.

Sighs... lemmings.

(Apologies for the rant - after many years in the medical industry, this just really irritates me)
 
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BridgeJumper

BridgeJumper

The Arsonist
Apr 7, 2019
1,194
I have been doped with medication for years in attempt to subdue me. I dont have normal sleep cycle without them anymore, I wonder if my vertigo situation is connected to them because they make the dizziness waaay worse, sometimes I havee restlesness and involuntary jerking movements, also started to get hardcore (170-90) heart palpitations after taking a dose, my metabolism is fucked to the point of gaining weight just from looking at food. After I jumped they put me on 16 pills and I was so high and upset by it that I would ask for a 17th pill to tranquilize me. Extrapyramydal syndrome would hit me so fucking bad I temporarily lost my mind and tried to hang myself on a charger cable just to get the pain to stop...And of course all these years Ive been exaggerating, these drugs dont cause side effects like this, symptoms of my mental illness are the cause of why I feel like shit, but I was almost fine on very low doses and suddenly an anxious suicidal mess when they tripled the dose?
None of these placebos work anyway, they just want to drug me to sleep so they dont have toe deal with me. And apparently not leaving your bed for 2 weeks and refusing water until I collapsed into shock and needed to be forcefed it is not bad enough for ECT
 
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OrdinaryDay

OrdinaryDay

Hollow
Dec 6, 2019
153
There was a period of time a couple of years back when I was trying to OD on everything including my prescription. I tried to ctb with MDMA which I believed fucked me up to the point of no return. I'm definitely not the same person anymore. I told my psychiatrist about my experience with drug abuse so she prescribed me with SSRI'S which I also abused. Sometimes it feels like my brain is empty and thick and nothing is able to get through my concrete skull. My memory is fine and I don't think my overall intelligence has dropped a lot but when it comes to communication or participating in a group I always feel a couple of levels below.
 
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