Venting Pathetic

[keroppsi]

I'm a disappointment to everybody sooner or later. I can't ever get out of bed to to anything. I'm a financial burden on my already broke dad with all my hospital visits. I don't have a mom anymore, I feel no connection to anyone or anything I'm a horrible daughter a horrible sister a horrible friend and a horrible granddaughter. I want to die so badly but I'm so scared. I'm scared of the hell I deserve in the afterlife. I'm scared of how it will feel but I long for it so badly. I'm sitting here typing this and sobbing rather than doing anything about it. I feel pathetic. I am pathetic and useless

 

[EternalShore]

I'm sorry to hear about how you feel. :( Remember, it's not your fault you keep getting hospitalized and can't do anything (since you are quite literally hospitalized). It'd be nice if life had dealt us all a better hand~ :( Anyways, I will the best! ^_^ Praying for you! :)

 

[budgerigar training]

I understand how you feel, I felt similarly when I was hospitalised, and it's okay to feel that way.
Please don't hold things out of your control against yourself. You aren't a worst version of yourself.

 

[Weltall]

I'm a disappointment to everybody sooner or later. I can't ever get out of bed to to anything. I'm a financial burden on my already broke dad with all my hospital visits. I don't have a mom anymore, I feel no connection to anyone or anything I'm a horrible daughter a horrible sister a horrible friend and a horrible granddaughter. I want to die so badly but I'm so scared. I'm scared of the hell I deserve in the afterlife. I'm scared of how it will feel but I long for it so badly. I'm sitting here typing this and sobbing rather than doing anything about it. I feel pathetic. I am pathetic and useless

It's okay to be scared. Despite our intelligence, we're still simple creatures to the grand schemes of things. We can makes theories and assertions on what we think or feel is right, but we can't truly know for sure.

Keep crying until you can't anymore. It's healthy, and helps with the huge amount of internal stress you're dealing with.
It might be hard for you to love others right now, because you don't know how to love yourself.
You need to focus on making yourself happy, because you deserve and need it.

Just know that if your father is still helping you, then he still has love and kindnesses to give you.