People will remember me as a sefish person

[Akanamali]

I've been wanting to end it all for several months now. But something was always stopping me. First, it was my cousin's wedding, and then it was my best friend's birthday and then my mother's birthday, then my cousin's, then my father's. I wanted to leave some space between those dates and my death because I didn't want to ruin and taint those dates for them.

I was planning on doing it some time around now but the worst has happened and my cousin died in a freak accident. She was a good person. My aunt, her mother, is an incredible person and she doesn't deserve this. Everyone is in shock and she will be missed.

I can't go on anymore though and I have to go soon. But when I'm gone people will remember me as the selfish person who ended their own life a few weeks after another tragedy, and while the family were still broken and mourning. And people would be right to think that.

I wish I'd just gone months ago.

 

[JimFord99]

Suicide is not a selfish act, it is a desperate act.

 

[Stan]

I think the initial shock follows by the question 'why?' and so forth. People need answers to questions, its in our nature. For me their selfishness statement is a transference for things that they don't want to talk about. Could they have helped? Should they have seen the signs? Why didn't you talk to them about how you were feeling. That's all pretty irrelevant. Nobody knows how we are feeling and if there was a cure then the person who invented it would be a billionaire. I go all Mr Spock and just go pure logic when I think about my situation and whats the right thing to do. The most selfish thing I think is actually to have a friend or family member NOT find the body. That's why I am in a great situation that I live alone and I can determine to a degree who will find it. At least then the coroner or funeral home can tidy up the body if someone wants to see it. However, since I am taking the SN route I will be advising them in one of my notes NOT to to view the body as it seems I will look like Papa Smurf. I believe the initial shock will wear away after time and the good memories will stand front and centre, if their long term memories of you do not have these types of memories then I wouldn't worry about them.

 

[Prideathwish]

You will alright

 

[pole]

I've been wanting to end it all for several months now. But something was always stopping me. First, it was my cousin's wedding, and then it was my best friend's birthday and then my mother's birthday, then my cousin's, then my father's. I wanted to leave some space between those dates and my death because I didn't want to ruin and taint those dates for them.

I was planning on doing it some time around now but the worst has happened and my cousin died in a freak accident. She was a good person. My aunt, her mother, is an incredible person and she doesn't deserve this. Everyone is in shock and she will be missed.

I can't go on anymore though and I have to go soon. But when I'm gone people will remember me as the selfish person who ended their own life a few weeks after another tragedy, and while the family were still broken and mourning. And people would be right to think that.

I wish I'd just gone months ago.

selfish? suicide is you're own choice, they should be understanding of you're choice.

you're selfless, not selfish. If you were selfish, you would've ctb'd months ago like you wish you had. but you didnt, whys that?

well, lets see. all these interruptions, cousins wedding, a birthday, and not wanting to ctb then to ruin those days for them and fill their days of celebration with negativity and darkness instead of positivity and happiness. YOU CHOSE not to do that, because YOU THOUGHT about others.

You dont wanna do it now CAUSE OF YOU'RE COUSINS FREAK ACCIDENT. Theres already so much pain and suffering ur famillies dealing with right now, that you're ctb would only burden them even more mentally. AND YOU KNOW THAT, AND SENSED THAT. You choose to be aware of others and how they feel, what there feeling, and act cautiously because of that. That isnt selfish. Thats selfless.

your a selfless person whos broken and struggling. how much can you think about others while carrying ur own pain and suffering? you thinking about others like you have makes you such a great person and far from selfish. some people who struggle, and face pain and suffering, dont even recognize and aren't wary of their choices and decisions, or even critical of how the people around them are feeling. i dont blame them, there hurt themselves, too caught up in their own negativity to even have the ability to focus and recognize the emotions of others.

but you do. even with ur pain and suffering. that isnt just selfless, but takes so much mental strength to do so. and makes you such an amazing person. not many are like this man, thats the truth.

may you're cousin rest in peace. and i hope you find the peace and happiness that you seek and deserve.

 

[bluesky1972-2019]

Only people who have no idea of the pain and suffering people go through before they ctb use the term "selfish act". They have no idea and no right to judge.
Nobody is selfish who ends up ctb. It's a very brave thing to do at the end of a very difficult road.