Venting People who are altruistic to gain good person points.

[Marz]

I'm kinda drunk, and I have nobody to actually discuss this with.
You can see from my previous postings my life is quite a mess. I only have contact with people online, mainly twitter. In there I have been asking for donations for our family, to get by. To pay rent at least.
There was this girl who contacted me months ago when I was suicidal (again) and was plotting my ctb. She seemed nice and helped my donations post get around. She has a lot of followers. I'm so affection starved I befriend pretty much anyone online. Well, thing is, I have been intending to off myself soon and she knows this. For several reasons I have yet not been able to. But the truth is that, upon seeing I'm still alive after 5 days, she basically turned the blind eye. She had told me she's "distancing" herself from me so it doesn't hurt as much when I ctb. And that's just...
She tweets about dumb shit all day. She reaches out to people with issues publically. Tweets about mental health awareness bs. She is neurotypical.
I know, at this point, one cannot expect much from people. I know straight up from my abusive and neglectful parents and all the abusive friends and people I have had in my life. From the men who raped me. I know. But the way she so simply disregarded my pain in order to avoid getting her own feelings hurt, while pretending to be a goodie two shoes altruistic bitch because she has 1k followers blows my damn mind.
What the fuck is wrong with people?

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

Social media has made everyone disingenuous because people don't get to hide behind a simple and anonymous screen name like they could in the good old days. It means they're forced to work hard at pushing this image that they want others to believe is the real them. I think it's especially bad with women, who are engineered for socializing and getting along with everyone. It's turned them into these overachieving brown-nosers who simply ooze fakery. I avoid social media like the plague.

 

[Darkhaven]

Well she can't use your story to get more followers once your dead.
Maybe i'm not grasping the issue here, but that's what came to my mind upon reading what you wrote.
I'm sorry it has come to this and, unfortunately, there isn't much to expect from people in cases like ours (people on this site). Just try to keep strong. You seem to have been through a lot.
I have this impression that people like you, that have faced serious adversities in life, are also the ones who have more attitude and strength to face problems.
I, on the contrary, haven't been through much, and have always been overprotected, and because of that i'm such a big pussy! I lose it all when faced with the slightest challenge.

 

[Marz]

Well she can't use your story to get more followers once your dead.
Maybe i'm not grasping the issue here, but that's what came to my mind upon reading what you wrote.
I'm sorry it has come to this and, unfortunately, there isn't much to expect from people in cases like ours (people on this site). Just try to keep strong. You seem to have been through a lot.
I have this impression that people like you, that have faced serious adversities in life, are also the ones who have more attitude and strength to face problems.
I, on the contrary, haven't been through much, and have always been overprotected, and because of that i'm such a big pussy! I lose it all when faced with the slightest challenge.

I definetely am also a pussy, trust me. I have gone through a lot but it hasn't made me strong. Not at all. I give up easily as well. Since I have always failed at everything, and everyone who I ever trusted has betrayed me, and my luck has always enjoyed see me suffering, I no longer even try. It's learned helplessness. If I were truly strong I wouldn't be in this site, so I fear.

 

[262653]

A mere thought that a human being is capable of altruistic deeds without an underlying self-serving motive is inconceivable to me, and makes me wondering what they're "really" up to. Ah, but I'm not putting any blame. We do what we have to.