Ik I just posted but this is just to vent. I just think it's funny when I want to bed rot or what ever my friends response is to say "you can do it" like????? Tf I'm saying right here right now I can't. Nothing makes me happy. It's worse that they are also a reason I feel despair. Nothing gets better, some people are just here to be the tragic character of this matrix of a life. I lived my first 18 years being abused, seeing abuse, being sheltered which lead to multiple illnesses and fears. COVID was a time where I actually was able to rest. I spent my time gaming, and chatting and doing art alone.. Like always. I'm trying in life again but some shit always happens back to back. My ex took all my money and now we're not even together, I've had to fix my cars rotors, breaks, break lights, I locked myself out of my car, I was towed, I got into an accident in one month. And after the accident the guy who towed me tried to take advantage of me. Men are so icky, I've been used by two exes and it's not my fault. I had to defend myself to my brother bc my ex was making up stories that it was my fault. Incels and men will say it's my fault but I know it's not. I said no multiple times, I don't dress show offsey in those situations. I'm literally a non binary who doesn't care to show bodyhair and dress effeminate or masc. With that my parents don't accept me bc I'm bi and enby. I don't have money, my job just used me as well and took anything good I had going away from me. I'm lonely and even thought I typing out shit that would get me to break down I feel fine. I feel at peace hoping someone will talk to me in my other thread discussion. I don't want to be here anymore.. Life doesn't get any better. I fought for 18 years straight and burned out after doing so much to prove my worth... After the COVID break. . Am I going to have to fight for another 18 straight... Again??? Everyone tells me I'll be fine and to find future motivation but I can't. I'm done, no one cares, no one cries for me anymore idc... It's all stupid shit "I should know" but no one taught me... It's not my fault and I'm tired of feeling like this has always been my fault... If I'm really such a good person then why? Yk
I'd also like to mention that weed is the only thing that keeps me sedated lol
I'd also like to mention that weed is the only thing that keeps me sedated lol
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