Method Passive Suicide by Inducing Hypokalemia

[willitpass]

This is simply a passive method I will be trying, obviously it is not a true method as A. I cannot guarantee critical potassium levels and B. I cannot predict the outcome if I do achieve them. However, I have had unintentional critical potassium before and nearly died, albeit I had many other issues going on that may have almost killed me other than the hypokalemia so whose the say that's what almost did me in. I have had a lot of blood work in my life so I know I already run on the low end of normal, and with being anorexic I'm sure I've probably been sitting a bit low lately anyway. I'm going to take excessive laxatives, possibly some over the counter diuretics, excessive apple cider vinegar, and large quantities of water in order to fuck up my potassium even more. Even if it doesn't kill me, it's a fucked up version of self harm because I feel I deserve the suffering I'm sure will be induced by this. I hate myself and if it kills me I will be more than happy.

 

[Burden_Bailey]

Good luck.

 

[DoubleUp8]

Don't sound like a great idea.

 

[willitpass]

Don't sound like a great idea.

I'm aware it isn't exactly a suicide method as there are far too many variables. It's honestly more of a form of self harm with potentially lethal outcomes. I deserve the pain.

 

[AshersGirl]

I think I actually did this last year when I was stuck in very deep grief. I don't think it was a conscious "suicide attempt" but I'd literally not been eating or drinking for weeks and when I did eat something I took a lot of laxatives with a lot of water after first purging the food. No apple cider vinegar or diuretics though. But I was also eating propranolol like sweets for anxiety and taking quetiapine for sleep. Things from then are very blurry as my BPD had magnified the intensity of grief a million fold and I do think I spent about three months in some sort of psychosis but I remember a few things - the intense stomach cramps, and the fact that my legs kept collapsing. I remember swinging my legs out of bed to stand up and they just didn't work. I couldn't even feel them. Sensation came back fairly quick though and I'm not sure what caused it. I was also having regular episodes where I thought I was having a heart attack, and a lot of problems with passing out / being unable to breathe. I'm not sure if it was a result of the laxative abuse and lack of sustenance, or grief, or the fact I kept experimenting with night night method at the same time or what though. I actually thought I was dying but I didn't care, I hoped for it. Self harm with potentially lethal outcomes is something I'm acquainted with myself.

I really hope that if you do go through with this you don't suffer too much. Even though it's your choice and you feel deserving of pain, I'm sorry life has brought you to the place where you do feel that you deserve it. I understand the feeling and the self abuse, so I send you hugs.

 

[willitpass]

I think I actually did this last year when I was stuck in very deep grief. I don't think it was a conscious "suicide attempt" but I'd literally not been eating or drinking for weeks and when I did eat something I took a lot of laxatives with a lot of water after first purging the food. No apple cider vinegar or diuretics though. But I was also eating propranolol like sweets for anxiety and taking quetiapine for sleep. Things from then are very blurry as my BPD had magnified the intensity of grief a million fold and I do think I spent about three months in some sort of psychosis but I remember a few things - the intense stomach cramps, and the fact that my legs kept collapsing. I remember swinging my legs out of bed to stand up and they just didn't work. I couldn't even feel them. Sensation came back fairly quick though and I'm not sure what caused it. I was also having regular episodes where I thought I was having a heart attack, and a lot of problems with passing out / being unable to breathe. I'm not sure if it was a result of the laxative abuse and lack of sustenance, or grief, or the fact I kept experimenting with night night method at the same time or what though. I actually thought I was dying but I didn't care, I hoped for it. Self harm with potentially lethal outcomes is something I'm acquainted with myself.

I really hope that if you do go through with this you don't suffer too much. Even though it's your choice and you feel deserving of pain, I'm sorry life has brought you to the place where you do feel that you deserve it. I understand the feeling and the self abuse, so I send you hugs.

I am also very familiar with potentially lethal self harm. I've been self harming since I was 9 and as the years have gone on I've shifted from cutting to more severe and I suppose one could say creative ways to torture myself. I've overdosed on caffeine, sleep deprived myself, starved myself, over medicated with random OTC drugs, attempted to amputate limbs. You name it I've tried it. I'll just have to add this one to this list now if I survive. I just took a large quantity of laxatives and apple cider vinegar. I only took one water pill because I've never taken them before and to be frank I am a little nervous of how it will make me feel haha. I'm sure I'll take more tomorrow after this little test run.

 

[AshersGirl]

I've also done all those things bar the attempted limb amputation. When my mental health is more stable (which has happened intermittently over the years) I can look at some of the things I've done and think - how? Why? What was I even thinking? But I do still go into episodes, sometimes for extended periods, where I revert back to my default of playing Russian roulette with risky self harm behaviours, usually in response to traumatic events which my brain wiring is just not equipped to handle.

Self harm is an addiction of sorts. I think we can go into recovery but it's always there beckoning, like an alcoholic who knows even after years sober that one sip has the potential to lure them back into active addiction.