bunintherug
husk of a girl
- Jan 1, 2024
- 25
i've written my note, and i was planning for next friday but i genuinely can't take it anymore. i'm so tired of feeling like this and i just want it to end. i want to do partial hanging, as it's really the only thing accessible to me. I wanted to jump but i saw a story of someone surviving a 7 story fall, and that sounds horrifying, i don't want to go through that. I also thought about using a train, since the tracks are feet from my house, but when the train came my fight or flight kicked in and i ran away. my problem is, when i tested my ligature point it didn't work, it broke. i thought about using a rafter in the basement but i share my basement with my neighbors and i don't want them to find me. i doubt i could use the bar in my closet as its held up by rubber, i dont want to test it and risk breaking it and making a problem. i thought i could use my doorknob but its way too low to the ground. there's a bar on my dresser that would probably hold my weight but its even closer to the ground. is there something i could buy to use? i'm so tired and i just want to get this done today. i'm going to order a rope to be delivered to my house right now, so if i need to buy something to hang on aswell it wouldn't be a big deal. i just need out.
