Please indulge me. A couple of years ago, I wouldn't have believed in this shit, but now, I dunno.
Ive seen my share of psychics and honestly, I really think there is something else out there. Ive even had discussions of suicide with them and they all reiterate the same bollocks of how it's pretty much a "reset button" and doesn't fix anything and life is precious blah bleh bluh etc. But honestly, I see no other way and just feel I'm going in circles. I'm tired and feel I'm sparing myself a worser fate (homeless? No thanks Jeff).
Anyway, there really is no way of proving this but apparently I was this prick Miguel Ydigoras Fuentes. A president of Guatemala during a civil war. He was also apparently some kind of enforcer to some Hitler-esque dictator lol. A lot of people apparently died under his rule. But I dunno, he seemed to have been a victim of his time and may genuinely have wanted the best for his country even if meant employing brutal tactics. In some ways, I feel I may have inherited his brutal ideology and in some kind of poetic justice, ironic way, I was reincarnated into the type of weak, pathetic sack of shit this dude was trying to eradicate in his country??? Haha. I know I am weak and pathetic and hopeless. People like me are not worth saving and are a drain on society's resources. People like me are black holes and will be the detriment to society by poor, misguided, do-gooder souls trying to help us.
Anyway, that was my rant. Could all be bullshit and in addition to being some depressed, anxious fucktard, I could simply just be a crazy one at that. Lol.
I was actually thinking of going to Guatemala for a vacation and learning more about this dude in the misguided hope of "trying to learn stuff my soul didn't learn in my last life." But now, couldn't care less. Don't give a fuck. Maybe I'm not supposed to learn anything in this life either. Maybe I'm supposed to feel and experience utter despair and hopelessness in this life "for the betterment of my soul." This is something my soul just has to go through? So be it...