Yes, A friend of mine who I care so much about. I feel like he has been here for me through so much and maybe has even kept me here longer then I would have been otherwise. I know he has considered taking his own life before and it's something we have both talked about in the past. We both have had very rough lives and are both still struggling but he is doing better than me. I wish I could do more to help him. I have such mixed feelings about him too and it is difficult, we are just friends, but lately, I almost wish it was something more. I know he is with someone one else right now and has never thought about me in any other way than a good friend. Regardless, I just feel like I can't leave him if/when I do decide it's time for me to ctb and couldn't live with myself if he were to be the one to find me.