Parents ok with their kids suffering

[divinemistress36]

Its sad to me how so many parents dismiss how much their kids suffer once they hit adulthood. They bring them into this world and just expect them to pick themselves up by their bootstraps. We have no manual or guide and being disabled its even harder. Your kid lays around in bed all day depressed and wanting to die how do they not want to help them? Why would they not search out ways to try to help them? Im not a kid person but if I had a kid I wouldnt be handle them being in pain and would do whatever I could to help them even if they were 40 years old. I dont understand humanity...

 

[Darkover]

yes i asked my dad to make amends with me over my teeth after he neglected to take me to the dentist when i was a kid he just said to me i asked you and you said no, it's true he did ask me and i said no but it was only one time he ever ask me if i wanted to go to the dentist, i told him it's the parents responsibility not the kids and that he was meant to take me kicking and screaming, what makes it even worse is he's a nurse for the nhs

i would like to sue him for about 5,000£ to 10,000£ but there is no law in the uk saying parents must take there children to the dentist
my dad pathetic

 

[EvisceratedJester]

A lot of parents start dismissing their kids' suffering long prior to them reaching adulthood, hence the growing conversation surrounding the dehumanization and normalization of the mistreatment of children. Most children have their feelings dismissed or downplayed by their parents from a young age, so it's not surprising that this continues into adulthood. Deciding to have kids on its own is already quite selfish and does involve some degree of disregard for the potential suffering that your offspring will go through.

 

[divinemistress36]

yes i asked my dad to make amends with me over my teeth after he neglected to take me to the dentist when i was a kid he just said to me i asked you and you said no, it's true he did ask me and i said no but it was only one time he ever ask me if i wanted to go to the dentist, i told him it's the parents responsibility not the kids and that he was meant to take me kicking and screaming, what makes it even worse is he's a nurse for the nhs

i would like to sue him for about 5,000£ to 10,000£ but there is no law in the uk saying parents must take there children to the dentist
my dad pathetic

Thats awful Im sorry. Not taking your kid to the dentist is neglect

A lot of parents start dismissing their kids' suffering long prior to them reaching adulthood, hence the growing conversation surrounding the dehumanization and normalization of the mistreatment of children. Most children have their feelings dismissed or downplayed by their parents from a young age, so it's not surprising that this continues into adulthood. Deciding to have kids on its own is already quite selfish and does involve some degree of disregard for the potential suffering that your offspring will go through.

So true. I had this pointed out by my therapist the other day

 

[bankai]

It has to do with the fact that kids are just expected to be had at a certain age. People don't make a conscious choice to have kids anymore. It's peer and parental pressure.

Having children is the most important decision you can make in your life. I chose to not have kids simply because. This world doesn't deserve any more people. It's corrupt, self-serving. And I can't guarantee a good life for my kids. People choose to have children anyway because they don't give a damn and they're selfish. They have the kids and then expect the kids to owe them for being born.

 

[LittleMagician]

Its sad to me how so many parents dismiss how much their kids suffer once they hit adulthood. They bring them into this world and just expect them to pick themselves up by their bootstraps. We have no manual or guide and being disabled its even harder. Your kid lays around in bed all day depressed and wanting to die how do they not want to help them? Why would they not search out ways to try to help them? Im not a kid person but if I had a kid I wouldnt be handle them being in pain and would do whatever I could to help them even if they were 40 years old. I dont understand humanity...

Just overheard my mum say to my dad over the phone "I mean she's 19 years old it's not like she's 2!!" Very sad reality how dare you fucking give me life and then turn on me once I've barely reached adulthood!!!!!!!!!! Sorry I'm just so angry this game of life seems so rigged and unfair

 

[divinemistress36]

Just overheard my mum say to my dad over the phone "I mean she's 19 years old it's not like she's 2!!" Very sad reality how dare you fucking give me life and then turn on me once I've barely reached adulthood!!!!!!!!!! Sorry I'm just so angry this game of life seems so rigged and unfair

They dont realize they could have been some of the reason for your mental health issues

 

[Lost Magic]

Most people suck and make for shitty parents. I would rather slit my wrists on the spot than bring a child into this absurd world. There is no end to the possible suffering they may face and I couldn't live that down.

 

[Daenerys Targaryen]

Since everything revolves around the mind and the head, they believe that everything will end on its own and that we are not strong enough to overcome it. They say it's a matter of changing our attitude and mentality, when only we know. they have a backward mentality, and they don't understand us. Mental health and invisible illnesses are a matter of our responsibility, and they blame us. I find it pathetic, not the next level. No one understands us, and no one will ever understand us.

 

[betternever2havbeen]

yes i asked my dad to make amends with me over my teeth after he neglected to take me to the dentist when i was a kid he just said to me i asked you and you said no, it's true he did ask me and i said no but it was only one time he ever ask me if i wanted to go to the dentist, i told him it's the parents responsibility not the kids and that he was meant to take me kicking and screaming, what makes it even worse is he's a nurse for the nhs

i would like to sue him for about 5,000£ to 10,000£ but there is no law in the uk saying parents must take there children to the dentist
my dad pathetic

That's ridiculous leaving it up to the child-as if a kid is gonna say yes please take me to the dentist that sounds like fun! You're not old enough to understand the repercussions along the line of not going when you're that young. Hell I even haven't been to the dentist since my appointment got cancelled because of Covid and now I'm mega regretting it since I now have to pay private and I have no idea what I might need. Honestly if it ends up being thousands I think I'll just CTB in that case anyway cos no way can I afford that. That's all my own fault though!

