Venting Perfect plan but I don't have the tools to apply it

[Wenzdayaddams]

My plan:
*Find a female friend (any age) with same thoughts to help supply and stay with me till the end
*Write suicide letters together, get them mailed to loved ones and write a couple more for our bodies to be found with
*Find parking lot at night with wifi so we can still use our phones for music, distractions, and something to pass the time (I don't have service)
*Buy gasoline powered water pump and place in backseat of car and seal ourselves
*Buy some sleeping pills or Benadryl to make us fall asleep sooner
*Talk, relax, be best friends for the night until the bitter end
*Finally sleep forever and die peacefully and gracefully

The problem:
*Most people on here probably won't be able to travel to me and they might have the same financial issues I do so we'd be stuck
*I don't have any money whatsoever
*I don't have a water pump or anything that would give us carbon monoxide poisoning
*I don't have a car
*I live in Oklahoma USA which is super far away from most of you guys
*I'm afraid that person would back out
*I'm afraid something would go wrong and one of us would survive and be blamed for the other person's suicide
*I've never done this method before I just know my friend did it and it ended pretty peacefully
*I only have so much time before I go to some weird housing place and they don't allow us online or outside

 

[nervousandanxious]

This sounds like a relaxable, peaceful plan but how would you make it happen? You really are lacking the tools for it! :/ And what happened with you friend? How did he/she do it & they ended up passing ?

 

[Wenzdayaddams]

I was hoping to get another friend that would have or could get those tools because I no longer have a way to get them. With my friend we originally had the plan to do it together (the plan I just stated above) but she did it by herself. I no longer have money (spent the last of what I had been saving on her) and now I'm back at square one but now even worse off. When she passed I wasn't there, I just got the call from our other friend who originally thought I had passed with her due to the plan but she didn't know any details all she knew was there was only one body (my friend) and it was from the carbon dioxide poisoning.

 

[TonyThat2003]

I would love to do that with you sis, but im from another country and im not a girl

 

[Luchs]

My plan:
*Find a female friend (any age) with same thoughts to help supply and stay with me till the end
*Write suicide letters together, get them mailed to loved ones and write a couple more for our bodies to be found with
*Find parking lot at night with wifi so we can still use our phones for music, distractions, and something to pass the time (I don't have service)
*Buy gasoline powered water pump and place in backseat of car and seal ourselves
*Buy some sleeping pills or Benadryl to make us fall asleep sooner
*Talk, relax, be best friends for the night until the bitter end
*Finally sleep forever and die peacefully and gracefully

The problem:
*Most people on here probably won't be able to travel to me and they might have the same financial issues I do so we'd be stuck
*I don't have any money whatsoever
*I don't have a water pump or anything that would give us carbon monoxide poisoning
*I don't have a car
*I live in Oklahoma USA which is super far away from most of you guys
*I'm afraid that person would back out
*I'm afraid something would go wrong and one of us would survive and be blamed for the other person's suicide
*I've never done this method before I just know my friend did it and it ended pretty peacefully
*I only have so much time before I go to some weird housing place and they don't allow us online or outside

Not online and no goi g outside? That sounds like a nightmare. If you can't ctb in time, at least run away.

 

[Krash1990]

My plan:
*Find a female friend (any age) with same thoughts to help supply and stay with me till the end
*Write suicide letters together, get them mailed to loved ones and write a couple more for our bodies to be found with
*Find parking lot at night with wifi so we can still use our phones for music, distractions, and something to pass the time (I don't have service)
*Buy gasoline powered water pump and place in backseat of car and seal ourselves
*Buy some sleeping pills or Benadryl to make us fall asleep sooner
*Talk, relax, be best friends for the night until the bitter end
*Finally sleep forever and die peacefully and gracefully

The problem:
*Most people on here probably won't be able to travel to me and they might have the same financial issues I do so we'd be stuck
*I don't have any money whatsoever
*I don't have a water pump or anything that would give us carbon monoxide poisoning
*I don't have a car
*I live in Oklahoma USA which is super far away from most of you guys
*I'm afraid that person would back out
*I'm afraid something would go wrong and one of us would survive and be blamed for the other person's suicide
*I've never done this method before I just know my friend did it and it ended pretty peacefully
*I only have so much time before I go to some weird housing place and they don't allow us online or outside

A small grill and charcoal probably wouldn't cost $40...

 

[Wenzdayaddams]

A small grill and charcoal probably wouldn't cost $40...

I don't have even one cent to my name. No money at all whatsoever. I don't have a car either.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I'm sorry that your life is in a place where you're considering ctb, and I'm sorry your friend went ahead without you, especially considering that you had invested in the method she ended up using alone. I have compassion for her, too, but that just sucks for you!

I'm curious if you've considered what you will do if you can't find a partner and don't have the money for this method, or any method that requires money.

No obligation to respond of course, just curious.

 

[Wenzdayaddams]

I honestly have no idea. Either way I'll kill myself it'll just be more painful, lonely, and slow for me and traumatizing for my family. My little siblings live with us, they come into my room without warning 24/7(that's how little kids are). I'm trying really hard to explore this option first because it'll make me happier and my family won't be as affected. My friends always said that if I do it, at least leave them an intact body that they can find (which would be in the parking lot I had mentioned) to have the funeral they would want, and so my siblings and mom don't have to ever find out.