Recently I met a few like-minded women, and I liked them all, but three of them have ghosted me after a day of talking even tho they wanted to talk at first and be friends. Now they act like replying is a chore and just ignore me while I'm desperate for like-minded friends and put effort into making them. Sad.
YourLocalSadGirly
God’s least favorite
- May 6, 2024
- 54
Unfortunately that's just how it is with online friendships. In my experience you need to have a very very strong connection with someone to have them stay friends with you after a while. It's kind of like how if you don't see or talk to an irl friend for a while that friendship will start to fade. It just happens so much faster online because of the disposability of online only friendships. If you go into it accepting that most likely the friendship will fade and that it'll just be nice to meet a new person and talk for a couple days it gets easier. Hope you're doing well <3.
amor.dor
"The heart, if it could think, would stop."
- Dec 24, 2025
- 104
But you can't expect too much from someone you've only known for a few days, and even then you don't know what's going on in someone else's head, if that person isn't feeling well and wants to talk to someone else who really understands more about their situation.
There are many variables that we don't see, so it's best not to worry too much about it, just do what you like.
There are many variables that we don't see, so it's best not to worry too much about it, just do what you like.
Dejected 55
Visionary
- May 7, 2025
- 2,140
Sadly this is people. Welcome to humanity!
In fairness... I will say this... sometimes my depression gets to me so much that I want to disappear... and I might not answer the phone or respond to anyone for a couple of days. That's different from the ghosting that is too common. When it's depression or just being busy or whatever... people who care will come back in a day or two and will explain why they were slow to respond because they want you to know it wasn't you OR if they were mad at you specifically, they will tell you and be open to talk about it.
If they ghost and never come back... or you write a paragraph and they write a sentence... then they don't really care. It hurts when that happens... and you want to keep trying because you want connection and thought you had it... but you can't make people talk to you who don't care.
In fairness... I will say this... sometimes my depression gets to me so much that I want to disappear... and I might not answer the phone or respond to anyone for a couple of days. That's different from the ghosting that is too common. When it's depression or just being busy or whatever... people who care will come back in a day or two and will explain why they were slow to respond because they want you to know it wasn't you OR if they were mad at you specifically, they will tell you and be open to talk about it.
If they ghost and never come back... or you write a paragraph and they write a sentence... then they don't really care. It hurts when that happens... and you want to keep trying because you want connection and thought you had it... but you can't make people talk to you who don't care.
maylurker
Experienced
- Dec 28, 2025
- 255
that happens all the time and people will say ur looking in the wrong places but in reality people are so divided that everyone is used to being alone
I think friendships can be as serious as romantic relationships for some people. The fit has to be right. It does seem like you put a lot of effort into friendship but then, it also seems to me like (I hope you don't take this offensively,) you are looking for very deep friendships right off the bat.
I think that initial phase of chatting with someone is finding out whether you have enough in common to carry the friendship further. Sometimes, it can be someone we like but, don't have things to talk about every day. Some people here also struggle to respond promtly. We all have our own quirks.
Also- and I hope you don't take this offensively either- you seem to have very specific views on certain things. Which is your right of course. Plus, your right to only choose to socialise with those who have the same views. But, I don't know if that's part of the issue.
I do see it fairly often here though- posts asking: 'Will you be my friend?' I guess it makes sense- looking for people open to making connections. Being up front that that is what they want. Ultimately though- how can we know? Until we both know more about one another- we can't know whether we want to be friends with a person and vice versa. I think it's sometimes wise to wait for a few weeks or months of regular contact to believe we have created a new friendship.
I tend to agree with other members though and I've experienced it personally a few times too. It's safer not to pin expectations on people. It can be really difficult when we feel enthused that something deeper is developing but, even irl friends are unreliable, I've found. I try so hard now to enjoy the experience in the moment. Maybe hope that it continues but, try not to set my heart on it. It's not to not communicate with people but more- to try to accept them on their terms. Some will message every day. Some every few months.
I think that initial phase of chatting with someone is finding out whether you have enough in common to carry the friendship further. Sometimes, it can be someone we like but, don't have things to talk about every day. Some people here also struggle to respond promtly. We all have our own quirks.
Also- and I hope you don't take this offensively either- you seem to have very specific views on certain things. Which is your right of course. Plus, your right to only choose to socialise with those who have the same views. But, I don't know if that's part of the issue.
I do see it fairly often here though- posts asking: 'Will you be my friend?' I guess it makes sense- looking for people open to making connections. Being up front that that is what they want. Ultimately though- how can we know? Until we both know more about one another- we can't know whether we want to be friends with a person and vice versa. I think it's sometimes wise to wait for a few weeks or months of regular contact to believe we have created a new friendship.
I tend to agree with other members though and I've experienced it personally a few times too. It's safer not to pin expectations on people. It can be really difficult when we feel enthused that something deeper is developing but, even irl friends are unreliable, I've found. I try so hard now to enjoy the experience in the moment. Maybe hope that it continues but, try not to set my heart on it. It's not to not communicate with people but more- to try to accept them on their terms. Some will message every day. Some every few months.