I just can't imagine parents not taking their kids to the dentist although you really realise how many shit parents there are when you hear about the dental crisis in kids. People want teachers to take care of it now-can you imagine? Parents are so fucking useless they can't even do the bare minimum of making sure their kids teeth are cleaned but teachers can do that for 25 kids?! Not to mention apparently can't feed them breakfast either. I'm not sure what some parents do at this point might as well hand them to schools to raise for 18 years and be done with it.

 

[Hotsackage]

That and you have rfk Jr complaining about spending 1.8 trillion dollars to help disabled and neurodivergent. What a complete fucking moron, all about that cost.

 

[Darkover]

That's ridiculous leaving it up to the child-as if a kid is gonna say yes please take me to the dentist that sounds like fun! You're not old enough to understand the repercussions along the line of not going when you're that young

Yeah, it is ridiculous. Expecting a child to make an informed decision about their own healthcare especially something like dental care that has long-term consequences is just insane. Kids hate the dentist by default, that's not a green light to just shrug and say, "Well, I asked." That's not parenting, that's just opting out of responsibility.

Hell I even haven't been to the dentist since my appointment got cancelled because of Covid and now I'm mega regretting it since I now have to pay private and I have no idea what I might need. Honestly if it ends up being thousands I think I'll just CTB in that case anyway cos no way can I afford that.

It really sucks that Covid disrupted so much basic care for people like you, and now you're left to pick up the pieces on your own and somehow find the money to deal with it. Private dental costs can be terrifying. It's not just about being afraid of the dentist anymore, it's about whether you can even afford to get help. That kind of stress shouldn't be on anyone.

You really realise how many shit parents there are when you hear about the dental crisis in kids. People want teachers to take care of it now-can you imagine? Parents are so fucking useless they can't even do the bare minimum of making sure their kids teeth are cleaned but teachers can do that for 25 kids?! Not to mention apparently can't feed them breakfast either. I'm not sure what some parents do at this point might as well hand them to schools to raise for 18 years and be done with it.

You're right about the bigger picture too. The fact that the state keeps shifting responsibility onto schools says a lot. It's like they expect teachers to be educators, therapists, parents, nutritionists, and now dental care providers too. Meanwhile, some parents don't even bother with brushing their kids' teeth or giving them breakfast. Then they turn around and act shocked when their kids have cavities or can't concentrate in class.

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

As an older guy with adult kids, I'd say you're right. It's also true that parents are often in the same situation themselves.

 

[betternever2havbeen]

Yeah, it is ridiculous. Expecting a child to make an informed decision about their own healthcare especially something like dental care that has long-term consequences is just insane. Kids hate the dentist by default, that's not a green light to just shrug and say, "Well, I asked." That's not parenting, that's just opting out of responsibility.

Definitely, parenting is about making lots of hard decisions for your child's welfare. I hope you have not suffered too badly with your teeth as a result.

It really sucks that Covid disrupted so much basic care for people like you, and now you're left to pick up the pieces on your own and somehow find the money to deal with it. Private dental costs can be terrifying. It's not just about being afraid of the dentist anymore, it's about whether you can even afford to get help. That kind of stress shouldn't be on anyone.

Thanks. I developed anxiety around going (it's even worse now due to not going for so long) so I just didn't make another appointment even though they asked me to. I would've appreciated if they could've warned me they were gonna take me off the NHS list but it's not up to them to chase everyone up. I was an idiot what can I say, people would kill to have an NHS dental place and I just let mine go like that. That's probably gonna be an expensive lesson! Especially since I probably grind my teeth these days due to anxiety as well.

You're right about the bigger picture too. The fact that the state keeps shifting responsibility onto schools says a lot. It's like they expect teachers to be educators, therapists, parents, nutritionists, and now dental care providers too. Meanwhile, some parents don't even bother with brushing their kids' teeth or giving them breakfast. Then they turn around and act shocked when their kids have cavities or can't concentrate in class.

They definitely expect too much from teachers now. I don't know how they get any teaching done. We have a massive crisis with teachers leaving in the UK and it's no surprise. Behaviour is shocking too from what I hear. And then expecting schools to feed kids. No one wants to blame parents for their negligence either they just want to say "well do you want kids to go hungry?" as if it's societies fault.

 

[CentreMid]

Some parents are incapable of comprehending the fact that sometimes, the suffering is out of the child's control and instead of being willing to listen and figure out solutions with the child, the parents blame the children for their suffering and believe the child will find a way to "deal with their own mess".

It's pure selfishness, and ignorance as usual.

