People who decided that they should recover, what stopped you from CTBing?

[overbleed.]

For me it's my mom having a mental breakdown after I tried to ctb and told her

 

[cgrtt.brns]

i think my main reason is a friend of mine saying if i died she'd quickly follow suit to beat me up in hell for leaving her behind lol. she has a lot of potential and i see her having an amazing life despite the struggles she faces, and i just couldn't do that to her. whether she's serious or not, i dont want to risk it.

 

[Ultracheese]

Somehow the love of my life, who I always assumed just thought of me as some stupid kid who was obsessed with him, loves me too. We've been together for a month now.

 

[damnatio memoriae]

I've become religious

 

[Paradise]

I still have hope for recovery and many things in life I haven't tried.

 

[[redacted]]

Hope, although it comes and goes and it's also religion dependent.
And I also get very sad when I imagine the reaction of my family when they find me dead.

I've become religious

Which one?

 

[Source Energy]

Somehow the love of my life, who I always assumed just thought of me as some stupid kid who was obsessed with him, loves me too. We've been together for a month now.

Gawd...you lucky girl, you! If I had the love of my life in my life, I wouldn't be suicidal anymore. His presence was like the sun that warmed up everything...


My reasons to postpone:

-still hold some small hope; I've turned up amazing shit before
- I am spiritual and want to apply my beliefs, which I don't properly, because of grief and pain
- I really like the look and good functioning of the body I'm inhabiting

But all these might not matter tomorrow. 8 hours fasting is enough for SN, if something even worse happens, I'm outta here

 

[Ultracheese]

Gawd...you lucky girl, you! If I had the love of my life in my life, I wouldn't be suicidal anymore. His presence was like the sun that warmed up everything...


My reasons to postpone:

-still hold some small hope; I've turned up amazing shit before
- I am spiritual and want to apply my beliefs, which I don't properly, because of grief and pain
- I really like the look and good functioning of the body I'm inhabiting

But all these might not matter tomorrow. 8 hours fasting is enough for SN, if something even worse happens, I'm outta here

Haha, I'm a guy, but thank you very much! I'm sorry about your love. It sounds like he's a lovely person. I hope you're able to maintain that small hope you have. Regardless of what decision you make, I wish you happiness and peace.

 

[nolifezzz]

im still so terrified of where i might end up because of my religious upbringing...
if only i have the absolute verifiable confirmation that it'll just be like *pts* lights off. i no longer have to think. i no longer have any consciousness. i no longer exist. lights off & thats it for me, i'll do it in a heatbeat no question asked lol....
i just want to be erased, gone, poof. like that i dont want any chances of ever waking up, gaining consciousness again and ending up in some afterlife or some place worse...
yes game over. no longer exist. is the ideal death for me
but too bad that even in this advanced world no one still know for sure whats on the other side...

 

[deathLiberation]

Prison planet theory.
The possibility that a person might be tricked to come back to this shitshow, completely memory wiped, makes me want to prepare as much as i can first so i can avoid the trap.
I dont want to ever come back here.

 

[Alltheywanted]

The thought that my life might become easier once I get over severe depression. That would also mean I would be able to achieve my goals.

 

[Source Energy]

Prison planet theory.
The possibility that a person might be tricked to come back to this shitshow, completely memory wiped, makes me want to prepare as much as i can first so i can avoid the trap.
I dont want to ever come back here.

Similar beliefs, just I think we'll come back with memory wiped anyway. I just don't want to end the game on such a losing note. This terrible, despair energy. What if after ctb we are the energy we died in, and get reborn accordingly....the theories abound and we don't know the truth, but energy cannot be created or destroyed, it just changes forms...

 

[unnormal9]

Delusion.

 

[Wilsonie_22]

I wouldn't want to do that to my mom

 

[Roseate]

I don't wanna feel like a quitter. I have to know I tried my best, did everything I could before letting go. And if after everything, all my efforts, I'm still not okay then I'll know I did everything I could. Then it'll be okay for me to go.

 

[KrowaKovsky]

I don't want to leave my cats in the care of someone I don't trust on accident. I'd rather stick it out for them.

 

[deathLiberation]

Similar beliefs, just I think we'll come back with memory wiped anyway. I just don't want to end the game on such a losing note. This terrible, despair energy. What if after ctb we are the energy we died in, and get reborn accordingly....the theories abound and we don't know the truth, but energy cannot be created or destroyed, it just changes forms...

We dont know. Ultimately we dont know anything, even that "energy" thing.

