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clawsofperdition
the end is near
- Sep 4, 2020
- 55
I'm at a hotel. I've prepped my sn drink already. I stupidly forgot the antiemetic at home but this is my one chance at the moment. I brought propranolol by accident instead so i took 3 40mg pills hoping it would act as one. I also have 30 oexazepam pills ready but i'm scared to use them in case i throw up from both drinks. I don't want to just have a normal od then wake up at the loony bin. so in case i throw up from both sn drinks i guess i'll just go home, if able to? Maybe i'll be too sick but who knows. I'm scared, really scared. I'm sad. I'm alone. These past few days have felt so surreal and in a way it feels like i wont die which depresses me, especially since i forgot the most important part. I genuinely don't know how i forgot it, i had a list and everything. I was just so overwhelmed. Been planning this for a while now, two months at least. I wish assisted suicide was legal. It's awful to die alone at a hotel unaware of what will take place. i hope i die a clean peaceful death. I don't know what i'll do if this doesn't work.