 

[PaperStar]

I know right? It's so upsetting. When I was younger, my dad took my door away because I was too depressed to clean it. I was never diagnosed with depression, but I feel like it was pretty damn obvious I was struggling with it. My parents would constantly complain about how I spend all day in my room, how I never wanted to spend time with anyone, etc etc. It's silly, because they also brought up how I wouldn't open up to them. Why the hell would I open up to them about having depression when they'd probably just go, "you need to stop believing everything you see online." Their thought process is ridiculous imo. Every time I've tried to open up to them, I was met with the same responses. I never tried to mention depression, since like... no. Once I brought up the possibility of me having ADHD, and another time how I might be autistic. They said I was "too smart" and that I "wasn't sick." And they also told me to stop believing everything I see online. It sucks, because every now and then they'll jab at me about how I search things up and then trust them too much, despite how often I tell them that I do hours of research (I've given up on trying to convince them though).

Ooooh, I just realized, if they actually took my depression seriously, they would've probably just forced me to go to church more. That's scary, good thing I never said anything lmao

 

[divinemistress36]

I know right? It's so upsetting. When I was younger, my dad took my door away because I was too depressed to clean it. I was never diagnosed with depression, but I feel like it was pretty damn obvious I was struggling with it. My parents would constantly complain about how I spend all day in my room, how I never wanted to spend time with anyone, etc etc. It's silly, because they also brought up how I wouldn't open up to them. Why the hell would I open up to them about having depression when they'd probably just go, "you need to stop believing everything you see online." Their thought process is ridiculous imo. Every time I've tried to open up to them, I was met with the same responses. I never tried to mention depression, since like... no. Once I brought up the possibility of me having ADHD, and another time how I might be autistic. They said I was "too smart" and that I "wasn't sick." And they also told me to stop believing everything I see online. It sucks, because every now and then they'll jab at me about how I search things up and then trust them too much, despite how often I tell them that I do hours of research (I've given up on trying to convince them though).

Ooooh, I just realized, if they actually took my depression seriously, they would've probably just forced me to go to church more. That's scary, good thing I never said anything lmao

Oh my parents say the same thing stop believing everything you read online lol. Im like but the internet has told me more than any doctor has. Oh you would be even more depressed if you had to go to church more. Then when their kids kill themselves parents act suprised and pretend like they didnt see the "signs"

 

[PaperStar]

Oh my parents say the same thing stop believing everything you read online lol. Im like but the internet has told me more than any doctor has. Oh you would be even more depressed if you had to go to church more. Then when their kids kill themselves parents act suprised and pretend like they didnt see the "signs"

One time a doctor confirmed something I had researched and my dad still went and got mad at me for thinking I was right! I used to have really bad headaches, and I started doing a lot of research on migraines and the symptoms matched. I brought it up at the doctor's office and my dad tried to cut me off saying that I didn't know what I was talking about, only for the doctor to say that there's a good chance it was migraines! She told me to take medication before my headaches get bad because if I waited too long then the medication wouldn't too much. It actually helped a lot, but my dad and I ended up getting into an argument about it once we were home because I tried to tell my mom about what the doctor said.

 

[Namelesa]

I don't understand it. Like to me thats just evil, especially if they were the ones responsible for forcefully bringing us here. They caused this suffering to potentially happen so they should be able to take care of us. How do they not feel any guilt or responsibility over it? I would feel that a ton but they probably just doing what their parents did but why do they not care enough or even think to break the cycle? I don't understand it.

 

[divinemistress36]

I don't understand it. Like to me thats just evil, especially if they were the ones responsible for forcefully bringing us here. They caused this suffering to potentially happen so they should be able to take care of us. How do they not feel any guilt or responsibility over it? I would feel that a ton but they probably just doing what their parents did but why do they not care enough or even think to break the cycle? I don't understand it.

I dont get it either and studies are coming out that mental illness can be genetic so its possible they spread their shitty genes to us. I know humans are run by their animal urges but you would think their biological instincts would want their offspring to thrive for survival purposes

 

[cme-dme]

Any time I'm not spending at work I am spending in my room, away from everybody, on my laptop in bed. I keep my suffering to myself though >.< I have never told my parents how I truly feel even after a decade of feeling this way :( So I wouldn't blame my mom if she just thinks I'm a kind of quiet and weird person and nothing else...

 

[ididnotconsent]

Its sad to me how so many parents dismiss how much their kids suffer once they hit adulthood. They bring them into this world and just expect them to pick themselves up by their bootstraps. We have no manual or guide and being disabled its even harder. Your kid lays around in bed all day depressed and wanting to die how do they not want to help them? Why would they not search out ways to try to help them? Im not a kid person but if I had a kid I wouldnt be handle them being in pain and would do whatever I could to help them even if they were 40 years old. I dont understand humanity...

Those are shitty parents. A lot of parents do try to help. They give their kids free room and board, take them to appointments and everything. Many parents love their children.

Granted they should of probably not had kids in the first place but still. That's a different topic.

Let's not generalize all parents. This is coming from someone who is not a parent.

 

[Arrival03]

Been completely isolated for five years, had so little social interaction that I struggle to talk now. Parents still expect me to be able to function normally.