But intuition helps. If it tells me there is a possibility of escaping the illusion, then i´ll stick to that and hope for the best. Either way it made me feel way more confortable with death. Actually excited about it. But if suicide is a feast for wtv entity then f*k`em not gonna give them anything.

Im aware of how stupid all this existence is. I make sure that no matter how good my life can be, does not erase all the absurd crap still going on and all the limitations. This existence is wrong, bases itself on suffering and is rotten to the bones. No attachments is the true goal.
That´s why i think suicide must only be conducted if the person is completely detached of everything, which is very difficult. If you regret it for a single second during ctb, your chances of getting back here, if the trap is real, are very high.

 

[Housefly]

I can't survive, if I fail again and the people in my life find out. Mental break down until I'm literally a retard

 

[dyinghopefully]

My main reason is my family, especially my own mother, she care to me so much, and i don't want her to feel sad or depressed because i take the CTB

 

[veryyred]

My family. I wanted to at least give them the happiness they deserve and I don't want them to be sad when I disappear. I just love them so much.

 

[kindalone]

My sister told me if I die she will break down. We had a similar upbringing but I believe she can do something with her life. I don't wanna jinx it. So I guess, I'll suffer through it.

 

[golgotha]

I've decided to live with the agony. I don't want to catch the bus. If I don't have a future, then let me die fighting to create one. If people make me miserable, then instead of taking it out on myself, I'm going to kill them. In this unjust and degenerate world, punishment against evil must be executed without mercy. I don't care what it takes. I have long stopped feeling afraid, all I lack at this moment is physical strength which is a temporary problem. Once I acquire strength, not even death will stop me from ending this world.

 

[FullCircle]

The people who love me. And my dog.

 

[MrBrownUpsideD]

I've decided to live with the agony. I don't want to catch the bus. If I don't have a future, then let me die fighting to create one. If people make me miserable, then instead of taking it out on myself, I'm going to kill them. In this unjust and degenerate world, punishment against evil must be executed without mercy. I don't care what it takes. I have long stopped feeling afraid, all I lack at this moment is physical strength which is a temporary problem. Once I acquire strength, not even death will stop me from ending this world.

A bit edgy but I like the energy

 

[golgotha]

A bit edgy but I like the energy

Everytime someone calls me edgy, I get the urge to wear clown makeup and laugh like the Joker lol

 

[Bleedingheartbeat]

I've decided to live with the agony. I don't want to catch the bus. If I don't have a future, then let me die fighting to create one. If people make me miserable, then instead of taking it out on myself, I'm going to kill them. In this unjust and degenerate world, punishment against evil must be executed without mercy. I don't care what it takes. I have long stopped feeling afraid, all I lack at this moment is physical strength which is a temporary problem. Once I acquire strength, not even death will stop me from ending this world.

Wow I love this energy.. except for the killing part lol

 

[cgrtt.brns]

i think my main reason is a friend of mine saying if i died she'd quickly follow suit to beat me up in hell for leaving her behind lol. she has a lot of potential and i see her having an amazing life despite the struggles she faces, and i just couldn't do that to her. whether she's serious or not, i dont want to risk it.

well that didnt last long. i now feel that this friend hates me, so i guess now im living for my dog, because my parents are shit at taking care of things past the point of bare necessities (me being a prime example of this). after she's gone there wont be anything left.

 

[kindalone]

I've decided to live with the agony. I don't want to catch the bus. If I don't have a future, then let me die fighting to create one. If people make me miserable, then instead of taking it out on myself, I'm going to kill them. In this unjust and degenerate world, punishment against evil must be executed without mercy. I don't care what it takes. I have long stopped feeling afraid, all I lack at this moment is physical strength which is a temporary problem. Once I acquire strength, not even death will stop me from ending this world.

I feel like I would have gotten further in life if I would've just harnessed my hatred and unleashed it somehow. Instead, I've used it to punish myself. I like your style. I might adopt it.

 

[mosai1que]

the depression has lessened, as ive gotten help and distanced myself from things that have been bringing me a lot of pain.
ive also made a pact with myself that if life gets shit enough i will allow myself to (if i get too old or too ill or whatever), but im too young right now and i dont feel like i know what im leaving if i choose to cbt now

 

[nozomu]

My partner told me they were afraid they would wake up one day to the news that I'm dead. So I was loosely committed to recovery at that point. 2 months later I gave my partner a beautiful proposal to show them I'll always be around for them. Now I'm trying my best to recover.