whatevs
Mining for copium in the weirdest places.
- Jan 15, 2022
- 2,914
I experienced some of what is to go to an intensive work with random people (normies). Be it because I have unrefreshing sleep and feel cranky and slow as a result every day, or because I have been semi-NEET for many years, I found the idea of going there, exert yourself and deal with despicable people in exchange of money I have no ambitions to spend of completely Kafkaesque.
I realized that if you have nothing going on in your life outside of some solitary coping strategies the normalized idea of stressing yourself and pretending with strangers for half of the day in exchange of money makes no sense.
People work because they do something they like with the money, they 'go out to drink or dine', they 'do things with friends, like trips', they 'move out of their parents house with their girlfriend', they 'surf or do some other sport', they 'buy a more expensive gaming PC'. Basically, people work because they enjoy life. Work is pretty gruelling, so you need to have something in return, and just the money without having a life doesn't work, money is to finance your happiness, but you need that potential happiness in the first place. Nothing makes me really happy, and only feeling rested and energetic would guarantee a change in that.
Many times, before the internship, I realized that the meager sums I accumulated in an earlier job with a fellow conspiracy realist tended to just sit idly in the drawer. I genuinely wanted nothing and had nothing to use the money with. The only reason I went there was to have conversations with my boss, which was like a semi-friend.
So to me, the chronically ill guy trying to cope with his chronic fatigue and malaise reading or masturbating and that is seriously doubting the convenience of existing , the notion of adding further anxiety to my life so that I get paid is lunacy. I cannot probably work even if I wanted as I am either depressed or bitter and people loathe that, they want 'high energy' and sense of humor.
I need to have some quality of life before working. The argument can be that by working you can get better mental health, but I didn't. It distracted me but also faced me every day with how abnormal I am, as I had to deal with people I would normally avoid. It increased my sense of isolation.
I realized that if you have nothing going on in your life outside of some solitary coping strategies the normalized idea of stressing yourself and pretending with strangers for half of the day in exchange of money makes no sense.
People work because they do something they like with the money, they 'go out to drink or dine', they 'do things with friends, like trips', they 'move out of their parents house with their girlfriend', they 'surf or do some other sport', they 'buy a more expensive gaming PC'. Basically, people work because they enjoy life. Work is pretty gruelling, so you need to have something in return, and just the money without having a life doesn't work, money is to finance your happiness, but you need that potential happiness in the first place. Nothing makes me really happy, and only feeling rested and energetic would guarantee a change in that.
Many times, before the internship, I realized that the meager sums I accumulated in an earlier job with a fellow conspiracy realist tended to just sit idly in the drawer. I genuinely wanted nothing and had nothing to use the money with. The only reason I went there was to have conversations with my boss, which was like a semi-friend.
So to me, the chronically ill guy trying to cope with his chronic fatigue and malaise reading or masturbating and that is seriously doubting the convenience of existing , the notion of adding further anxiety to my life so that I get paid is lunacy. I cannot probably work even if I wanted as I am either depressed or bitter and people loathe that, they want 'high energy' and sense of humor.
I need to have some quality of life before working. The argument can be that by working you can get better mental health, but I didn't. It distracted me but also faced me every day with how abnormal I am, as I had to deal with people I would normally avoid. It increased my sense of isolation.